<p>thanks for posting, coffee. Glad you got to fly the kite.</p>
<p>It is normal to be sad and even a little weepy. If you are feeling more emotional to the point of it affecting your life, then you should consider talking to a doctor or a therapist, as mentioned before. </p>
<p>I remember posting on here a few years ago when D was learning to drive. I was having unreal panic attacks. Someone suggested it might be hormonal. It was good advice to check it out.</p>
<p>Coffee12-- You sound like a real caretaker. Would it be possible for you to channel your needs to caretake into a volunteer opportunity at a local school or community center. There are so many young people in need of attention and help. This may be far-fetched but just a thought.</p>
<p>really sorry to read post 64. for what it is worth i know that navigating PCP to therapist to treatment can be a minefield. Unfortunately I find a lot of therapists are rushed and automatic in my neck of the woods.</p>
<p>If you are afraid that you are at risk then the best solution is to go to an emergency room. they are able to escalate any problems, speed up appointments, give you bridging medication if that is necessary pending more definitive treatment. Sometimes it is necessary to pay a compassionate therapist if you find that you are getting inadequate care with your insurance.</p>
<p>How are you today Coffee12?</p>
<p>The roller coaster continues. Terrible day yesterday but a decent night last night.</p>
<p>Sent from my SCH-I605 using Tapatalk 2</p>
<p>Only 2 days til you see your therapist. Hang in there.</p>
<p>Good to see you around and checking in, Coffee. Since you are tech savvy, do you journal? I just checked and there are quite a few apps for phones out there… I searched “journal diary”… Perhaps a good way to help you day to day with emotions, and put feelings down.</p>
<p>coffee,
I really missed my “family life” when my last son went to college and left me and H with a very empty nest. We have always been a close family, and my sons are not only brothers but BFFs.</p>
<p>Something I did that helped me was that I made plans with my son to visit him for a weekend at his school a few weeks (like 4 weeks I think it was ) after school started. I asked him to plan a few things to show me his new life on campus. H and I took him to dinner Friday night–just family. Saturday was his day to show us his new life–h and I read the papers while he did a few hours work at the library, we went to lunch, played some frisbee on the quad with a couple of his friends. Saturday night we took him and several of his friends out to dinner and then took the gang on a run to the grocery store and Target (boy did the boys appreciate this opportunity) and then out for ice cream and then to a midnight movie on campus. Sunday we went to brunch with son and his roomie, ran a few more errands with him, and then had a nice lunch with him.</p>
<p>This weekend really helped me. I could feel that he was still my son, and seeing him so happy in his new environment for some reason made me feel much less of a loss. </p>
<p>By the way, we did this NOT on family weekend. Wise friends told us to avoid that weekend because it is a mob scene and we would not get a real feeling of his new and happy life–and that his friends would all be busy with their families so we would not really get a chance to meet them. </p>
<p>We were glad we heeded that advice. We did go for family weekend 3 weeks later, and had fun–but it was crowded and frenetic and while we went out with some of his friends and there families for a couple of meals, it didn’t have the same feeling.</p>
<p>S3 fell into a pattern of calling a couple of times a week when walking across campus, and sometimes sending me a picture of whatever taken on his phone. I send him pictures of his funny puppy (she is 9 now) and that will usually prompt an extra call, if he is at a time and place where that is possible.</p>
<p>S3 is 22 now, living and working in DC–I still miss having a full nest! But I really appreciate our adult relationship now. It is really nice not to have to “parent” etc.–I am and always will be Mommy to my boys, listening always and giving advice sometimes, but it is so nice not to have to feel like I need to monitor or admonish or set limits or discipline…There are good things to our children growing up and moving on.</p>
<p>OP,
You need to find a brand new hobby, activitiy that you have never tried before. It might take few tries. I would be a reck if I did not. Now, I can be sooo busy, that I would have only 3 -5 hours to sleep (it is not that I sm suffering from it, I do not need more than 5 hours, 5 hours are blessing that does not happen often). My problem was not just D. leaving, but my inability to be interested in anything that is NORMAL interests for most people, like house chores, shopping, TV, reading, gardenning, movies, traveling, cooking. Nope, cannot do any of it. So, I felt that I am in real trouble for after work hours that have been busy with my D. (who drove herself everywhere though while in HS). I have tried language and discovered that my brain is way too old for the new language, no luck. But then I have tired something else and it worked beautifully. Assess yourself, are you interested in art, music, basket weiving…whatever. You never know, you might get hooked like me (I am absolutely addicted to my hobby as others who are doing the same).<br>
As I said, I would be in depression by now. But I have survived and D. is into Grad. School - 3rd year, so it has been 6 years since she (the youngest) is out of house and we are just fine, adjusted and always happy to have either her or her big Bro’s family (grandkids too!) visiting us.</p>
<p>i took up poker some years back and it can be very compelling. nine other people always within earshot. the math and psychology of the game engaged my competitiveness - just keep the stakes low and be prepared for all sorts of people.</p>
<p>^This sounds great from any prospective!!! I love to play “Black Jack” when my S’s family is visiting, My 12 y o grandS. is very good at it, we always have fun!!!. I wish I can do it more often. But my place is full, and I slept today only 4 hours, was not planned, but the movie on TV was one of my favorite and it finished around 1am, woke up by alarm at 5:30am,went swimming outside at 6am (the romantic side of my day, watching sunrise while swimming) which woke me up completely, but I still had a cup of coffee, just for taste. I probably will not be up until 1am. But something good on TV is such a rare occasion that I just could not miss it, although I have seen this movie several times.</p>
<p>Since your son is so close to home make sure he makes an effort to get connected to his school and new friends. You need to set some rules with him that he cannot come home on weekends for at least 4 weeks or something. The first weeks are critical for finding friends. He might feel an obligation to come home.</p>
<p>I’m assuming he is living in the dorms. I hope so.</p>
<p>Sent from my Nexus S 4G using CC</p>
<p>Setting rules works for some and it does not work for others. No rules works in our family very well. Assume that your kid knows better what is good for him while in UG. That was our assumption, since we are not there and unable to assess. Aside from illegal activities, of course.</p>
<p>miamidap, Im curious as to the movie that would keep you staying up all night?
Im always looking for good movies to watch.</p>
<p>Good luck with your appt today.</p>
<p>I’m thinking of you! Good luck!</p>
<p>coffee, I’m thinking of you. I keep checking back here to see how you’re doing. Good luck today.</p>
<p>Still here…more roller coaster riding. Not as bad, but not there yet. Today is the last day of work for my son . He’s been with me since the middle of June. We just had a very nice lunch. Nine more days until move-in. I’m sad and yet so excited.</p>
<p>For the past 2 years I have been doing nothing but research, etc on college for him. All along coaching him in being prepared for college as well as LIFE. The whole time looking so forward to him finally going because I was so excited for him and not once EVER thinking about the fact that he wouldn’t be living at home when this happens.</p>
<p>I had a crazy thought yesterday… Maybe subconsciously I just can’t wait until he gets going because all of the prep work is done? I dunno. Will I feel better once he is actually there? I dunno. I just want to feel better than I have been. After tomorrow I am on vacation until after he moves in.</p>
<p>I have been Journaling since 7/21 when these feelings started. </p>
<p>This whole situation is just so bizarre … It doesn’t seem real. Therapist tonight. </p>
<p>Thanks for listening</p>
<p>Sent from my SCH-I605 using Tapatalk 2</p>
<p>That all sounds good. I feel like you’ve turned a corner. Not that there won’t be twists and turns to come, but (if I’m reading this correctly) you’re back to considering the positives in getting him on campus and on his way.</p>
<p>I promise you this next phase will be really satisfying. My “baby” is off to college 1,500 miles away next week. My older ds will be a college senior 1,000 miles away, and I get so much happiness from seeing his growth, not only academically but personally. Last night, we were having the talk about post-graduation plans. In a way, he has no idea what he’s going to do; in other ways, he sees so many opportunities and knows that he’ll land on his feet somewhere. It’s really fun hearing him talk about his future, and we’re still there cheering him along.</p>
<p>Please let us know how the therapy appt goes. I just had lunch with a friend who happens to be a therapist, and she’s seen a therapist off and on for as long as I’ve known her. Right now, she’s about to put her 88yo mother in assisted living and has decided to see her therapist weekly to get her through this really emotional time when she had been seeing her once every few months. No shame in reaching out!</p>