<p>hi cofee. hoping the best for you. i am older guy and my only child is my full focus. Just me and him. i find it helpful to look at his independence as an objective observer and take pride in hopefully having done a good job. i will probably increase my work load in two years when he moves away…</p>
<p>Off topic but we were discussing movies. on Netflix I saw The Giant Mechanical Man. Fairly dark but a really well done movie with the lady from Office. Quite impressive. Not a pick me-up though …</p>
<p>Hi, the therapist helped “I think”. Still processing everything that was said and trying to figure out if he told me anything I already didn’t know. Today is my first day back a the office w/o my son. Was a very sad ride in and walk into office.</p>
<p>One thing that I DO remember …</p>
<p>Turns out that the therapist spoke at sons HS in Jan 2013. I knew that from researching him. So I told the therapist him about it. He said “I wonder if I saw him”. Wife said “you probably did because son is involved with EVERYTHING, especially setting up sound, etc”. , </p>
<p>Therapist said that there was one kid that stood out to him. He asked me for a picture of son, so I showed him and he said “That’s the kid”. He said that my son was a very fine young man, not like most of the kids you see these days and was very nice and communicated well. Therapist said he had about 20 mins of interaction with son and was very impressed with the way he handled himself and commended us on doing a great job raising him to become what he is. Said we should be very proud of him and that we have very special son. Of course I was crying while this was being said.</p>
<p>emerald,
"miamidap, Im curious as to the movie that would keep you staying up all night?
Im always looking for good movies to watch. "
-I am exactly the same. I did not stay up whole night, I got very good 3 hours of sleep which after my 6am outside swimming was just fine, I was not tired. The good movies are hard to come by this days. I mostly stick to the old ones. This one was “Something Borrowed”. You may not like it, I am very particular about type of movies and this one is exactly my type with the very good actress for main character (I do not know her name, she also was in a role of Johny Cash’s wife in “Walk a line” - another of my very favorites). “Something Borrowed” is going to be on TV this Sunday at 8pm on Fox. I am planning to watch it again.</p>
<p>It would be lovely if we keep this thread focused on the OP and his issues.</p>
<p>That wonderful that you had a good first appointment with your therapist, coffee. It takes time to establish a relationship and work through issues.</p>
<p>coffee, What a beautiful story! It’s perfect that the therapist actually dealt with your son and was so impressed by him. I hope that this tribute to you and your wife is helpful at this point, that it adds to the positive side of this bittersweet time.</p>
<p>coffee – what good fortune you had in getting that therapist! I feel like he will totally understand you when you say you are sad at missing your great kid.</p>
<p>Lots of times after therapy you need time to let it all settle in (things the therapist said; things you revealed). If you have the chance to go somewhere quiet after a session and write down thoughts, that might be helpfull too.</p>
<p>I do not believe in therapy. At the end, if one does not take care of personbal self, nobody, no proffesional will do it for you. This is where I stand. Not everybody has the same postion, inderstandably so. But not being self-reliant has never worked for me, and I am ancient, lots of experience with the very very hard times. For me, if nobody is sick, it is a very good time, no matter what, lost job/got many rejections/life style change for non-controllable reasons/breaking your own peices of art - 3 of them yesterday, was actually laughing about it…whatever, nothing can put me down, nothing, but sickness/any health realted issues in my family, no other things are worth to get depressed over…none, life is given to enjoy, it is a sin not to, if you think about many not so fortunate. Be thankful every single day that you are alive and healthy, I do not know any other way to live.</p>
<p>Well, MiamiDAP, that’s spectacularly non-helpful to the OP. The OP is entitled to feel sad, even if his son isn’t (god forbid) dying of cancer or whatever. Life is not a contest for tragedies. He can feel sad. It’s ok, and “think positive!” is easier said than done. </p>
<p>OP - you’re doing the right thing. Hopefully the therapist can help you process what it is that makes your fears / anxieties so very relevant and real to you right now. Maybe it’s something in your past. I know that I have a particular trigger point of X and it wasn’t til I was able to relate it back to something that happened in my past that I had buried. I had to rip the wound back open, so to speak, in order to heal. I’m so glad you went, though. You’re ahead of the game in realizing you need assistance right now, and you sound very thoughtful and committed to working it all out, which is all anyone can ask. Best of luck and continue to check in.</p>
<p>“Well, MiamiDAP, that’s spectacularly non-helpful to the OP.”
-Why to be thankful for being alive/healthy is NOT helpful. Again, I said, that it is just my opinion based on dealing with many much more severe situations. However, being thankful is a universal rule that DOES help millions of people to survive hard times. Apparently, you are not one of these millions, but this way is worthwhile to try.</p>
<p>coffee12, so good to hear from you! I am glad the therapist was helpful, and I hope that you will surround yourself with people that love you and support you.</p>
<p>Miami-
With all due respect, the constant negative posts about what you don’t like or don’t agree with are, as pg said, spectacularly useless, especially to someone who is working through a difficult time. Please, go eat a donut or something. This is not about you.</p>
<p>I think it shows womderful strength to of character to seek out counseling if you feel you need it. Sometimes that impartial voice and set of ears is just the ticket. </p>
<p>I believe in counseling…but then I also believe I getting regular checkups…annually.</p>
<p>coffee12 - count me in as another person who knows that a good therapist can make all the difference in the world; it also takes a person who is willing to move out of their comfort zone, despite the pain they are feeling, to appreciate the challenges that you will undoubtedly face as you are guided through the therapeutic process. Only the most courageous people are willing to do this. Best of luck to you. Your son is lucky to have someone like you, even if it is difficult to see right now.</p>