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<p>That’s awesome!</p>
<p>very cool to see a parent so invested in their kid. did anyone suggest getting a pet? volunteering was a good idea. I hired my son’s friends at the office this summer just to have his presence by proxy while he was away…</p>
<p>Already have three cats.</p>
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<p>Coffee, I feel your pain in my Soul. My youngest leaves for college 1000 miles away next Wednesday and I am so happy he is happy , and at once deeply sad for the loss of our family life. Intparent, I’ve been a single mother too to my two sons for 15 years and now mourning the loss of our little family. I will no longer be a “single mother” but a mother who has college-aged sons. Me and the dachshund will have a lot of one way conversations. I cry in my bed at night and try not to in front of my son. I wrote him a letter to open when he gets there…no teary stuff, just how proud and excited I am for him and his brilliant future, and that I will always always be here for him. I am still dreading next Wednesday, work hard not to cry and focus on how happy he will be. I also know it is finally time for me to put myself first, which I have never done…I know I will fill my time fast…but there will be a transition, doubly rocky as we are moving now too…awful painful timing, but that’s how it worked out. Downsizing locally with rooms for the boys…I don’t know what’s ahead…it’s scary …I am glad there is a forum like this. I do recall when my oldest left last year I was deeply sad walking past his room for about three days, then I noticed how much more food we had, gas actually in the car, the house a little less cluttered and it was the new normal. One thing I found helpful at my youngest’s college orientation was a parent session where they said:
“You will always be their parent, it’s just that your job description is drastically changing”. We will always always be their parents…</p>
<p>Coffee, </p>
<p>We have multiple cats, as well. They were spoiled when kids were away at school. It was nice to have their company, especially when house was too quiet with less kid activities going on. I joked that I was going to make cat videos to post on internet especially after daughter went away to school. </p>
<p>You will need to find ways to fill your time. Taking a class, pursuing a hobby that you never had time for or…what? What is something you have wanted to do, but haven’t? </p>
<p>How is today going?</p>
<p>Coffee: Glad that your session went well & that you had a good evening! It’s always good to get an outside perspective. One thing that helped during the brief time I used a counselor was CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.) In my case it was about trying to rewire the pattern of negative thoughts creeping in. </p>
<p>I don’t know if anyone has mentioned this, but scheduling some things to look forward to right after your son moves in may be helpful. I’ve just scheduled 2 dinners out for the week after I move my freshman in. One with another mom who’s oldest will have just moved in for her freshman year as well. And I’m scheduling a massage for the following weekend. </p>
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I so agree with this M2CS! I’ve been taking care of somebody since I was 17 (that’s a long time!) and I’m considering this the year of me. I’m not quite sure how it’s going to play out. I might find out I’m just really boring without my kids to keep me in the loop.</p>
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<p>The best ones I ever use is Makers’ Mark or Woodford reserve. In China, they call red star “2 wok head” in Beijing. $50 buy you a couple of good sessions.</p>
<p>D2 left today for sophomore year. I will see her every few weeks because she attends DH’s alma mater and we have season tickets to football games. </p>
<p>I was actually sad today, and I could tell that for some reason, she was too. :(</p>
<p>I won’t miss her messyness, however. :o</p>
<p>When it’s just DH and I, our house is really really clean!</p>
<p>Less than 1 week to go. Had a very sad Saturday with only a few brief moments of crying. Once again I appreciate all of your comments and I read everything</p>
<p>One other note… I am in a constant state of numbness, like eveything is moving so fast . I always feel like I dont know what is going on at any given moment. Well,off to cry now.</p>
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<p>Do you have another session w the therapist set up?</p>
<p>coffee12, when was the last time you had a physical?</p>
<p>Ignore post 127. OP…you are doing the right thing. Drowning your sorrows in bourbon will not help. Shame on that poster for suggesting that to someone who is genuinely seeking help.</p>
<p>Makers Mark? Woodford Reserve? Those, especially Woodford, are high end bourbons. Expensive taste for someone who claims to be “dirt poor”. Stick with the therapy, Coffee12. Very appropriate route. Drowning sorrows in a bottle, of course, is not.</p>
<p>Alcohol tends to make sad people, sadder. I think that is the last thing coffee needs right now. </p>
<p>Exercise, talking with his doctor and a good therapist and some diversions are just the ticket.</p>
<p>Spot on, samurai. Get the endorphins going. Taking a CNS depressant (alcohol) is the wrong thing to do.</p>
<p>coffee12-- I am sorry you are having a difficult time. I don’t think it would be a bad idea to consider getting a physical and if possible to schedule weekly or twice weekly appointments with your therapist during this time of transition. You will make it through this!!!</p>
<p>Have to agree with those who have suggested getting a good, thorough physical. But I’m usually of the mindset that it’s always good to do things that set a good example for our kids. I think it is good for kids to see parents giving proper attention to health maintenance.</p>
<p>Had a checkup a few weeks ago. Appt with therapist on 8/22. I’m still sad and not crying as much , but I do have a few breakdowns here and there. I know alcohol is not the answer, so I’m ignoring those posts.</p>
<p>Had a good evening last night watching tv with my wife and son. It was like nothing was wrong. Felt like “normal”.</p>
<p>It’s now Monday morning and I feel like crap again. I am very anxious inside and so tired of this feeling and so tired of talking about it. Yes, I’m crying a little now. Don’t know what else to say that I haven’t already said. Feels like a 3 on 1 to 10 scale.</p>
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<p>Are there any support groups in your area for people with anxiety-related issues?</p>
<p>Exercise does help reduce anxiety. Even just walking on a treadmill or walking outside. </p>
<p>Was your therapist not available to see you once a week or did you want to make the next appt 2 weeks away? Just wondering if at first you might benefit from seeing them 1x/week. I always thought I’d never have enough to talk about but I always did.</p>
<p>I hope the “3” feeling lifts.</p>