In June I am flying for the first time in 4 years. I am not so afraid that I can’t get on the plane -but I will be nervous the entire time. I do have a prescription. I am mostly worried about crashing. However with all the stuff in the news lately -I also worry about out of control passengers. It will be a long trip. Atlanta to JFK the JFK to Copenhagen.
Anyone with a similar problem?
Flying is one of the safest things you can do. Safer than taking a bath. Here is one statistic for you: “Despite big-budget Hollywood films’ depictions of plane crashes, flying is actually the safest mode of transportation. In fact, the odds of a plane crash are one for every 1.2 million flights, with odds of dying one in 11 million. Your chances of dying in a car or traffic accident are one in 5,000.”
Thanks ! -I know that intellectually -but something happens emotionally when I think about flying that is totally irrational. It does help to hear it however. I know it is silly but even discussing it online helps
I understand a little - I have a fear of putting my head under water, well, at least without a diver’s mask on! I KNOW nothing will happen to me, but I panic a little.
I share your fears. I just try to forget that I am actually flying. I close the window shade, often have a glass of wine (or a mild sleeping pill on a long flight), and read or watch movies. I convince myself that I’m just in a room.
I hate flying, but I don’t let that stop me ever. I also realize it’s much less safer than driving a car, but the difference for me is the perception of control.
It sounds like you’re flying on Delta, which has a fantastic safety record. They don’t cut corners and their crews and maintenance are top notch. They are the last airline that I would worry about flying on. As far as an out of control passenger, things are different nowadays. Even the passengers will not allow that for long. You may sit next to someone irritating, but out of control, they won’t get away with. It’s pretty rare, too.
If you drink alcohol, I recommend a couple of glasses of wine or your favorite beverage. It helps people a lot (though if you’re taking some sort of medication, that may not be an option). If you have the ability to fly business class, it is so wonderful. It makes what could be a tiring experience into a luxurious one. We are flying Delta business class to Switzerland soon, and I really enjoy it. I’m always irritated when we start to descend and they turn off the entertainment system, because I’m not through with that movie yet! But if you can’t fly business, pay extra to get the Delta comfort seats if you can, they are roomier. Make your experience as pleasant as can be. Don’t arrive late to the airport, be early so you aren’t anxious even more.
And if your plane gets in a little turbulence, realize that it is absolutely no big deal. The planes are stressed for that, and the incidences of planes going down for turbulence are pretty much non-existent. It really is far more dangerous riding in a bus or a taxi somewhere…you don’t have control there either, plus even if your driver is great, there’s all those other crazies out there to worry about.
I agree that it’s best to upgrade to comfort class from economy class. It’s truly money well-spent, especially for 5+ hour flights and longer. We have flown since we were teens and our kids have flown since they were 6 months old. Get to the airport early so you have lots of time and aren’t rushed. You will be fine. I enjoy watching movies on these long flights (most of my flights are >5 hours).
I have rarely had unpleasantness on any of my flights and we fly over 35,000 miles/year. Most folks are just trying to get to their destination and are rather nice.
when I fly the anxiety comes from all sources outside of any fear of flying itself. it stems from the long lines, the TSA security theater nonsense, delays, angry passengers (when somebody is arguing with say the gate agent and I am just sitting there waiting to board it gives me stress.) the flying itself has never scared me. I agree that even though it is still very rare an in flight situation is a concern to me too. (we seem to see a video every week these days of fist fights, drunk people etc etc…)
so how I deal with this stress is by putting it into perspective. the tsa is nonsense and a waste (but just play the game) an argument at the counter over a baggage fee or something does not involve me…no stress needed, delays can and will happen…but they get resolved (hopefully sooner than later) a plane crash of a commercial jet is so rare it should not even cross your mind. if you can afford to fly business class do so(on the international segment)I used to think business class was a waste , now I see it as needed on a long flight. not if it is 2000.00 more but sometimes it is only 300-400 more.
I agree. I think the worst thing that happened lately is that the flight attendant brought my husband a coffee with Baileys instead of coffee and cream. The horror of it all. We fly over 125K miles a year as passengers.
Though some people can have irritating traits, earplugs will save you from most of it. Unless of course, you’re related to them, and then you’re stuck!
Thanks everyone. This is helpful. Like I said just putting it out there helps
Yes @busdriver11 we are flying Delta. We did get comfort Plus seating. Do you still have to turn off your electronics at takeoff?
I thought I read they were stopping that? but can’t remember
No, only laptops. You can have your tablets and phones on - just in airplane mode. Play solitaire or Tetris or something mindless like that as a distraction.
If you are going to take an anxiety medication, don’t drink alcohol.
Thanks all.
Most certainly not. People who take those meds should know that (I’m sure veruca does), you have to make your choice.
However, also don’t take a medication that you’ve never taken before and that you don’t know how you will react to it. Don’t try something brand new on a flight, only something you’re familiar with.
I am going to do a test run with the meds. I think I will wait till the longer leg of the flight to take it.
I sympathize. I can’t plan a trip that involves flying too far in advance because while I can get medication for the actual flight, there isn’t enough medication in the world to keep me from worrying about it every minute of every day beforehand. It’s limiting.
If you’re going through ATL this won’t affect you, but if you were taking any of the KLM cityhoppers in Europe (Delta partner), look for a first officer who looks like the King of the Netherlands. He’s been flying for KLM for over 20 years, incognito. Seriously, I love this guy. 
Just remember…take that medicine BEFORE you get on the plane…a lot before…so it’s in your system and working before you even get to the airport.
I would NOT recommend waiting until the second leg of your trip. Your anxiety level could,be over the top by then.
Thanks @thumper1 . I guess I could take it twice . Once for each leg (following the prescription of course )
The best thing you can do for a phobia is to expose yourself to it, ideally with some relaxation beforehand and afterward. The worst thing you can do for a phobia is avoidance.
One thing to do along those lines is to pony up for access to the airlines lounge during your layover. Have some crappy chardonnay and relax before your flight. Also, most airlines have massage shops. Consider those things as part of the cost of travel for you so you can justify the expense. Likewise, if you can afford it, buy a nicer seat like Comfort on Delta.
As for medication, it can help a little but really if you overdo it you are just anesthetizing yourself, not overcoming the anxiety. It is unlikely to diminish your anxiety over time or through each iteration. In fact, it is more likely to increase your anticipatory anxiety.