^^ Oh please, spare me. The “average” kid - even in private school - does not get 2300+ or take Calculus as a sophomore. The OP’s son had a very good admissions outcome. Maybe it is not one the parent or child wanted but it’s not as if the child is doomed to mediocrity or the parent has failed.
The boy may have been a bit overconfident and maybe immature (?) but this is the learning experience for him. He and the parent has now learned the very harsh lesson of what acceptance rates in the teens and single digits really mean.
Your S will not get hand-holding at college when it comes to turning in assignments, etc. He has some fine acceptances in hand and a list that reflected a nice spread of COA, likelihood of admissions, etc. You have not failed!
I have a friend whose S went to UCSB in a STEM major and was in the College of Creative Studies program. Was a terrific experience for him. Considering engineering programs are certified under one umbrella, state schools and privates cover much of the same territory. Getting into UMich OOS engineering shows he had a strong app even if he didn’t send the latest SAT score.
And these schools…
Vanderbilt
Carnegie Mellon
Johns Hopkins
Stanford
UCLA
Cal
Northwestern
are reaches for ALL applicants, if for no other reason than the low acceptance rates.
I understand the point about context, but is still unfair to use a word like “failure” in this situation. Yes, maybe the OP son did not end up where they wanted or where he could have been admitted, had he dotted all the i’s and all the stars aligned.
So “disappointed” perhaps. But the word failure has objective meanings to it. It is extremely irritating to read it in this instance when there are so many other parents dealing with much, much worse situations.
@econdude - I’m not sure how holistic admissions sank this kid’s UCLA app. He has a great profile of ECs but he also has a strong, but not stratospheric GPA. If he were judged only by his GPA and first set of test scores (objective assessment) you certainly can’t blame a few admissions misses on the athletes and minorities. Then, who knows . . . maybe the young, stubborn, immature, know-it-all kid who his mom describes came out in the essays.
The only fail I see here is the failure of some parents and student to grasp that there are a lot of hard working, smart, interesting, talented kids in the world and they can’t all go to Stanford.
Sum of the mean SAT section scores for Harker is 2182 - not exactly 2300+. (2182 is by coincidence the sum of the mean SAT section scores of Thomas Jefferson High School of Science and Technology)
That said, what’s your point? That the parent did fail? That her child is an average student? That’s the message you want to give the OP?
@SlackerMomMD - my point was that averages are different and significantly higher in some elite prep schools.I don’t know where an “average” kid from such a high school goes to college.
@saintfan - The OP’s son had a weighted GPA of 4.15, not sure if this was UC-weighted or not, but unhooked applicants need a lot higher than that to get into UCLA, even with 2300+ SAT. From anecdotal evidence at our school, UCs admissions are very numeric for unhooked applicants. At highly ranked privates, you have to be above a GPA threshold to be considered. SAT is almost always given lower priority than GPA (4 years, not 4 hours, etc. etc.).
Hooked applicants of any kind have stats all over the place. I am not saying they don’t deserve it, just saying what it takes for an unhooked applicant to get into these top ranked school these days.
I totally agree. That’s why I suggested the word disappointed. Failure implies that something you did caused the child to have problems of a catastrophic measure.
With 2 in college, I have found the admission decisions make very little sense. My DD had scores like your son’s, and is young for her class too. Attended a selective magnet program for high school. Found out - too late to make much difference - that her counselor had Alzheimer’s Disease. One of her friends (same counselor) did not get accepted anywhere! You really can’t take it personally.
Look, @econodude, this isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve been through this with an IB diploma 4.6 gpa kid (who didn’t get into Stanford either) from a “highly ranked” magnet. The take-away is that you just have to get over yourself a bit and look deeper beyond numbers and prestige and whatnot. Weighted 4.1 and a million APs say B student more often than not. There are many many highly ranked students in highly ranked schools who do cool things.
@rosebudrc,
I have not read the intervening posts.
Cyber hugs to you!! I would be feeling the exact same way if it were my kiddo. It’s so hard to know exactly how much and how hard to battle with your kiddo, especially if you know that it would be “good for them” vs “them wanting to take ownership of it themselves.” If it is any consolation for you, I chose to battle with my kid over college apps, which definitely strained our relationship for awhile afterwards. And of course, kid will find something else to try to blame me for. So you could’ve battled, and the results might have been the same. As a side note, how could he forget to send his new scores to only CMU and JHU; wouldn’t he forget to send them to all of his colleges?
The rejection is particularly difficult when kid is at top of class (huge fish), and is used to always winning. But then goes into competition with an ocean of huge fish and is surprised that outcomes are different with this ocean of huge fish cohort. Many always-number-one kiddos at top colleges get depressed when they arrive and end up being in the bottom half of the class. It’s a paradigm shift for sure both for applications and for attending elite colleges.
Putting the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve behind you, he and GC should double their efforts to try to get accepted from the wait lists. He would send his new SAT scores. He would ask his GC to call the Adcom at each college to verbally sell or promote any new info, or send in a letter at the minimum. He should also send in a letter discussing accomplishments since mid year, and what things that he can offer to each college. Get them in ASAP, so that everything is in the file when they start re-reviewing them after 5/1 for taking off the wait list.
Best of luck to you both!!
Edited to add: Engineering admit at both Cal and UCLA is extremely tough. Ave admitted UCGPAs are probably above 4.0 for both UCs. That being said, did he calculate his UC GPA correctly?? It’s a self calculation with a ton of rules. Double check that. I believe that ave UCGPA for admission to UCLA, ALL MAJORS, last year was 4.29.
OP mentioned applying to an unspecified type of engineering. UCLA’s engineering division is more selective than its letters and science division. An unweighted HS GPA of 3.75 would not be very competitive in that context (and UCs tend to weight HS grades more than test scores).
On the UC application, students enter their courses and grades, then the computer calculates the GPAs used. The most commonly referred to HS GPA for UC purposes uses 10th-11th grade a-g course grades, with up to 8 semesters of +1 honors points (note that many HS honors courses are not listed as such for UC purposes, and OOS applicants can only use AP courses as honors courses). But there are also other GPAs shown to admission readers, including unweighted and weighted without the 8 semester limit.
The most common type of HS GPA for UC purposes tends to be about 0.3 to 0.4 higher than the unweighted 10th-11th grade a-g course GPA, if the student has taken lots of honors or AP courses.
Life is full of rejection and regret. These are just life lessons, don’t beat yourself up. Some humility isn’t a bad thing. He will get over it and move on and have a great experience. He’ll be better from learning from his “sloppiness”.
OP, I feel for you. Many of us have been through the mill with extremely bright, headstrong sons who don’t get that yes, they DO have to sweat the details, and everything cannot always be pulled out at the last minute. It starts years before the college admissions process. It can be monumentally frustrating to see them messing up, and monumentally difficult to judge when to step in and when to let things fall as they may. BTDT myself.
But your S has some really great choices, even if he doesn’t get in off the waitlists, so although he has suffered a blow to his pride, he will be fine. And, believe it or not, he WILL mature. It will probably take several years, but eventually he will get his act together and take charge of himself. BTDT also.
It will probably take several years, but eventually he will get his act together and take charge of himself. BTDT also.