<p>I’m 24, just completed a masters degree and will soon be starting a PhD program in another state. I’m currently single and starting to feel like an old maid as my friends are getting married or seemingly all in long-term relationships. I didn’t really date in high school or college–although I had a few “romantic” (i.e., not just friends) dates for dances and parties–mostly out of lack of time and available guys to whom I was attracted. I went on some dates last year and was in somewhat serious relationship with a guy for a few months last spring and summer (it was good while it lasted, but I have few regrets about it ending, to be honest). I went on a few dates this year but held back on pursuing real “relationships,” as I knew I would likely be moving across the country after this summer.</p>
<p>The place where I’m moving doesn’t have the world’s biggest bachelor pool, either, but then again, I remind myself that it only takes one “Mr. Right.” ;)</p>
<p>I guess I’m looking for some reassurance that it’s possible to find love at and after 24. (sounds illogical, I know, but it seriously feels like most everyone I know is already paired off and).</p>
<p>You will be glad you didn’t settle before you met the right guy.<br>
The key after this move is to not sit at home. Have you considered online dating sites? I have one friend who found an amazing guy on Jdate (they are both Jewish) and another married a guy from Match.</p>
<p>The term old maid is old. I predict with this new generation where people are living longer, most people will be married 2-3 times by the time they get really old. My daughter’s housemate went online dating sites as recent as a new graduate and started dating a few guys. You might want to try that.</p>
<p>I’ve done the online dating thing and gotten some nice dates out of it, including second dates. I will probably do it again in NewCity, although the most serious dating/relationships I’ve had have been with people I met through other means (I’m active in a male-heavy sport and met some great guys through it–including one that makes moving sort of sad).</p>
<p>People often think finding the right significant other should just happen naturally, not to look too hard or be too anxious. But we don’t feel the same about looking for a job, we think we need to actively look for a job. 24 is not too old or too late, but I think it would be good if you could find some time to find Mr. Right.</p>
<p>See if your town has your school alumni association, sign up for it and show up for some activities. Let people know that you are open to dating, so they could introduce you to their friends.</p>
<p>Our S is 24 & hasn’t had much serious dating thus far in his life as he’s been too busy with school & starting his career. D is similar. They did go on a trip out of country together & had a nice time establishing relationships with others–S had a brief summer romance as well. Otherwise, neither they nor we are too concerned that they are putting their academics and careers first & will pursue relationships in due course. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to be engaged in academics and you WILL meet other young folks while pursuing this & other interests you like.</p>
<p>Please don’t feel rushed. You have loads of time to find the right person for you. Twenty-four is so young and this should be the time when you’re out there having fun and meeting lots of new people. I know this will sound cliche, but the right one usually comes along when you’re least expecting it.</p>
<p>I don’t quite understand the concept of putting one thing ahead of something else, may it be a relationship or a job. It is possible to have a balanced life, but it does take some effort to carve out time for both.</p>
<p>You’ll be in a college town, which means a lot of people your age, and you’ll be in a program with others your age. Make an effort to be a part of the social life in your department, make some new friends, and things will fall into place. I think 24 is a great age to be single, but looking, and enjoy the journey! You are definitely not an old maid!</p>
<p>If I had to live my life over again, I would worry a lot less about getting married. I got married a week before turning 25 and had babies at 32 and 35. I don’t regret getting married, but I think I would have had more girl friends had I cared less about getting married.</p>
<p>Anyway, I have a niece who will finish school to be a physician’s assistant in December. She will be 29. It’s okay to wait to get married. Enjoy these years. Don’t cave in thinking you should be getting married.</p>
<p>If you are in a college town working on a PhD, I don’t think you’ll have any problems meeting new guys. It doesn’t get harder once you are in the work place. When you find Mr. Right you’ll know. I’d just caution you not to worry to much about being separated. DH and I met in college and spent four years on opposite coasts before we were able to get back together. We’ll have been married 28 years come this August.</p>
<p>Where will you be living while in grad school? I met Happydad because his room was next to the kitchen in our grad student residence hall. One of his labmates met his wife in that same residence several years earlier. My grad school BFF met her husband at a Catholic grad students picnic. Keep your eyes open, be sociable, and stay as un-desperate as you can, there will be guys to meet.</p>
<p>I remember being 24 and feeling impending old maid status bearing down on me. I went to grad school in part because I’d decided to make a career instead. Met Happydad at 28, got married at 31. Hang in there. You still have time.</p>
<p>I have a D, an S and 4 nieces close to your age (from a couple of years younger to a couple of years older) and only 1 is in a serious relationship. Two aren’t dating-have rarely dated-at all, and the rest just go with the flow. Maybe you’re from an area where 24 is considered “old” to get married but that’s not the vibe I get at ALL from the young people I know. Just do what you do and you’ll meet people. If you want, try internet dating-that’s how I met my H.</p>
<p>H was single at 36 when we met and I was 40. I’d been married before and he almost got there but what we’d both realized by then is that you can’t force the right person to come along. Whether you create dates from a website or just meet people the old-fashioned way, the true test is compatibility, and just letting time take its course. At 24 you have YEARS to even figure out who you are, still. Finding “the one” might take longer still.</p>
<p>If I’ve learned anything it’s that knowing yourself is far, far more important that WHEN, or IF you get married. Once you do that (and 24 is young to really know), the rest will follow.</p>
<p>A lot of people I know met spouses through church, volunteer organizations, roommates & their friends, and on-line. Average age for marriage has been going up–I think it’s around 26-27 for women and 28-29 for men. You have plenty of time. . . just get involved in activities you enjoy and see what happens.</p>
<p>There are worse things than being single. Being married to the wrong person, for instance. I was turning 30 and desperately wanted to be married, so I ignored about a million red flags and married someone I’d known for less than a year. He turned out to be verbally and physically abusive–needless to say, we’re no longer married.</p>
<p>Math mom, what were your secrets for staying in touch over 4 years long distance relationship?my son is facing this now, and feels awful. He has thought of transferring schools to be nearer her in her post-doc work.</p>
<p>As lonely as son felt when he began grad school, those awful feelings have returned with the soon departure. Of his loved one.</p>
<p>It also assumes that the individual in question AND his/her SO are able to not only come to a balance, but also work around unavoidable difficulties. This includes having to relocate to the other side of the country/world for university/work and/or having the other SO be very understanding if university/work takes up a substantial amount of time. </p>
<p>Some older cousins and HS/college classmates had issues where their SOs were so needy and/or immature to the point they were actually undermining their morale in terms of being able to do graduate work/be a professional working far away in a job requiring long hours/periods of no contact. </p>
<p>Ones who realized having such needy/immature SOs was bad ended their relationships and after a period…found more suitable SOs/spouses. Ones who didn’t ended up in miserable relationships…including some marriages ending in divorces or broke up anyways with the loss of their graduate program or career.</p>
<p>I’m 27 and am pretty much the only person in my circle to be married. Most of my friends are not in relationships, serious or otherwise.</p>
<p>Last year my ILs went to the wedding of a couple in their 60s, who had dated when they were young then fell out of contact when they moved to different sides of the country. They reconnected a couple of years ago and got back together. First marriage for both. You have tons of time :)</p>
(sounds illogical, I know, but it seriously feels like most everyone I know is already paired off and).</p>
I will probably do it again in NewCity, although the most serious dating/relationships I’ve had have been with people I met through other means (I’m active in a male-heavy sport and met some great guys through it–including one that makes moving sort of sad).</p>