Feeling mildly depressed lately in high school

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

I don’t know if this is really the best place to talk about this… But i’ll go ahead and say so anyways.

Since I started 10th grade, I felt perfectly fine. I was looking forward to several stuff and I wasn’t feeling anything abnormal. However lately, I’ve noticed I’ve been feeling very strange lately.

I would say it started one night when I felt emotionless and could barely concentrate on anything, and my brain felt a little like mush. I thought I would just sleep and wake up fine, but then this issue became long-term.
Lately I’ve been feeling very emotionless at times, like I’m just going through high school life and not feeling anything. Other times, I have felt somewhat sad, isolated, lonely, etc, and I get occasional mood swings if I do feel any weak emotions.

Socially, I just don’t feel the same “satisfaction” after talking to people. I never was satisfied with my social life given how clique-ish my school is, and how I have very few “close friends,” or how I just couldn’t fit into any clique given how I was always the odd one out, but there were still people I trusted who I could talk to. I mean I never felt like I had too many good friends in high school, but I still felt plenty of social satisfaction from having a lot of “far friends.” I basically just felt like the “cool odd one out.”

Now, I just don’t feel as much of an urge to talk to people, I feel more introverted. Yet at the same time, I feel somewhat lonely by not socializing that much lately.

And my state of not feeling anything has just happened so many times, my emotions/feelings just feel really weak. Occasionally I have felt a little sad. However, the thing is that I barely show any signs of it. I don’t feel any suicidal thoughts or irritability, at all. I don’t feel the need to curl up and withdraw away from society either like many depressed people do. I could go through everyday high school life normally, and the only difference people would notice is that I am just socializing a little less than normal. I feel like I could still accomplish plenty and be competitive to have a shot into ivy league level colleges. Yet, I also feel like I have a little less energy.

I don’t know the cause of this, it’s just “happened.” The only thing I can think of is not having enough sleep, but I recall going through some times last year with having little sleep. Usually I would just binge drink my sleeplessness away with coffee, and feel just fine. But it isn’t the same now.

I will try to get more sleep now, but I have no idea if that is the cause.

What should I do here?

also i’m sorry for the long post and crappy grammar, I just felt rushed to write this.

2

Honestly, you say you don’t go through the exact experience you think depressed people do…but it always starts small. It’s not like one day you just wake up depressed. It begins with a little less energy, less social interest… But it can get bad fast. Slowly and then all at once is how depression is described to creep up on people. However, don’t feel alone. Even if you are suffering with mild depression, I’d say at least half of your classmates probably are as well, which is horrible in and of itself as well as the easy way he hide it.

I know it’s not ideal but if you start to feel really sad (or self-loathing), try to see if you can talk to your counselor. Or if you don’t want to initiate things, have your parents or friend tell the counselors they think you want to talk to someone.

3

I would encourage you to look at the NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) website - they have a section for teens and young adults. http://www.nami.org/Find-Support/Teens-and-Young-Adults

It’s an excellent organization, and they can give you ideas as to what you can do. They have a help line, which is NOT a crisis line, but just someone who you can talk to.

I’m glad you posted here. Let us know how it goes.

4

I felt this exact way in 10th grade. Granted, I had gone through a “break up” (didn’t actually date but ended the relationship) and that had an impact on me, but that wasn’t the reason that I felt like that, it was something internal that I still can’t explain. I really felt emotionless and aimless, and I developed chronic insomnia (which I still deal with). Last year, the feelings of sadness and emotionlessness slowly came to a halt because I started talking to a guy, and this March we started dating. During March/April/May/June/part of July I felt amazing and I felt like myself. I don’t know if it was all of the euphoria but it really felt great. At the end of July I was sadly broken up with (he was going off to college, it’s a long story). I went through the normal period of sadness and mourning. However, now I have just started to feel emotionless again. I have lost interest in all of the things that I used to do and I have indulged myself into my schoolwork to distract myself. I don’t have any interest in hanging out with people or really talking anymore. The insomnia is still going strong, and I’m just looking forward to college next year.

What I’m trying to say is that you can find comfort in the fact that you aren’t alone. 10th grade is an odd year-- you haven’t really just started HS yet you aren’t really close to finishing. I haven’t found anything that cures the feeling except for taking the small things that make you even the slightest bit happy and really glorifying them.
If you think that you are starting to develop a mental illness (as I am starting to think that I am…), please visit a professional. I think that next time I’m at the doctor I will ask about my situation and recommend that you should, too.