<p>Yesterday I ran into an older child’s classmate ,whom I knew had married a couple of years ago .She was with her mom ,and had a sweet little BABY ,like 2 weeks old .This is the first child I have seen had by a friend of one of my kids -I was so jealous ,and a bit hit with the fact that I could be a grandma by now ! Last week at the doctor ,I was told I have some ARTHRITIS in my shoulder .Thought I should start a thread about feeling older .Being a grandma at 57 would be fine by me !</p>
<p>Positively antique.</p>
<p>I had a very different reaction when I had lunch with a friend who is now a grandmother – her 21 y.o. son just had a baby with his 18 y.o. girlfriend.</p>
<p>No baby envy there at all.</p>
<p>One of my son’s former teammates is playing in the Superbowl this weekend.
Not only do I feel old, but spectacularly unaccomplished!</p>
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<p>That’s so cool. On the local news they ran a story about two women who work in the same office (about 10 miles from Cowboys stadium) - one has a son who is a rookie Packer and the other has a son who is a rookie Steeler.</p>
<p>No babies here, thank goodness. Too early for them. However, when I asked my orthopedist as he was drining fluid off my knee last month, just how I could hae arthritis, he said I was “on the dark side of 50.” Rather ominous, I thought…</p>
<p>When my mom was 57, my kids were 9 & 1.
I have a friend about 10 years younger than myself ( I’m 53), who has two grandkids- but while I would love them some day, I am not in any hurry.
( on the other hand, since I have arthritis, osteoporosis & fibromyalgia, it would be nice to have them while I can still get down on the ground!)</p>
<p>My in-laws were glad to see and be able to interact with our kiddos while they were aboveground, especially since H got married to me later in life (they had despaired of him ever finding the perfect mate). We were told by my OB/GYN that we had to have kids immediately or never, so our 1st the year arrived the year after we were married & the 2nd two years and 5 days later. Our kiddos are in no rush to have serious relationships. Both had summer romances while they toured Taiwan in a study group with dozens of other young adults but not much since. Both want to concentrate on school & establishing their careers (no argument here).</p>
<p>I only want our grandkids when OUR KIDS are in happy, stable relationships and ready for them. Until then, I’m happy to play the doting aunt. </p>
<p>Went to a retirement seminar yesterday at CSchwab. I was one of the 3 younger folks attending (H is retiring SOON). Several there were already retired. One tip they had was to take out a HELOC now, while we still have high income, so I went to the bank where we have our mortgage & applied. It’s TOTALLY FREE–application, all closing costs, etc. There is NO obligation to do anything either and no annual fee & the credit limit is six figures. There is a $500 fee if you pay off whatever you borrow in less than 3 years and 1% interest for the first year on whatever you borrow (could be useful as practically interest free loan on a car or whatever, so long as you pay off most of it at the end of year 1). I have to look into whatever pre-payment penalties there might be–didn’t notice any when browsing through the docs they gave me.</p>
<p>The bank said to think of it like “a huge credit card.” I think of it as supplemental insurance that we COULD draw on if something amazing and catastrophic happened to occur that we couldn’t absorb in the near future.</p>
<p>Sorry for the tangent, just found it very interesting. We did have an unused free HELOC once many years back that we never used back then either. We finally closed it when we refinanced because the lender insisted. Had to pay $50 or something to close the HELOC.</p>
<p>Back to babies–I am sad for my friends who are having to raise their grandkid because their adopted D continues to struggle with addictions and is not fit to raise her child. I feel for them and our neighbors who are in similar situation. Tough for everyone. Love is great, but stability and no addictions is so helpful for families.</p>
<p>Several times I’ve been mistaken for my youngest two Ds’ grandma. C’mon. I’m still in my 40s–late 40’s. One D–3rd grader-- doesn’t want me to volunteer for anything at the elementary school–she doesn’t want the other kids to see how old I am. A couple years ago she polled her classmates on their moms’ ages and let me know that I was
“the oldest mom in 1st grade.” (This year, I’m the oldest mom in kindergarten. . . is there be a prize for that?) D is always telling me to dye my hair, (still holding out on that, but starting to weaken) or get this or that wrinkle treatment that she saw on a TV commercial. . .Sheesh.</p>
<p>Quite a few of my oldest kids’ (early 20s) friends are married with babies. I would recommend having kids in your 20s (rather than late 30s, 40s). My joints are bad. I don’t want to play in the snow, go roller skating, etc. anymore. I’m sick of times tables flashcards (boy, do I know my times tables) Half the time, the tooth fairy forgets to deliver. . .Old moms are no fun!</p>
<p>I do hope for grandchildren before I’m 60.</p>
<p>I’ll be 60 next month. It’s hard for me to believe, as I remember when my grandmother was in her 60s. None of my kids’ friends in their 20s have babies yet, and only a few are married. Most seem to be taking their time in growing up.
I’m doing everything I can think of to ward off feeling old, but it does creep up on you. I’m finding an intense exercise program for flexibility and strength is really helping me with that.
I haven’t succumbed to the hair dye thing yet, though. I find when I wear a pony tail, the gray doesn’t show as much. ;)</p>
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<p>midwesterner, get yourself over to the bragging thread. You’ll discover just how accomplished you really are!!</p>
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Some HELOCs have a limited amount of time you can draw from them - I’ve had them with 10 year draws, and some as low as 5 years. Make sure you dig that out of the fine print.</p>
<p>The HELOC is for 10 year draw (tho honestly we NEVER plan to use it, but heck, it was free so I let them process our info because I didn’t see any harm & it could be useful to have in our back pocket, “just in case”). Have already learned that I never know what the future will bring. I WILL read the fine print, I promise, BEFORE I ever use it, IF I ever do. It seems the guy who was signing me up for it was thrilled to have me as a customer.</p>
<p>I can’t decide whether I feel young or old. Hubby’s friends are all retired, the staff I hire ranges from 20s, 30s & 60s, with the public we serve ranging from young adults through centarians. I told H that marrying him, I’ll always feel “young,” since I’ll always be much younger than him. :)</p>
<p>D was always indignant when people mistook H for a grandpa and said, “Don’t they know you’ve had white hair since you were 18?” No one can believe H’s true age & think he’s much younger than he is anyway, tho we did start our family when he had a few decades into his career.</p>
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<p>We are younger than our grandmothers were at our age. Seriously. My grandmothers were old ladies at 60. Raising a family in the depression, poor nutition, second hand smoke, little to no health care.</p>
<p>I shudder to think how gray I must be. My roots are getting whiter and whiter. I touch up a lot!</p>
<p>54 and quite grey but feel pretty good.</p>
<p>24 and 21 year old ‘kids’…I will enjoy grandchildren someday, not soon I hope.</p>
<p>I’m 41, which doesn’t feel old to me at all, and my only child is a freshman in college, which does make me feel a bit older. </p>
<p>I very much want to be a grandma but since my son is gay, well, it’s going to be awhile. Let’s face it, the odds of him going out, getting drunk and hiring a surrogate or adopting are really slim.</p>
<p>The other night, we had a dinner with extended family. Mom & dad are in their 80s but in MUCH better shape that the relatives & friends who are “peers,” who regularly need & take meds at every meal. They are also in much better shape then my cousin (mom’s niece), who just turned 70 & is limping and aging very ungracefully. H is just slightly younger than my cousin but he’s more my peer than cousin’s. Much depends on how healthfully we’ve lived our lives. My grandmothers were pretty healthy until shortly before they died. My dad’s mom died at 90 & was walking regularly for about an hour/day until the month before her death. </p>
<p>Dad still goes to the office M-F @ 6:30 because he WANTS to, golfs regularly, and does pretty much what he wants. He sees the doc annually and has NO significant health issues. Mom also walks an hour every morning, goes to exercise class 3x/week and golfs 3-4x/week. She also sees the doc annually and has no significant health issues. Neither take any regular meds and both are quite fit and travel as often as they’re interested.</p>
<p>Neither H nor I have any interest in coloring our hair, though many of my sibs & in-laws do. Personally, it’s never appealed to me, tho H considered trying it for Halloween but decided against it because both S & I would be out of town at the time.</p>
<p>I’ve been trying to pimp out DS for a long prime time.
The moms and daughters have constantly been disqualifing themselves.</p>
<p>We figure that its going to another 5 before he finds a steady, + 5 to get married, + 5 for the gal to look at her clock. All assuming that all is right the first time. </p>
<p>Its to the point where I got POLST forms for DW and myself today,</p>
<p>@pugmadkate --me too. Although my 18 year old gay son has said recently (honestly, to my amazement) that there are lots of babies in the world that need loving parents and one day he might like to be such a parent, especially if he can fulfull that responsibility with a loving partner. Hurray!!!</p>
<p>^^</p>
<p>Hopefully, he’ll be able to marry that loving partner by then!</p>
<p>The gray hairs didn’t bother me. And when one of D’s elementary school friends had a baby at age 17, that made me feel grateful for D’s choices, but not old. What did it for me was the realization that I’m older than all of my doctors. And my dentist. And my vet. And the President of the United States.</p>