<p>Someone mentioned that the white coat ceremony is a tradition of about 20 years. OP said sister was a doctor herself. Maybe sis just doesn’t think it’s a big deal if she herself never had one.</p>
<p>(Quite frankly, the only other white coat ceremony I’ve heard about was from that picture of the Craigslist killer guy.)</p>
<p>Whatever happen to him? Do you know? What a strange case.</p>
<p>Iglooo, he committed suicide in jail.</p>
<p>I have a friend whose son had a white coat ceremony at The Ohio State University 
last year. She and her husband went. Siblings, in-laws, aunts and uncles did not.</p>
<p>I think as most people age and mature they do pare down their close inner circle of friends. In my younger years I was foot loose and fancy free. I didn’t look too deeply into things involving the social aspects of my life. If I was slighted I don’t think I would have even noticed. But things change when you get married and have children. There is more of an “accepted practices” filter that governs your social life. It is a give and take sort of thing.</p>
<p>I have had to distance myself from more than one friend. One was just generally unsupportive and often made it a point to critique me when we were together. Others noticed it as well and the constant subtle insults began to irritate me. She was generally unhappy with the way her life was unfolding, and she needed someone to take that out on. I no longer spend any time with her and she seems to have drifted away from my group of friends. The other was a friend who I confided in and she broke the confidence by broadcasting a personal matter to the rest of my social circle. That one was a hard one for me to come to terms with as we had been very close friends. Still see each other on occasion since we have many mutual friends, but she knows not to count herself among my close friends. I keep my distance and that feels right to me.</p>
<p>“Someone mentioned that the white coat ceremony is a tradition of about 20 years. OP said sister was a doctor herself. Maybe sis just doesn’t think it’s a big deal if she herself never had one.”</p>
<p>Sample of one so take that for what it’s worth - I think that’s how my husband would feel, never having had such a tradition himself. I can’t imagine him making an effort to attend one unless it were local. </p>
<p>I wonder if Tatin wishes / hopes that the sister and the daughter would have a special bond because of both being doctors, and this feels like a bigger “slap in the face” than if the sister were in some other profession?</p>
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<p>Possibly that and the understandable anger from being “flaked on” considering her sister promised to attend until she changed her mind at the last minute as seen here:</p>
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<p>I said earlier that I think the bond going forward, during four+ tough years, maybe mentoring or offering opportunities, etc, is far more important than the ceremony marking the beginning of med school. If it were three years from now and the sister doc had been totally hands off, sure, I’d be aggravated and confused.</p>
<p>I wonder, just musing, if like lawyers, established medical professionals are at the point of feeling that it’s perhaps not the right choice (anymore) and that things have changed and if that effects one’s enthusiasm for such celebrations. </p>
<p>@MaineLonghorn, that is truly awful. </p>
<p>Hey Tatin,</p>
<p>When did you find out and tell your sister the exact date of the white coat ceremony? </p>
<p>Mid-May, sax.</p>
<p>So far, I’m handling it this way. I’ve emailed the finalized plans to my parents (dad is going to go, mom is 96 and in assisted living and too feeble to go). I cc’d sister. I gushed over how much fun our little family group would have together. Maybe she will change her mind (again). </p>
<p>Awesome way to handle it.</p>
<p>But she might also take the gushing email as prodding and dig her heels in. If you really cannot reconcile her absence, why not just flat out ask her to reconsider telling her how much it would mean to you? I guess I just like a direct approach. No guessing after a direct question is answered.</p>
<p>And when did she firmly commit to attending this (said that she was definitely coming) and what excuse did she give when she changed her mind? I agree with HarvestMoon1-the direct approach may be best. That is great your dad can come . If your mother is 96, I’m guessing your dad must be up there in age as well. </p>
<p>At this point, why not wait and see what response OP gets. </p>
<p>That’s certainly an option, lookingforward. But it does sound like the OP just CC’ed the sister with the plans and did not really ask for any response from her? The sister may think no response is required if she has already said she’s not coming. Or the only type of response could be something like-Your plans sound great. I hope you have a great time. Sorry I can’t be there. </p>
<p>“Possibly that and the understandable anger from being “flaked on” considering her sister promised to attend until she changed her mind at the last minute as seen here”</p>
<p>People’s lives and plans change, cobrat. That is life sometimes. </p>
<p>How nice that your dad can be there. </p>
<p>Is it possible to record the WC ceremony and watch it all together at the next visit? Or maybe the school does a recording. We just watched 2014 graduation on youtube for DS’s school. Now we know what to expect next May. </p>