<p>“So if a culture decides that it’s always sinful to be sexually active and always moral to be celibate”</p>
<p>I dont think there has been a time in the last 2000 years when any christian of note has said that its moral to denounce christ, as long as you are celibate. So I think its “always sinful to be X and always moral to be Y” is a red herring. Absolute morality has standards on a given issue of what is wrong, but still requires you to be right on everything else.</p>
<p>That is not about ambiguity or situational ethics, but simply about the moral standard having multiple criteria - the only problem is when they conflict - the classic situational ethics problems are things like lying for the social good - Kant vs Strauss, lets say. Is it worth pretending chemical weapons are present where they are not, if it helps eliminate a govt that is intolerable to its people? Note, the situational ethics response there is the “conservative” political position. I dont see how the same kind of conflict arises with celibacy - why would being celibate require one to be intolerant? </p>
<p>Note, my view of the kind of college I want for my DD is rather different from the OP’s. But if she has not displayed the most sophisticated ethical reasoning, I am not sure the snap responses to her have either.</p>
<p>As it turns out, it’s not the same school after all. I was basing it on another post I read here, thinking it was the same college. (her *other *son happens to be where my daughter is) Okay, I’ll shut up now. :)</p>
<p>**
My previous quote:</p>
<p>I also know the college the OP is referring to and it’s tame in comparison to some others I know of. If it’s the one I think it is, my daughter is a freshman there. **</p>
<p>“The 1950s are calling , they want their forum thread back”</p>
<p>I just read Washington Square by Henry James. Its not just the 1950s that would find todays sexual mores shocking (and yes, I know the victorian era was far from celibate). </p>
<p>I am not denying that some of these changes have been improvements. I just think its odd to, well, be shocked when some people want to be sheltered from certain changes.</p>
<p>Thanks, vballmom. Just read your PM. So, you have TWO in college! </p>
<p>**vballmom had said:</p>
<p>2Leashes, I didn’t mean to mislead anyone, but it’s not the college you’re thinking. However, the lack of diversity relative to the diverse population of California (and even relative to their high school) is true for both of my sons’ colleges. **</p>
<p>Look, if you want to send your child to a non-party school that is totally understandable, but take your bigotry against homosexuals elsewhere! </p>
It seems like the trend now is to very quickly point and label anyone who espouses some formerly held belief or even a valid present day concern a “xyz - ophobe”, “bigot”, what-have-you. This tendency to shut down the opposition to an idea by shouting them down doesn’t lead to open discussion or change, IMHO. OP may be a ■■■■■, but no one seems to have asked her to elaborate on her concerns or her views, or why she has them.</p>
<p>^ and people used to believe the world was flat. I guess we could call them roundaphobes. When people have no science to back up their claims–well then it is simply their opinion. Having an open discussion to try to change someone’s opinion when they refuse to look at the science is kind of futile. Even if the Bible swears the earth is flat,most people would not say that we should belief this because we have faith in GOD (so the science is wrong–or from the devil). Why would anyone want to waste time debating a person like this?</p>
<p>I certainly don’t waste my time debating a racist because frankly their logic is incorrect.</p>
<p>Here, here. I’m quite socially liberal but find it as repugnant when suppposedly tolerant and liberal people start bashing people who aren’t tolerant and liberal. Too much of a double standard for my taste.</p>
<p>I don’t think we are “bashing” people, just their views. I can understand your point about liberal viewpoints but tolerant–really? So would it be ok IYO for people to post on this forum that they are intolerant of black people? Would you just turn the other cheek or would you find it a little repugnant?</p>
<p>You will note I am not trying to find OP a college that does not embrace homosexuality. </p>
<p>However I am not finding it surprising that there exist people who want her child to be sheltered from modern views on homosexuality that are so at variance with those predominanting in most of the Western world for a couple of thousand years, and in the USA till the early 1960s or so. I mean to the point of not merely disagreeing with her, but with challenging the entire notion of “moral uprightness” esp with regard to sexuality.</p>
<p>Agreed. I’ve noticed a lot of this lately. Frankly, I don’t even bother responding in threads started by new posters with “far out” comments until I see them participate in a few exchanges. Otherwise, I generally assume it’s just another ■■■■■.</p>
<p>Really? So if a parent came looking for a college that would shield their child from Jewish students or students of color, then we should all join hands and sings songs of tolerance?</p>
<p>I think not.</p>
<p>There is no such thing as a college that “embraces homosexuality” anymore than it embraces heterosexuality. Embracing homosexuality simply means that gay and lesbian students are welcomed and that is shown through things like training the police and campus security to deal with hate crimes so that my child would not be victimized twice in one day. That’s the best I can realistically hope for my gay son. Hope that he won’t be attacked or even murdered because of his sexuality? Not realistic yet. </p>
<p>So, no, I’m going to accept the “intolerant” label because someone who wants a college that “protects” their child from being able to victimized my child is not getting a nice pat on the back and loads of help. In fact, I think this community has shown incredible tolerance in trying to help this person at all.</p>
<p>Everyone wants different things in a college experience, but I concur with gadad on his points because a big part of education and of college, is mixing with diverse people who are not all like you and that in itself is part of being educated. If you want to have your education in a bubble where you are only mixing with like-minded people, or even just of your race, religion and sexual orientation, it is not a realistic transition to the greater world one will face as an adult. There is more to college than just learning reading, writing and 'rithmetic (academics). The college experience and the rest of the student body is a huge part of becoming educated. You know, you can mix with others who are not like you and it won’t rub off on you, but your outlook will be expanded by understanding other perspectives and types of people. And that is the mission of a great number of colleges. If one really doesn’t want to mix with a variety of types, then there is a short list of colleges, perhaps religiously based ones, where one should look, and not expect that a regular college is going to have no drinking, no homosexuals, etc. And frankly, even at a religious college, I am sure there is some drinking and there are homosexuals (who may not be out of the closet).</p>
<p>LOL - I want to say upfront that this is not an excuse for the OPs choice of words and moral judgement in the original post.</p>
<p>I was recently speaking with an acquaintance of mine who had just come back from parent’s weekend at big state u. Their oldest son is a freshman. Both she and her husband met in their late teens, were commuters when they attended college, married in their senior year and have never been really exposed to dorm life, nevermind coed by room dorm lifeat big state u. </p>
<p>This couple is by no means sheltered or overly judgemental, they had expected to see partying. But what they didn’t expect was the extent of what was going on. They showed up at their son’s dorm (he was supposed to be expecting them) at 9:00AM on a Sat AM. Kids still drinking (empty vodka bottles all over the place), girls walking around on the way to the shower in towels (provocatively), the open references/posters to drug abuse (seems that there is an acid problem at this school), used condoms around the dorms and in public areas, etc. </p>
<p>So, some parents are totally shocked and caught off guard the first time they see dorm life in full swing on homecoming/Halloween/special event weekend…especially if their kid is assigned to party tower USA.</p>
<p>Hm. Well my S solved the parent shock problem. He has always had rooms on the fourth floor, no elevator, so we’ve been happy to meet him elsewhere on campus.</p>
<p>I do think it’s likely that a ■■■■■ is at work. Still, I want to say it’s not the shock that is disturbing; it’s the thread title that implies all other codes of behavior are immoral.</p>
So, you have TWO in college! </p>