<p>S will be moving into his dorm soon. I am just curious, as to how it works. Assuming we arrive first, I don’t want my son to just jump in and pick his side of the room (bed, closet etc.). How does this work? I also, don’t want to hang around for 3 hours or more, if roommate comes later in the day. How is this normally negotiated. I want him to get off on the right foot with his roommate. I understand that they may move furniture around, but clearing out closets and dressers later is a pain, so does this work? Thanks.</p>
<p>In my experience it has been first come, first served. We have been on both ends and it has been fine. The only thing I would wait on is if they have bunk beds that are staying bunked—some people have a real problem with either upper or lower. For instance oldest son’s 1st roommate was very heavy and short and couldn’t pull himself up to upper bunk.</p>
<p>Beds won’t be bunked. Really, is that how it works? If you get there first, you pick where you want to be for the whole year? Hardly seems fair to me.</p>
<p>In my son’s case it was first come first serve. Everything was pretty equal anyway, all he really got to chose was which closet to snag, they were also identical in size. The modular furniture was the same, my son just stowed his stuff in one dresser and his closet and made up a bad. There was no reason to wait for the room mate to show up, as it turns out he came about 3 hours later. Each bed was lofted in exactly the same manner, one on the right, one the left. Even the window was dead center.</p>
<p>I’m sure your son could negotiate with his roommate if it bothered one of them that immensely. The roommate WILL show up sometime that day. Your son isn’t going to get inseparably attached to his side of the room in just a couple hours. If it bothers the roommate very much, it’s simple enough to move your belongings a few feet…</p>
<p>Two kids with six move-ins to date and it has always been first come, first served. Usually the only choice is left or right. There has never been a problem and we have been on both ends, including a bunking triple situation. The kids are really pretty adaptable and if they want to move stuff around later, they will.</p>
<p>Yep, was FCFS for my D. Actually, she had to make a choice since her roommate didn’t show up until the next day. There didn’t seem to be any real advantage to the beds, furniture or closets, anyway. Everything was pretty equal.</p>
<p>Usually first come, first served. If you want to be really nice, you can wait for the roomie to show up. Understandably, you might not want to/be able to wait around all day. Soo… call up the roomie beforehand! See when he/she plans on arriving and see if you can wait. Or, ask roomie if he/she has seen a floorplan and say, “I know I’m getting there first and my mom wants to move me in immediately; let me know which side of the room you want and I’ll take the other side.”</p>
<p>I once arrived four hours earlier and had to get my stuff in - my dad was helping me - I just had (minor) surgery and couldn’t do much on my own, and my dad couldn’t wait around all day. Works out fine.</p>
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<p>It’s not fair. Which is why there was no first-come-first-served for us. Dorm move-in instructions from D’s university were clear: NO ONE was permitted to starting picking beds, drawers, and sides of the room, etc, until all roommates were present. And in fact, a major move-in day quarrel broke out in the room across the hall when the first-arriving girl (and her mother) failed to heed this rule. The argument was more between the mothers than the girls themselves, but it was still an unfortunate way to begin the whole relationship.</p>
<p>So we left D’s still-packed stuff piled in the middle of the room for a few hours until the roommate arrived in mid-afternoon. It workd out fine.</p>
<p>When my son moved into his freshman dorm, he was the first to arrive, and he took the bed and desk that he wanted – namely, the bed by the window (for maximum benefit from the fan he was going to place in the window) and the desk nearest the places where you hook up your Internet and telephone wires. He insisted on arriving as early as possible on move-in day for just this purpose (the only time in his entire life that he has voluntarily gotten out of bed earlier than necessary).</p>
<p>Did the other guy mind what my son did? I don’t know. The other guy almost never took off his headphones and rarely talked to anyone except his girlfriend. For all I know, he may have even left the headphones on during intimate encounters with said girlfriend. Eventually, my son switched rooms and moved in with a guy who played loud auto racing-style video games on his computer all day. Without headphones. I am not sure whether this was an improvement. ;)</p>
<p>At my son’s dorm, it was first come first served. One bed was lofted, the other was under it at a 90 degree angle. My son took the lower one. However, I know he would have been willing to trade had his roommate had problems with the lofted bed. As for desk and dresser, they were both the same, so it didn’t really matter.</p>
<p>My son’s really sweet roommate arrived first and took the least desireable side. My son offered to switch mid-way through the year, but they never did (too lazy).</p>
<p>The lofted bed lasted about 2 months. My son hated not really being able to hang out on his bed.</p>
<p>I am just hoping that everything is equal. I want to get S in, help him unpack and get settled. I decided that I am not going to wait. We just can’t, and there is so much to get done when we get into the dorm.</p>
<p>mortheastmom:
The good news is that us moms are usually MUCH fussier than our boys. </p>
<p>They don’t seem to care half as much as we do about dorm, shall we say, amenities. (I use that term loosely! 
)</p>
<p>weenie, he really does not care. A/C was his primary concern, and he did get into a dorm with A/C. I just don’t want him to get off to a poor start w roommate, by having chosen everything first. I hope everything will be equal, so that it won’t matter. </p>
<p>Thank you all for your input!</p>
<p>Son and roommate have been emailing room ideas, complete with
where they will place beds, electronics, etc. Have chosen a detailed one they are both happy with and has taken the stress out of that part of moving in.
Seem to have had fun with figuring the room schemes, but then these are engineering majors…</p>
<p>With my son it was first-come, first served and when we arrived the roommate was already there and had chosen what was clearly the “better” side of the room. But not exactly “better” by all that much. The roommate’s mom was there and had already gone shopping and purchased a large window fan for the room from the campus store, so I figured, you win some, you lose some. My son didn’t seem to care and got along fine with his roommie. </p>
<p>My d is going off on her own and has met her roommate already – they met online via myspace and requested that they room together – and from what I can see from pictures of the dorm rooms at her school, the furniture is identical – so I doubt that there is a better side to be had.</p>
<p>I can see it getting to be an issue with odd arrangements or with situations such as doubles-converted-into-triples … but then the real problem came with the initial room assignment, not the divvying up of resources within the room. Is it “fair” to all the other students that my daughter is assigned to the only one of four freshman dorms that has air conditioning? Is it “fair” that the rooms in the air conditioned dorms don’t have closets, but the rooms in the oldest, creakiest dorm do have generous closet space? </p>
<p>I think the kids who do best are those who don’t worry about dividing the space equally and focus instead on sharing it efficiently. Sometimes the furniture can be arranged to give them both a lot more space and convenience if they give up the notion of splitting things down the center of the room. </p>
<p>But a lot of times the rearranging of furniture and realloting of space happens after the parents are gone. I am not sure if parents really can help so much, because other factors can also be at play, some of which may only become apparent after living in the room for awhile.</p>
<p>FCFS for both S1 and S2. Like Weenie said Moms are usually fussier than the guys.</p>
<p>My son didn’t care at all - and really, the room was identical on both sides. Window in the middle. Beds lofted on each side. Not much to “fight” about.</p>
<p>Communication is key, so if you’re not sure - contact the other person to see when they are arriving. If it works out that you will be there about the same time, you could wait, or you could let them know if you are there first, you will put your stuff away.</p>
<p>" I don’t want my son to just jump in and pick his side of the room (bed, closet etc.). How does this work? I also, don’t want to hang around for 3 hours or more, if roommate comes later in the day. How is this normally negotiated. "</p>
<p>My various roommate experiences have been first come, first served, with the roommates themselves working out any other ideas. Sometimes there will be problems, but part of the college experience is learning how to work out things like this.</p>
<p>You don’t need to wait for his roomate to arrive to help them work things out any more than your parents needed to help you work out things with your neighbors when you moved into your current house or apartment.</p>
<p>In just a blink of an eye, it seems, your son has become an adult, and you no longer have to help him negotiate things with his peers in the way that you had to do when he was much younger. If there end up being problems that your S complains about, let him vent while you listen. Don’t feel it’s your job to tell him what to do. Also know that typically when college students IM or call parents, it’s to complain about something. When things are going well, however, they’re often too busy to tell us. :)</p>
<p>With the exception of the beds, furniture can be moved within the room. Beds are heavy and difficult to rearrange. I don’t go until Saturday, but my roomie has already moved in for cross country, and I told her to go ahead and pick a desk, dresser, and closet. We already decided that the beds would be bunked and I would be on the bottom and she’d be on top. We’re girls, but neither one of us seems to have a preference on set up beyond the fact that I don’t like heights, so I wanted the bottom bunk if she didn’t mind being on top, which she didn’t. We’re both open to making changes once I get there, if necessary :).</p>