<p>This will be my h’s first holiday season since he lost his dad this summer. This will also be our last holiday before hit by empty nest issues, so it is an interesting time of mixed emotions. Looking forward to s#1 coming home tomorrow, but missing fa in law and other relatives.
My thoughts are with all of you who are entering your first holiday season after the loss of a close friend/family member. Remember old traditions, but time to make new ones too.</p>
<p>I’m sorry to hear about your family’s loss. Maybe your S#1 coming home filled with stories will help it feel less empty.</p>
<p>jym626,</p>
<p>I can totally relate. My dad passed away in my home on christmas eve last year. He was sixty-five. My mom who has EOAD lives with us, and she doesn’t even remember when he died unless I remind her. But my D’s a jr. in high school and my S is a college freshman, and I know my time with them at home is very short … I have decided to enjoy the holidays. My dad would want it that way.</p>
<p>zebes</p>
<p>Luckily, the kids were small the last time we did this. So, in keeping the holidays alive for them, it helped us get through. It helps to play beautiful Holiday music, and have lots of friends and family around. </p>
<p>Best wished to all who are going through a holiday minus a loved one at the table.</p>
<p>zebes-
So sad that the holidays themselves were tainted with the loss-- right on xmas eve, and in your house no less. So sad. So difficult. I am so sorry. And early onset Alzheimers is even more tragic, IMO. Painful to watch your loved one slowly fade away.</p>
<p>ucsd<em>ucla</em>dad-
thanks for your thoughts. DS has stories of his recent breakdancing exhibition! It was a hoot! Saw some pics on the web. Can’t wait to hear more and see a live demo! </p>
<p>Karen Colleges-</p>
<p>I love the music of the holiday season- I find myself singing along with the radio But for us in particular, to play holiday music meand things like the dreidel song, and it isn’t too pretty!</p>
<p>My thoughts are with mootie at this holiday season. Hang in there.</p>
<p>jym - I know exactly how your husband feels. I lost my dad years ago, when he was only 59, right before the holidays. It was a shock to our family because he was so young and vibrant and he died during a what was supposed to be a routine angioplasty. I can only say, time is the healer of all things…but that first holiday season will definitely be filled with a lot of emotions that will need sorting. My very best to him and to you as your family learns how to celebrate and mourn at the same time. </p>
<p>[Btw…I just annoy the heck out of my family with holiday music. But I go through phases. One year I might be on a Celtic Christmas kick…the next Elvis holiday standards or Mannheim Steamroller…and then during other years I might be all about Swing and Big Band (my personal fave). Haven’t decide how I will torture them this year. I’m thinking we might have a Bluegrass Christmas. How does that sound? lol!]</p>
<p>jym,</p>
<p>I hope you have a good Thanksgiving. We are also a bit apprehensive about what the holidays will bring this year. My sister (and mentor) passed away this June (age 55) after suffering for a couple of years from a very debilitating disease. Our tradition has always been to go to her house for Thanksgiving. My immediate family is still going to her house to spend the holidays with her three children (ages 22,22, and 25) and her husband. In addition, my mother was diagnosed with (terminal) cancer in April, so it could be her last holidays. Needles to say, we are VERY Thankful for what we do have this year, and very sad for what we don’t. :(</p>
<p>My thoughts are with all of you. This is my first holiday season since my dad passed and this came up just yesterday. zoosergirl wants to put up the tree and decorate this weekend since she’s home, but we’re all trying to decide if we should scale back this year.</p>
<p>jym- My wife’s father passed away on December 6th, 30 years ago now. He loved the Christmas season, and it left a big hole for her. It took her a good seven years before the holidays began to again be festive for her.</p>
<p>My mother passed very suddenly 8 years ago this month; today is the anniversary. My father was a basket case that year and for the year after. I thank the gods for “widow neighbors”, as he’s done a 360 since this wonderful lady has come into his life.</p>
<p>The best you can do is to offer support, be there, and remind him to remember the fun things, the little things. Time heals all wounds.</p>
<p>No one dies if their actions live forever in the hearts and minds of others.</p>
<p>My father died at age 59 on Thanksgiving Day (20+ years ago). Those first couple of holidays were very difficult. The first whole year after a loss–all those occasions when it’s so clear there’s an empty space at the table and in your heart–is an emotional challenge. It helped me and my siblings a lot to remember that TG was my dad’s absolute favorite holiday: loved to cook, loved to have his family together, loved inviting stray friends who weren’t going anywhere to join us. We know he would want us to re-create that feeling (he’d be irritated if we didn’t!). Time really does help you heal, even though it may be hard to believe that this year when your sadness is on the surface. Hang in there, and do what feels right for you and your family.</p>
<p>My brother just passed away in the last few weeks of a heart attack. He died suddenly while talking/joking with his wife. At least he was not suffering. I’m also worried how his wife and his kids will go through this holiday.</p>
<p>Yes, I have a friend who will be spending the first thanksgiving after the loss of a 7 year old daughter, it kills me inside to think about it, let alone think how the family must feel.</p>
<p>My dad passed away at age 62 about 6 years ago. I too can remember that feeling of having to get through all of the ‘firsts’ Thanksgiving, Christmas, his birthday and then the anniversary of his death. Each time that day ended I just remembered thinking ok we made it through it. Each year it gets a little better and now we all recount those endless stories and happy times when we were all together. Hang in there.</p>
<p>My grandpa passed away last Thursday morning…it’s going to be so hard. Not even because we usually spend it with him (they’re 7-8 hours away), just knowing that he’s gone.</p>
<p>It’ll be nice to keep myself busy…I have a ton of schoolwork to do over the break.</p>
<p>So many losses here. My sympathies to all of you, especially those with losses in recent days and weeks. Not to minimize others… I just know the newness of this loss at the holiday season is particularly hard.</p>
<p>It wasn’t the Thanksgiving or Christmas holidays after my Dad died that were rough. It was Father’s Day. My first Father’s Day with no father was melancholy.</p>
<p>^^^^ Yes, agreed coureur. My first “no mother”'s day was hard. Not buying/sending her a card was harder. So is her birthday, which is in a few weeks.</p>
<p>My Mom died 4 years ago on Dec. 18 and was buried on Dec. 20. I returned to our home on the 21st. I felt like a sleepwalker that Christmas…going through the motions but not really in touch with any of it. Going to church on Christmas Eve was especially tough. I do remember singing “Hark the Herald, Angels Sing” and thinking “Wow, Mom is singing with the Angels this Christmas”. I have tried to remind myself of that every Christmas since then.</p>
<p>Beautiful thought, Packmom.
My sister lost her truly beloved, larger than life husband in late September. He died very prematurely of ALS and in fact, passed away on the day of the huge walkathon. His sons were organizing it, and they carried on that day - just as he would have wanted them to.
Well, my sister has always had Thanksgiving at her house and she, also, is carrying on as well - except she’s not going to church this year. I think that whole thing has fallen by the wayside.
I don’t think I have quite internalized the loss. I still feel his presence quite strongly and I’m not the most spiritual person in the world. Gosh, he was just such a great guy.
As an earlier poster said, so happy for what we have and so sad for what we have lost.</p>
<p>My dad was such a force, and he looked like ernest hemingway, except at christmas when he wore his Santa shirt and looked like the jolly old elf. From the time I was little he tried to get us to open a christmas present on christmas eve … he and the boys against Mom and I. We always won out; dad never got his present on christmas eve. This year when he passed christmas eve morning, my brother and I (I lost the other one 3 years ago), had our kids open present g’pa had had me purchase for them. Birthstone rings for the girls and st. thomas medals for the boys. The ol’ elf <g>; he finally got us to open a present on christmas eve.</g></p>
<p>zebes</p>