First time away for all of Chanukah!

Parent Cafe
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<p>I almost included this in the Finals package thread but Chanukah is almost upon us. Last year DS was home for the last 4 nights at least. I’m putting together a Chanukah package - this year all 8 days are over before finals even start. It’s the first time he’s away for the whole holiday and I’m not sure yet how sad I will be. Fortunately there are a couple of Hillel events so he’ll have somewhere to go - not allowed to light candles in the dorm though. He’s already called to say the school kiltie band included a Chanukah medley in their holiday concert tonight. </p>

<p>In the package I’m including 8 gifts - nothing major, a few toys, some clothes, etc. and some chocolate gelt and a few old family decorations.</p>

<p>Last year I did put together a Finals package with hot chocolate and a winter mug from home, microwave soup, crackers, Tylenol, candy, and more. Also a print-out of advice on prepping for finals, and a couple of small items from the mini-book rack at Borders - a zen sand garden (it measured about 3" by 2" with tiny rocks and a rake) and a mini-fountain (it was operated by squeezing a bulb to shoot the water). This year DH will be in town and take him shopping to stock up so I probably won’t need to send anything. Although DH is Mr. Practical so I may end up sending something stress-relieving and whimsical.</p>

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<p>Our Temple Sisterhood sends a care package to every college kid on campus IF the mom takes the moment to email their name to the organizer. They want the kids to know their home community is still thinking about them. </p>

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<p>I think the Dreidl (spinning top) was invented to fill this niche. Lightweight, fun, everybody can figure out the rules…I used to send 15 of them so kids could hand them out to others. Sometimes the Hillels make sure there’s lots around.</p>

<p>If you want to add some info they might have missed at Sunday School: dreidl’s probably were used at the time of the Bar Kochba revolt, 2,000 years ago, against Roman occupation. Torah study, which was forbidden, occurred deep inside the caves. Younger kids played a gambling game at the entry to the cave, so if a Roman soldier came by to see what was going on, they saw kids at the entry, spinning the top. A good decoy, the kids protected the elders studying seriously inside. Penalty for study of Torah was death. High stakes gambling there.</p>

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<p>My school has no Hillel so it sucks. I go to synagogue twice a week, marriage class Tuesday and Tanach class on Thursday. Any suggestions? I tried subscribing to KMTT Torah podcast but it seems like I have A.D.D. and can’t really pay attention unless I am sitting in a class. I wish somebody would give me a Dreidl, I remember playing with them in Hebrew school, taking all the kids money.</p>

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<p>What school do you attend?</p>

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<p>Do you want the peers or the family bond? I can’t provide you the peers. A family bond might be easier, given you are already are this wonderful to attend shul 4x weekly. If you were my kid, I’d say, phone the Rabbi like tomorrow and say you would love to be able to join a family in town for Chanukah, preferably with some kids of any age. Tell him it’s rough sledding without a Hillel. </p>

<p>Have you checked for a Hillel at a different college nearby? If you’re not sure how to, post again and we’ll link you up. </p>

<p>Or ask the shul secretary tomorrow for the name of the Sisterhood chair and tell her you need to be “adopted.” Also ask if they have something called a “Caring Committee” and then seek the contact info for the youngest person on that committee. </p>

<p>Often there are families whose young adult kids live far away from home. Maybe they’d have you for dinner, either Shabbat or Chanukah. They might be a bit geriatric for your taste, but if you mention your major, maybe there’s someone around who works in that field or some other kind of bond, if not age similar. </p>

<p>At least make your needs known to the people running the synagogue! Ask the rabbi (by phone or email) if there’s anyone to help you feel a bit more connected. Point out how often you go there. You’re really doing your share to be part of the community, IMHO, but maybe they assume you’re busy at school. </p>

<p>I will say that synagogues get people all the time who are emotionally hungry one week, but then when someone goes the distance to set something up, the kid begs off of it at the last minute.</p>

<p>So think first for a moment: what do you really want to happen, and then ask the rabbi if he can help you achieve it. If you really only want the peers, well, don’t trouble the elderly congregant to make you soup…but if all you need is an in-home invitation, I think you just have to SAY so. </p>

<p>Some synagogues assume college kids are “all taken care of” by their families or peers. If there’s no Hillel, they might have the expereince (as townies) that the kids in the college chose the school with little thought to Jewish living. But you’re an exception, obviously…and more power to you!</p>

<p>All I’m saying (from experience) is: if you ask for an invitation, when you get one, show up! (You can tell I’ve been stood up before with this stuff…)</p>

<p>I hope you get to spin a dreidl with a real family next week.</p>

<p>Or maybe a parent seeing this would PM you and make you a care package? </p>

<p>I’m guessing you really want peers, though; it’s natural.</p>

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<p>^^timed out,
When you want to get some organizational response from a synagogue, I find it works better to phone the shul secretary at regular office hours, where she’s at a desk with the computer list of all the members. Tomorrow’s Friday, so I guess 9:30 a.m.-1 p.m. but no later, especially if you want to reach a rabbi or other members.
Sometimes college kids “mention” things or hint during class time, but those requests don’t always get acted upon. Best to phone in. Ask to talk to the secretary, administrator or rabbi. Good luck on this aspect of it (if you choose to pursue the family bonding more, that is).</p>

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<p>Our synagogue sends the college kids a Care package with a tin menorah, dreidels, chocolate gelt, etc. All we have to do is provide the address. I think they sent about 30 this year.</p>

<p>When my boys were home for Thanksgiving I actually gave them some presents, rather than have to ship them, but I will mail something also. One is active in Hillel and the other has a lot of Jewish suitemates, so they’ll have fun amongst themselves, I’m sure.</p>

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<p>In our house, we celebrate both Hanukkah (H) and Christmas (me), so D has gotten the “best of both worlds” - LOL! I am just about ready to ship off her Hanukkah package - H picked up the last of the 8 gifts last night. Again, nothing big, but things that will she will like. I have each gift wrapped and have a number on it for Days 1-8. H and I have a bet going - he says that there in NO WAY that she won’t open them all at once when the package arrives!</p>

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<p>It’s a little early – but Happy Chanukkah to all of you.</p>

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<p>To solve the problem of no menorahs in the dorms, there are menorahs with light bulbs that you screw in instead of candles–probably available online or in your local synagogue gift shop or retail store selling Judaica if you’re in a big enough city.</p>

<p>When S was a sophomore, I was so pleased to find one which I sent to him–but I seriously doubt whether he ever used it. Oh well–maybe y’all will have better luck.</p>

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<p>allie’smom - Ours is a “mixed” household as well. We light the candles all eight nights, but only do one gift (on the small side). To top it off, DS’ birthday is the day after Xmas.</p>

<p>This year, with Chanukkah so early, I am going to do the latkes for him on his first or second night home. And I have ordered [No</a> Limit Texas Dreidel](<a href=“http://www.moderntribe.com/products/Party_Root/no_limit_texas_dreidel_standard]No”>No Limit Texas Dreidel Game - Ages 9 to 99) for his Chanukkah gift. I think he will love it, as he is a big poker fan. And I think he will win all my gelt ;).</p>

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<p>Both Party City and Target are selling the light bulb menorahs.</p>

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<p>DS is a traditionalist and sneers at the light bulb menorah (I suggested it last year so agree it’s a good idea). I do know he added one (wax) candle every night even though he couldn’t light them. I will send along a bunch of dreidels. Not sure if he will still want latkes by the time he gets home!</p>

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<p>Sure he will! Especially yours.</p>

<p>This year we have one of those early December Chanukah’s. With college years, I was always happier to see late-December dates, instead. So this year, when they come home and it’s all over, I hope they’ll have had some peer fun with a campus experience – sandwiched in between exams – but would also expect them to scarf down a repeat of any Chanukah foods.</p>

<p>Speaking of cuisine, I like to eat Chinese food with Jewish friends on December 25, and see a movie. Also a good plan: to volunteer to take over someone’s shift at a hospital so they can go home and enjoy their Christmas holiday. </p>

<p>I ask to take over a receptionist’s shift, since my ability to perform emergency surgery isn’t so good.</p>

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That’s the tradition around here, too - it’s really hard to get into the restaurants! Although, as usual, some people do that on the evening of December 24th.</p>

<p>Our local Jewish Community Center is open all day on the 25th, and non-members are welcome to attend the programs, use the gyms and pool and other facilities, so that’s well attended too.</p>

<p>We’re seeing D next Friday and bringing her 1/2 her presents. She’ll get the other 1/2 when she comes home. (Plus the latkes!)</p>

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<p>We do a movie and dinner on the 24th - over the years more and more restaurants are open. When we lived in the city we could only do Chinese. A few years ago we saw the first Lord of the Rings and then afterward our waiter was the spitting image of Frodo. In fact, when he came to the table, I exclaimed “Frodo!” (He said he got that all the time.) And it’s always interesting how full the theaters are, even though we live in a non-Jewish suburban area so you’d think they’d all be home with family. </p>

<p>The Spertus Museum in downtown Chicago always has a Family Program on the 25th but we’ve never gone since I’ve always been busy getting ready for DS’s birthday on the 26th. At least this year he doesn’t have to double-dip! But it’s tough having to do all annual present buying at this time of year - an early Chanukah forces early buying (my niece’s BD is early December and my nephew early January).</p>

<p>OK, OK, I’ll make him latkes. It seems every year I find another refinement to my recipe. If I remember correctly there was a whole thread last year on this!</p>

<p>DS has now learned that AEPi (not a member although he tried) is probably having an open house Chanukah party next weekend so there’s another activity for him in addition to Hillel.</p>

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<p>My s and his roommates make a Menorah outside their stairwell with Tiki Torches! They are all seniors. Wonder who is going to continue the tradition next year?</p>

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<p>Just to say Happy Chanukah to all! And we got a white Chanukah here in the Chicago area - :wink: Not that I was dreaming of it.</p>

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<p>I just signed up for AIM so I was at least able to wish one son Happy Hanukkah live online! :)</p>

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<p>We just got an icy Chanukah - I’d much prefer the snow, thank you! Have a happy one wherever you are!</p>