I didn’t know there was a fast version, of Bittman. Most of his recipes are already pretty pared down. In any event I think How to Cook Everything is a good basic cookbook. She’s a first year grad student, not sure what her time is like.
I might cook Indian food too, as I also cook Indian food frequently, though not as much as I used to. I wish the girl friend would cook Chinese, (she’s from Hong Kong), but I think she’s been influenced a lot by British cooking. We had Asian-ish food because we had bok choy from the CSA and there was a miso glazed salmon I wanted to try.
I wouldn’t give a cookbook unless you know she is interested in cooking. I personally would love to get the Mark Bittman book as a gift but the new girlfriend may misinterpret it as some kind of coded message, specifically, that you think she should cook for your son.
A lot depends on if she is an American of Indian origin raised in US or an Indian raised in India and came over for studies. If she is raised in US, you do not have to worry too much about food other than avoiding beef, provided she is not a vegetarian. You can find good Indian recipes at http://vahrehvah.com/. They have a video of the chef making the dish as well as written recipes. Do not worry too much if you miss one or two ingredients, most recipes turn out decent enough Its sweet of you to want to make her comfortable and anyone would appreciate the thought!
Most Indian girls tend to wear a variety of earrings/bracelets and I think would be a gift that would be used. A sweater if you know the right size sounds like a good idea too.
If they lived together, I might be more worried. When they are here they always cook together -as DH and I did when we were young, though not so much any more. She’s asked me questions about setting up a kitchen, so I don’t think she’d take it the wrong way. But I’d definitely run it by my son first. I’m not going to say, I think you should learn to cook. I’m going to say, I love this cookbook and use it all the time.
Mathmom, I wasn’t very clear; you know your son’s girlfriend and know she is interested in cooking, so the cookbook is fine. But OP has never met the young woman and knows little about her interests. In that context, I’d avoid the cookbook. Your situation is different.
Thank heavens my son brought his Hindu girlfriend to visit for the Fourth of July! The gift issues would have driven us nuts. I would go with a book my son recommended, which might possibly be a cookbook, but would definitely not be the Bittman, or Joy of Cooking, or anything remotely like that, for nottelling’s reason. (And also because we know that our son cooks for her a lot more than she for him. He likes to cook; she not so much.)
You really have to ask about dietary practices, because it isn’t one size fits all at all. S’s GF definitely eats meat, but not anything related to a cow. At her parents’ house, no animal at all is eaten, except, as a concession to American culture, they will eat eggs (here, but not when they visit India).
We did not cook Indian food for her, since she is perfectly happy to eat non-Indian food, and since her mother cooks Indian food for her a lot. That was not a competition in which we cared to engage. I do make Indian food from time to time, but I am not a SAHM who cooks nothing else and replenishes her spice chest from Gujarat a couple of times a year. She brought, from her mother – a nice gesture, since we gather that her parents hope our son is a phase their child will outgrow, and they were not thrilled about her visiting us – a mixture of spices and ground nuts, and I incorporated it into cheese blintzes one morning and a baked custard for a dessert. Which I believe was appreciated by both daughter and mother.
Since this is the first time you are meeting her, I would stay away from anything too personal, such as makeup or perfumed lotions, soaps, etc. I assume she’s college- age, so maybe a simple but cute gift like a wristlet (wallet with a band to be placed around her wrist), or the headbands that you mentioned, or a cute little bag/purse. I would stay away from preparing Indian food, and maybe stick to some of your other favorites, including some meatless options just to be safe.
OP, does “over Christmas” include Christmas morning/Christmas Eve/whenever your family opens gifts? If so, I understand you feeling the need to give her multiple presents if everyone else will be receiving multiple presents.
When my kids’ SOs visited us over winter break, we ate out a lot and I just cook the foods that my children enjoy without much fanfare. I did ask them if they had any dietary restrictions and what they wouldn’t eat.
In regards to gifts, I have given scarves and some jewelry for my son’s GF now wife because I noticed she wore them often. With D’s SO now husband, I asked my d’s opinions. I did not spend more than $100 before they married . @Mathmom, your son’s GF may be not have much cooking experience growing up. Even most middle class families in HK have live-in help who would do all the cooking. But, they’ll learn when it’s necessary.
My D who never expressed interest in cooking growing up, is a very accomplished cook and foodie now. Certainly didn’t get it from me. She never wanted cookbooks as gifts saying she could get all her recipes online. @Consolation, my MIL also gave me a pr of earrings from Lovell Designs and I wear them all the time. It’s been over 30 years.
I didn’t grow up with a lot of cooking experience either. As diplomats we always had cooks when we were overseas. I learned a bit one summer in college and the rest in grad school. I think she’ll be a fine cook soon, because both she and my son like to eat. They’ve cooked several meals for us as thank yous - we stored her stuff over the summer and then drove it all in to Manhattan. I really think she likes cooking or wants to like it! My son likes cooking desserts and had a group of friends that did a lot of cooking together one summer. She doesn’t strike me as someone likely to take offense or think I am trying to send messages, but you never know! I know I can’t get her jewelry she never wears any!
Not sure where you’re located, but if she’s not familiar with your climate, you might consider some cold weather clothes. If she were visiting us in NY, I would get fleeces, sweaters, hoodies, gloves… She may not want to invest money in a cold weather wardrobe, but she may need one for the length of her visit.
Thanks for all the great suggestions. Regarding gifts and price, I was giving my max limit. I beleive I will do a coup,e of activities, which will count as gifts but we will pay for. For example, we can gift them show tickets, or tickets to other attractions that cost money, so they don’t have to pay for them. I may give her or them a GC to a restaurant so they can use it while she’s here. Even a trip to the movies with popcorn and drinks is $50. In reality, I would pay for these things anyway, because they are college students. She is from Singapore, but spent a semester here for school, so she does have appropriate clothing.
She will be here for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, and we usually have lots of gifts for each child (We are trying to cut back, and this may help us). I don’t want her sitting around with nothing to open while everyone else has several gifts.
I am pretty sure she eats meat except beef, but I will get clarification from my son. We can certainly do pizza, and we will likely eat out at least a couple of times. It sounds like food shouldn’t be a big issue.
“Since this is the first time you are meeting her, I would stay away from anything too personal, such as makeup or perfumed lotions, soaps, etc.”
I would, too. There are 3 camps of women when it comes to fragrance in beauty care products:
I don’t want any fragrance (either due to skin sensitivity, or just not liking to wear fragrance)
I like very specific fragrances - and only want those particular fragrances, thankyouverymuch
I like any and all fragrances - the more the merrier
Type #3 is the type who buys Bath & Body Works baskets full of all different fragranced lotions, soaps, bubble baths, etc. and then wonders why type #1 and type #2 aren’t as enthused about the gift!
I began with PJs from the gap, then added on items from BR, e.g. Gloves, scarf, sweater. I also bought at Brookstone. Initially, my son g/f liked to cook, so I got her something from Bloomies and had it mailed. That was on sale for $50. I never get e-mail thank- yours, so I don’t know what is a hit. When she was here at hannukah , she politely rejected the Brookstone gift and the earrings. She was wearing the Gap PJs from year before, so those she obviously liked. The g/f wears no makeup, nor are her ears pierced , so I would not give her scented lotions etc. we talked about gifts. My son was surprised that she didn’t like the jewelry box he had bought her, because it had inlay end pictures of butterflies. She hates bugs of any kind.
Point is, spend some time with the g/f, talking about wanted and undesirable gifts, before going all out.
I cannot imagine spending time with my S’s GF, or anyone else for that matter, discussing what they did and did not want as gifts as if it were a business transaction.
" I never get e-mail thank- yours…she politely rejected the Brookstone gift and the earrings."
I think I would give up on getting gifts for the time being. Also it’s possible that she wore the PJ’s at your house just like some people put out stuff relatives gave them only when they come to visit…
Its sweet of you to want to make her comfortable and anyone would appreciate the thought!