I wish some of our adult children could go to the youth detention center every month with us, when we throw a simple birthday party. We had two young men tonight. One was turning 18, the other 19. Both had fathers who were in prison most of their childhoods. The older boy (boy!) has two kids - a two-month-old and a 17-month-old. They both are adamant they want to do better so their siblings and kids can look up to them. They would have given anything to have a stable home. Talk about two strikes against you before you even grow up. 
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Here’s a good book about families who find themselves with a child who is in some way challenging to parent. https://parents.simonandschuster.com/9780743236720
There was a documentary that made following the success of the book. https://youtu.be/v_1bVhenzZ0?si=_HVTvSrVw-yLRg9Z
@MaineLonghorn I did not understand your post wishing that adult children could visit a youth detention center. Was the hypothetical benefit realizing how lucky they are to have the parents they have? Isn’t this another way to self-defend and deny the reality of our kids’ feelings? And kids in a detention center may have good parents or at least a good parent. I wouldn’t make any assumptions generally.
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