<p>(This thread is in response to the hundreds of threads on CC about how to make a social life in a difficult environment)</p>
<p>Look people, I’m about to write a mini novel right now, and then I’m not going to say another word. So listen up, and take it for what it’s worth. Also, keep in mind that this advice is coming from a kid who was picked on endlessly through all of elementary school until he was totally isolated with no friends in high school, but took an active role in changing the things he didn’t like about himself, until he became who he is today. What I’m trying to say is, I’m perfectly content with my social life now, which is why I feel in a position to give advice to others on the matter, but that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t in your shoes before. I was, and probably worse so. Well, here goes.</p>
<p>The first thing that I will say is that your social life ANYWHERE is what you make it. I know it sounds cliche, but trust me, it is SO true. Have you ever wondered why some people (we all have at least one friend like this) can go ANYWHERE, in ANY social setting, (be it school, work, church, a bar, roller skating rink, club… wherever!), and they always seem to have fun and be the life of the party?? Well that’s because they have learned the neccessary social skills to fit in with others and attract others with their positive attitudes and open-mindedness, having fun in their given social situations WITHOUT trying too hard. They act like themselves, and they always seem to be calm and collected. In social settings, they are cool and relaxed, and they are usually the ones to get invited to parties and other events.</p>
<p>Contrast this person with the stereotypical social outcast. You know, the loner type who openly declares that they have no friends, no social life, and generally complain that their life sucks. This person would be likely to put negative descriptive terms on their facebook ‘About Me’ such as: pessimistic, sardonic, mean-spirited, bigoted, etc. (I have seen it, I’m not making this up). As a result, these people’s lives are usually a self-fulfilling prophecy of the misery they portray to the rest of the world on a daily basis. In short, the more time these folks spend complaining that their social life sucks, the more that it actually does suck, and after you know it, all 4 years of their undergrad have passed them by. Whaddya know? They never went to a party? Oh well, they say, my school’s social life sucked.</p>
<p>NOPE! Not true. Folks, your answer starts within yourself. Whatever negative feelings you had about your school or the people who go there… (ie. “they’re antisocial”, “everyone’s already found their clique”, “they’re racist!”, etc.) throw those generalizations out the window. They may even have some truth to them, but the cold hard reality is that not everyone is the same where you go. No matter what, there is always going to be at least ONE friendly person at your school. All you had to do is find them. Or rather, just be yourself, and be person A (described above), and they will find you. Really, you don’t have to be that damn special to make a couple friends.</p>
<p>Look people, your social life in college is what you make it. I literally just transferred from my cushy LAC where I knew everyone and their momma (had my little clique and everything), to a school of 40,000 where I knew not a single person (IN THE MIDDLE OF THE YEAR!)… and already I have a solid social network. I say this not to brag, but to show that it’s doable. Granted, I’m sure there are people who transferred in this semester who know a lot more people than I do, they probably go to a lot more parties than me, hell, their friends are probably cooler! lol! But hey, in the end, I’m satisfied where I am, being me. That’s what you should aim for.</p>
<p>Be yourself. Be patient. Be openminded. Be self-aware (this is a big one; a lot of people with poor social skills are unable to see the image they are portraying to the rest of the world, whether it be walking around with a scowl 24/7, or just negative thoughts they say out loud). But most importantly, be a FRIEND. Others will be to you.</p>