I was wondering if in retrospect you wish they had chosen a school in easy driving distance. I think flying seems like such a pain in the neck, but if you give that up then you have fewer options and may miss out on some great schools.
We have a daughter who will start in September at a university that is a very long drive, but a short plane ride. It was a case of a great opportunity. The good news is that we have friendly relatives in the area in case anything goes wrong. I would also be very interested in hearing what others have experienced in this situation.
Both our kids were 2500 miles, 5-6 hour plane ride away. We have no regrets and are glad there are lots of flights between the airport in our city and those in LA. The only schools within driving distance weren’t appealing to the kids or us. It worked fine.
Back in the day, I and all but 1 sibling attended grad/pro school 1000s of miles and long plane rides from home.
My kids were both plane rides away. No regrets except that it was hard for them to travel for Thanksgiving. D1 came home for it the first year, then went home with friends after that. D2 was the one that emptied my nest, so we made a tradition of me flying to her (very nice climate) college and we went on a long weekend trip every year at Thanksgiving. It was really special time with her, worked great for us.
My kids really wanted to experience another part of the country, and I think that was good for them.
Our kids knew that they would come home for Christmas and summer, ONLY. When I was away, I and my sibs would come home for summer ONLY. We all managed.
S1 is now a sophomore at a school in Chicago and we live near Palm Springs. He loves his school and we are happy that he has found a home away from home. He runs xc and track and from the start has had great connections with teammates and others on campus. Neither his mom nor I regret his choice of college. We are fortunate ORD has so many flight options and we haven’t had an issue getting convenient flights. In fact, he hasn’t even had to wait until the next morning to fly out after his last final yet.
Thanksgiving could be an issue, but we book that flight early and he has been able to fly home Tuesday after his last class no problem both years. The one time he wanted to come home unexpectedly for the weekend to deal with young love issues, we were able to accommodate. That highlights the good and bad of being so far from home. You can’t drive there and take your child to dinner and offer comfort and advice during hard times or join them for a celebration during good times. Has to be done over the phone, which isn’t the same. (But I think that is more my disappointment than his.). We will see how junior and senior years go with internships (fingers crossed) potentially having to be close to campus and having to spend the summer in Chicago instead of home.
S2 starts school in the fall in LA, which is about 2 hours away (outside of heavy traffic times). So we will get to experience first had the difference between having a child 120 miles away and one 2,500 miles away.
My son went to a college that was about 3 hours drive away. My daughter went to college in Massachusetts and we live in Los Angeles, a 5-6 hour flight. We hardly saw my son during the school year where my daughter’s college had a fall break and spring break in which she would fly home. So, we actually saw more of my daughter than my son.
As a previous poster mentioned, Thanksgiving is problematical. Too short a time off considering the transit time and flights are hard to get and expensive. You also weren’t too far off from the big Christmas break. So, daughter just went to roommates or friends homes for Thanksgiving.
Both kids enjoyed their college experiences and got good jobs out of school. We were happy for both and wouldn’t change anything.
We normally drive the 10 hours at move in and pick up. In between she/we fly. It’s fine- the flight is short ( 60-70 minutes) and her school is near the airport. We get reasonable flights ($). They have a shuttle bus to campus or she ubers. My neighbor’s sister lives about a half hour away and we were told we can call her if necessary- thankfully we have not had to. I like the area- everything she needs is right there including medical stuff if necessary. I have no regrets about the distance and we love the school.
My other child was a 3-4 hour car ride. It was easier to get her home during breaks and she sometimes popped in unexpectedly ( my birthday) which was fun.
My siblings and I all went plane-rides away from home, mainly because we lived in a remote state and unless we went to very bad local schools, there wasn’t a choice. Also we didn’t have the funds to fly home. We got used to doing Thanksgiving in the dorms. At winter break when the dorms closed, I borrowed / house sat wealthier students’ apartments, and studied during that time. Summer we all worked to earn for the next year and so went wherever the job was.
While I was house sitting, one winter, I remember one of my friends asking me to go to his mailbox and get his trust fund check and forge his signature and deposit it in his bank account, so that he could keep skiing wherever he was located.
He took an extra year to graduate. I got an award on my senior thesis. And published it.
DS is 5 hours away by car but only an hour by air. He has done both more than once this freshman year. We do not regret the distance and are very grateful to have both options available to get him back and forth. We know we will see him less with each year of school but we like knowing we really can do a round trip in a day if necessary.
This has been a challenge for us. Up until this past November, we lived in Massachusetts while our son was in college in Ohio. He would fly directly between Cleveland and Boston.
When we moved to Maine, it became much more of an ordeal, as there are no direct flights, and the closest airport is 90 miles away. So his trips to and from school got a lot longer and more complicated.
The moral of my story is: if they have to fly there, try to find a school where direct flights are frequent. And don’t move until they graduate!
There can be issues with weather in the winter. This past year there was a major storm all along the east coast on Saturday December 17 just as many kids were traveling home. Huge numbers of flights were cancelled and delayed. My D spent 6 hours at the airport but eventually got out. It can be a hassle.
My D1 went to college in Orlando, Florida. We live within an hour of 3 major airports servicing Florida multiple times a day. She would fly up and back often since she was travelling away from the traffic (north before the holiday, south after the holiday) so flights were reasonable. Thanksgivings were always challenging, but we booked ahead and D flew home most of the times on the Tuesday night after classes and sometimes returned early Monday morning (Sunday flights were higher). After her first semester, she did not schedule classes on Fridays and Mondays so she take Thursday nights and Mondays flights to and from home for long weekends.
D2 is about 2 hours away by car and we have to either drive her or pick her up (otherwise, she would have to take multiple buses and trains) which would take hours.
No regrets and it’s only 4 years which go by quickly. I think it depends on the kid; are they up for the travel and limited visits with family? One of mine is a 2 hour plane ride but then about an hour to campus. Fortunately we live near an airport. My other student is a 2 hour drive which has been great - driving down for lunch, attending a football/basketball game.
It seems that the items that we slide right past in these discussions involve time and expense.
As always there isn’t one correct answer to this question. So much depends on family finances, an available car and driver for long trips and detsils of available airports and flights and transport from campus to airport. And be honest with yourself about your child’s personality and maturity.
Be realistic and try to project yourself and your kid into the probable realities of time, weather, flight expenses, flight availability, airport access, drive time, car availability, etc.
What may sound like an easy peasy no brainer for one family would be a deal breaker for another family. just be honest with yourself about what you are able to (and want to) handle.
Austin to Columbia NYC…no regrets! Do you know how nice it is that I never had had to worry about my son driving while in NYC…or going on road trips. The things that keep us up at night…yes…a few times when he was really sick I wish I could have gone to help. But no regrets overall. One more year…
No regrets as D16 finishes up freshman year 1500 miles away. Having direct flights between major airports has been a plus, and I can usually get her a Denver to DC flight at a great price. Our whole family moved her out there on Southwest with two free bags each! However, we couldn’t make it out to visit her during the school year.
The worst part of it was having to schedule flights around dorm closures - her dorm closed the last day of classes before fall break, winter break and spring break (and closes on the last day of finals), so there has been a limited window for scheduling flights. D will be off-campus next semester and it won’t be a problem anymore.
S19 is more of a homebody and will probably end up going to school in-state or in a neighboring state.
No regrets. The 3 hour time difference can be a slight problem when I get calls at odd hours though!
We live on the East Coast and have 1 in NoCal and 1 in SoCal at the same time. No regrets. A little more costly, but would not do anything differently.
Yes, regret. Kiddo’s school is about a 12- hour drive. At first Amtrak or carpooling was used to get back and forth, but that always wasted whole days of precious time off coming & going. Drove kid nuts & was especially ridiculous during Thanksgiving & spring break. So we have ended up buying lots of expensive plane tickets.
If I had it to do over, I would have put a distance limit of about a 6 -hour drive. If farther, at least make sure there are major airports at each end, so the cheapest options are non-top flights…we’ve had our days spoiled by layovers delayed by bad weather and missed connecting flights.