We are in DC area, have one in Boston, and another starting in NOLA in the fall. Flying isn’t a big deal and if you plan it early enough you can get the tickets at better prices. It’s an 8 hours drive to Boston, and I do it 2 or 3 times a year to visit him and have meetings at the school. I expect we’ll be visiting NOLA a few times a year too. It’s all good. Being away from their classmates and in a new environment will make them grow up quicker.
My child is at a rural school 1000 miles from home - requiring a flight plus a 2 hour drive from airport to campus. It is a hassle, but it has been worth it because the school is an excellent fit academically/socially/financially. If the school weren’t such a good fit, it would not be worth the trouble. The school she attends is rather unique, so there was no hope of finding a similar school closer to home.
Sending my D1 back to school involved only an hour and a half round trip excursion to the airport, which was a whole lot easier than doing the 5-6 hour drive EACH WAY for S and the 3 hours each way for D2. Also, D1 put her dorm stuff in storage for the summer, which meant it wasn’t cluttering up our house. I liked that. I agree that Thanksgiving was the biggest issue because D1 didn’t have the whole week off and needed a full day for travel each way. So it was a lot of time and expense for just a few days visit. Also, Thanksgiving fell very close to their winter break in mid December, so it seemed somewhat wasteful for her to fly then, given higher holiday prices too. In the end, we compromised. D came home for Thanksgiving twice and had dinner with college friends near campus twice.
The problems: flights are an additional monetary outlay, as are storage costs. She did not have a car at college, so she had to find a friend to help her transport her stuff back and forth from the unit to the residence hall. We were only willing to pay these extra costs because that particular school offered something special not available anywhere else, and also because we had saved up a bunch of frequent flyer miles from DH’s business trips so the travel costs were reduced for us. As mentioned above, the time zone difference was sometimes annoying, since D would often call around 9 or 9:30 PM when her day’s activities were over, but that was midnight here. Finally, we could not ever afford to go to her college for parent weekends or to watch her compete in her sport. She knew that in advance when she chose the school, but I think that it still sometimes bothered her, especially since her friends’ parents were wealthy enough or else lived close enough to make regular visits.
On the Parents of 2015 post, I remember a few stories of issues with cancelled flights in the winter due to weather issues. You will have to make flight plans early and give your child enough time to make it back to school even ifthere are weather issues.
No regrets. I also attended a college a plane ride away from my birth family. The only regret I had as a student was that my family found it too expensive, understandably, to fly in for parent weekend. The first year was hard to watch as my dorm-mates were showing off how they’d learned to negotiate the campus and enjoying special activities. After that year, I did not notice it.
I was glad mine could choose the school that best met their needs without regard to distance or logistics. We worked through the transportation - college is a finite amount of time and doesn’t involve transportation difficulties more than a couple times a year.
Someone mentioned time and expense. The biggest issue is the size of the airport on both ends whcih affects both. We move frequently and have been small airport to major and small to small. Expense is automatically $100 higher for every small airport you add. This Fall, we’ll have a longer flight but be able to acces direct flights major to major with a 2.5 hour drive on our end to airport. Thanksgiving still out on that far.
But, we don’t regret it.
My S went to grad school a plane ride away. The first Thanksgiving we all felt frustrated – fog at airport, cancelled flights – and it took a concerted effort and more money than planned to reschedule things and get him home very late Wed. night. After that he generally took 2 days and drove back and forth over breaks. But other than that no regrets as it was a great grad school for his area of interest and a wonderful experience – but we were all glad it was for a shorter Master’s program and not 4 years.
Same as above. Great school 12 hours away for masters. Last year was ok. This year problems almost every time she came home. I hate flying so don’t really like her so far away. Biggest problem is no local airport (except small one with flights that are almost always too expensive.) Other airports are 1-1 1/2 hours away so lead time to get to airports is a pain. Now she’s doing a 3rd year and potentially PhD. Kind of wish she had picked the 5 hour away option. I would have hated this if it was undergrad but don’t worry as much as since she’s older. Selfishly, I’d like it to be closer to make it easier for this non-flyer to visit.
Transport can be problematic even with drive-able distances. One kid was a 6 - 7 hour drive to school. At the end of one Christmas break the weather was so bad that sections of our interstate/expressway routes were closed for multiple days. We put off that drive for several days until finally it was the day before classes began. We felt there was no more choice, and left even though it was still dangerous - lots of cars in the ditches. Did not let Kid take a family car back to school going through that weather alone. I can’t remember why we didn’t opt to fly Kid back, air transport must have been similarly disrupted.
We live in Denver. So college choices are quite limited if you don’t fly.
It is much easier, faster and cheaper if the college (i) is a direct flight rather than connecting into a regional airport and (ii) is a cab/Uber ride from where the landing airport is. The worst and most expensive is if the travel involves indirect flight, puddle jumper, and then a 1-2 hour drive to the boonies. Those trips can turn into nightmares if things start to go wrong.
For the later college years, it was helpful if the school was within 1200 miles or so, because then we could use a car to transport the student and gear at the beginning/end of the school year. Also VERY helpful if your direct flight can be on Southwest – cheap fares, no penalty/fee for switching flights and two free checked 50 pound duffle bags allowed for each traveler.
My kids always came/went with at least one duffle, which gets expensive if you are paying for each bag.
D was 800 miles away. We had no regrets
Like @DadofTwoGirls we have a D17 starting in the fall at a short plane, long drive away. No regrets! She’s been flying as an unaccompanied minor since she was 11 years old, flying from LAX to JFK and then back again. Her flight now will be either LAX to Denver or Colorado Springs, she’s done it solo already, piece of cake short flight.
Our only concern is Thanksgiving traffic, honestly the worst time of year to fly. So, we’ll see how that goes!
My kids are both at plane ride colleges. No regrets, but the same challenges as others have mentioned. Thanksgiving is tough–my kids haven’t come home but I regretted that decision this year with our first year student–she had no in-town family and was able to go to her roommate’s house, but was really homesick. One college location has relatively expensive flights from our city–direct flights between two large cities, just always expensive. The other kid is in Chicago, and the flights are many and reasonably priced.
I think I would regret the decision to let a child go so far if there was a serious illness, or mental health issues cropped up,. If my kid had experienced serious health issues in the past, I would be cautious about sending them farther away.
There’s risk involved with a kid stepping out on his or her own, and it’s usually (but not always) a very reasonable risk to take.
I was prepared for DS to be a plane ride away in my home town with my family still there to assist. I’ve driven there many times, can make the ~18 hr drive alone easily, and have other relatives in between.
DS is instead going to be on a different much further plane ride away with no relatives. DH and I can’t do the drive. I have some old contacts and relatives of friends I may call on if needed. While I had two closer schools I liked, I can’t regret that he has chosen an outstanding college (RPI). We miss DS already and he hasn’t left yet. 
Thanks so much to all of you!! It seems the majority of you have no regrets. I understand that most colleges have airport shuttles to airports before major holidays, but I wonder what does a kid do if they want to come home at a time when there are no shuttles. I guess it helps to find schools close to a major airport or they just have to stick it out until the big break. Thanks again:)
@Massmomm “The moral of my story is: if they have to fly there, try to find a school where direct flights are frequent. And don’t move until they graduate!”
In choosing schools, one very good choice was not convenient to an airport that had direct flights home. It would have required either two flights, or a two hour cab ride to an airport that had direct flights. A different choice was a longer drive, but convenient to an airport with a short non-stop flight home, and close to relatives. My daughter chose the latter which I think was a very good choice. Both universities are small, excellent, a good match, and very affordable.
@twogirls “We normally drive the 10 hours at move in and pick up. In between she/we fly. It’s fine- the flight is short (60-70 minutes) and her school is near the airport.”
If it a 10 hour drive but a one hour flight, then it sounds like you have the same issue that we have: For driving there is a lot of water (the Bay of Fundy) in the way that we will need to drive around, but planes can go straight over. Regardless, this is our plan also.
“Thanks so much to all of you!! It seems the majority of you have no regrets.”
Agreed! Thanks to everyone who replied. I sounds like there is a strong consensus that this will be just fine. I guess this is a big part of our little ones becoming self-sufficient adults.
@citymama9 - Even in the middle of nowhere, someone has a car. The student without one will need to be on the look out for free and/or willing drivers who could sub for a shuttle.
I think it wholly depends on the kid. I have five teens, and several are on the verge on leaving the nest. I have one who will likely go to college in Canada, 1600 miles and two plane flights away. It is absolutely the right choice for her and I have no real concerns about the distance. I have other kids who need to be close to home, period. They will need support and frequent check-ins, for assorted reasons.
So, in a nutshell, YMMV.
I know in the case of Bama, there was a very popular rideshare Facebook page for students to arrange rides home and back during breaks, to the airport in Birmingham, etc. Kids who lived as far away as Illinois, Arkansas, and mine in the DC area all were able to get rides to and from campus with no problems. I’m sure other colleges have these rideshare sites to varying degrees.
My parents will tell you they regret letting me go 2000 miles away from home to college. That’s because my summer job opportunities and eventual full time job were close to where I went to school.
My D is going 500 miles away, but we’re pretty confident she won’t be staying in that area for summer internships or a job. Nope, she’ll be going 500 miles in another direction if she can get into the field she wants to!