I have always had a soft spot for Conn College. Love the honor code, the community, the location, THE ADVISING … What a great scholarship as well!
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My son is going to run XC/track at Conn next year, so I’ve been following the teams some this year. The women have a strong team with a few really good runners. And they seem like a nice group from what I can tell.
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Congrats on having some great acceptances with great merit offers! Perhaps it’s best not to be tempted to full-pay for schools that may not actually be better options for you than the ones offering merit, given that you haven’t developed strong favorites (which is actually better than getting too stuck on any one "dream school!).
One differentiator among your LAC options is Greek life. Conn College doesn’t have fraternities and sororities, whereas Greek life has historically been relatively prominent at both Union and F&M, and there have been issues at both in recent years, with several fraternities getting shut down for violations. According to this site, Greek Life Participation on College Campuses, which states it draws the data from the Common Data Set, 37% of women at Union are in sororities, as are 24% of women at F&M. A recent Union grad did her honors thesis on diversity issues in the Greek system there, noting that the college is 67% white, but the Greek system is 81% white. Accepted, But Not Welcome’: Why Are BIPOC Students Not Part of Greek Life at Union College? Other interesting articles out of Union in the past decade: The current state of Greek life on Union College’s campus – Concordiensis and The Economic and Academic Consequences of Fraternity Membership And one from F&M: Two Chapters Suspended, Three Remain: Fraternity Life At F&M “Will Never Be the Same” - The College Reporter
All three have decent Jewish representation (around 9% at Conn and F&M, and around 12% at Union), and the racial diversity numbers are pretty similar among the three, with F&M having a slight edge.
You might touch base with @3SailAway to compare notes on Conn College - her son was just accepted too, and they’ve looked into both academic accommodations and running there. I believe they were considering Union and F&M too.
All three schools have observatories, and solid physics departments. Hopefully you can visit and try to get a sense of where you might be happiest. I don’t think you could go wrong with any of them, but hopefully you’ll find that one resonates more with you than the others. They differ in terms of their surrounding areas (think both about what kind of environment you want in general, and also about where you’d be doing your outdoor running).
Of course, Stony Brook also has a lot to offer, if you decide that Honors would give you enough of a smaller sub-community.
Congrats again; I look forward to hearing how your visits go, and what you decide!
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The nature of Greek life has changed dramatically at many universities over the recent decade, often resulting in the loss of their houses. This was how the Minerva houses at Union came to be. So as @lilyesh investigates this - if she does – she’ll need to be sure to talk to current students about it and its nuances. (Not necessarily at these schools, but at at least one I can think of that - not on OP’s list, the Greek organizations are going strong, just off-campus and with essentially no/little school backing.)
At some schools without Greek life, athletic teams end up replicating this – choosing to live together, throwing parties, etc.
Many students exist quite happily outside all these systems as well.
So yes, one more thing to explore!!
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Perhaps I’m misunderstanding you, but Greek residences — 10 in total — remain prominent at Union.
Unless this has been changed, this is a part of a dorm in which greek members live together. So yes, they live together, but in regular university housing. The houses that used to be greek were converted into the Minerva houses. I haven’t been on this campus since covid, but this was how the first step of deemphasizing/gently dismantling greek life looked. I also have no firsthand experience in how this plays out, but it makes it possible for the university to have a bigger role in how greek organizations operate and also may makes “room” costs same for greek and non-greek.
Of course, it doesn’t eliminate the fact that these organizations are effectively “formalized cliques”. But it’s different from Greek life as mote traditionally practiced.
My guess is @lilyesh knows more about this as it’s something generally discussed on tours.
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I’m planning on visiting Union, and we’re going to see how the greek life is. For example, at Dartmouth, greek life seemed non cliquey and not only about parties. My mom and I both agree that greek life isn’t a bad thing for me if it’s not super cliquey and peer-pressure-ish. just because it’s another group to have in your corner. we just don’t think a school would be right for me if the greek life is cliquey and you have to drink/do drugs to participate.
Other than that, we really liked what we heard from Union and their programs. The scholars program is nice and so is the merit. So we are planning on visiting to get a sense of what the social scene is like, and will probably talk to some students too.
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It seems I overstated the number, but it appears that some residence houses at Union are reserved entirely for members of Greek organizations. This image seems representative of this style of living:
@lilyesh, Union is such a cool place - they’re very intentional about a lot of things that can really make a difference – and fwiw, we’ve known quite a few very different types of kids who have loved their experience there. So much to like. Looking forward to hearing all about it!
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Per the website, that’s Fero house and it’s university housing. 14 beds that the organization figures out how to delegate to members. Juniors and seniors only. I don’t know if the university switches up who gets what housing from year to year - this happens at another school that has used a similar set-up to change the dynamics of Greek life. Iow,
not like “frat row” at other schools.
But we digress! Excited for OP!
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Rejected from Wesleyan- I know it’s a reach for everyone, but I expected a similar outcome to Bates or Haverford with a waitlist. I’m very scared that I’m done with getting into anywhere- and while I’m getting excited about visiting Union and hoping I fall in love, I’m wondering why I took the classes I took and put the effort that I did into learning if I could’ve gotten in with a lot less stress. I just feel like I wasted my time.
What’s the point of stressing out over a grade or taking a certain class if it’s not going to matter anyway. I took the classes I took because I enjoy them and I enjoy learning, but that doesn’t make it any less hard. Because I could take Calc 1 instead of Calc 3 and have an A vs. an A-. Less homework, don’t have to pay attention, you get it.
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Why would you assume you’d get into Union (much less with rigor like you did) and F&M or the program you got at SB - with less rigor.
You were the best you - and you’ve been REWARDED.
I wouldn’t say that nothing mattered - that’s unfair to say. I would say - I do wish a lot wouldn’t stress out because the difference from Bates to Union in life will be likely nil - and one might argue Union is superior for your major.
I understand your frustration - but you played yourself - as you wanted to play you - and it’s all good!!! You will hopefully look back in four years and cry as you’re getting ready to leave campus!! That will mean - you went to the right school!!!
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So I think an important observation to keep in mind is that exactly how you do in college is typically way more of a factor in next step options than exactly which college you attend.
Accordingly, challenging yourself in high school serves the vital function of preparing you as well as possible for the challenges of college.
This point gets a little lost sometimes in admissions season, but soon enough people will actually be in college, and some will hit the ground running and feel very well-prepared, and some will struggle to make the transition. And so to the extent you have made it more likely you will be in the first group, that is actually very valuable.
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This student got accepted to Union @tsbna44
@lilyesh I know you are disappointed with some of these results, but you have a couple of great acceptances!
Congratulations on those! It’s all going to work out well!
The above are great options.
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Sorry for the disappointment.
Nonetheless, you not only have four fantastic choices - you also have merit scholarships and special opportunities from those four choices. All of that is a direct result of your hard work, so to say that your efforts haven’t paid off is a stretch; hopefully you know that and are just venting.
While your actual work was worthwhile, it’s probably true that the level of stress you put yourself under was not. Hopefully that will be a life lesson going forward: make your best effort, but don’t torture yourself!
Once you’ve absorbed this disappointment, I hope your campus visits get you excited over your great acceptances.
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Makes me feel a little better- especially the Union Scholars program is enticing. Some of it (I have to be completely honest here) is societal pressure. Which sounds so stupid, but I can’t help it. My peers know me- they have a list with the “top kids in the grade” with their college acceptances/waitlists/rejections. My peers expect that with the classes, ECs, and grades I have, I end up at a “top school.” I’m not a prestige chaser myself and generally I don’t care what people think about me- except when it comes to my intelligence. I come from an area where college results determine everyone’s opinion on your intelligence. Everyone here is FP, so it’s expected you commit to the best school you get into, regardless of money. I’m scared I’m going to be judged or seen as less for going to a “not top” school. Again, I feel so stupid for feeling this way- I shouldn’t. But there’s pressure on me to go to a “top” school. All my family members expect me to go to a “top” school. All my friends. I’ve been asked since freshman year what my first choice was. In my school, anyone who went to a state school or a non ivy/duke/etc, was considered “dumb”.”
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It’s not even the work really, I work hard in school but outside of homework- not much work done. I just get stress myself out thinking “well if my math IQ is 145 I should get a 100 on every math test.” which is stupid and sounds entitled considering my lack of studying. I usually am such a confident person- but not much when it comes to my intelligence- my mom says it’s my greatest gift, so I am petrified of not living up to that. With everything else I do, I work hard but I’m not inherently super gifted or talented- so there’s no real expectation
My two cents is you can give yourself a little break on feeling that sort of peer competition and pressure of external expectations. You are also correct that you should not let those feelings dictate your decisions, and soon enough it will all be a distant memory. But not feeling it at all is not really a reasonable request for someone your age.
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Thanks, I feel like I’m just seeking validation that it’s normal to feel societal pressure. I’ve always been the “she goes to the beat of her own drums” girl, and this is the first time I don’t feel like I’ve been like that. And I guess it feels like losing a part of my identity (not to a large extent, but still sucks).
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