<p>Hello, Everyone,</p>
<p>Hello,</p>
<p>I obviously haven’t figured out the system and hit enter before I typed anything. So,last night on the phone, out of the blue, my son told me that he was rushing fraternities. Okay, to say I was shocked would be an understatement. At the beginning of the year, he told me that he didn’t like the fraternity parties because they were way too crowded and there was too much drinking/drunk people around. He stated that he preferred to hang out in smaller groups. Fast forward three months and he is rushing!!! I know absolutely nothing about fraternities, but I must admit I am not thrilled. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to ask him much about it because he had to get off the phone to work on an arrangement for his a cappella group to rehearse. I have always supported my kids in what they want to do, but I am not sure how to support this. I am looking for some positive information about fraternities. I already know the negative information because that is what I have read in the media. I want to give him a call about this tonight, but I would like to have some information before I call him. Also, is it super expensive to belong to a fraternity? This is a major concern for me.</p>
<p>Also, my son is extremely social but definitely more artsy. This is why I am having a very hard time picturing this. </p>
<p>As you probably know, not may topics get so many negative comments as the Greek system conversation. </p>
<p>If I can figure out the PM feature on this new format, I will send you a message telling you about our son’s very positive experiences. Other threads on this topic (you can search them) tend to turn very hostile and negative, so I would rather try the PM route.</p>
<p>@dwhite - if you look at the four icons next to your screen name at the top right of this page, you’ll see an envelope icon. Click on it, and another box will drop down. At the top right of that box, you have the option to click on ‘new message’. Do that and the tools will appear that you need to write a PM.</p>
<p>Agree with dwhite… you will get many negative comments, but also plenty of stories from parents who were not only in Greek systems while in college, but whose children are now also navigating the system. For the most part, it will all depend on the school your child attends and how their Greek system operates. Some Greek systems I would not want my daughters to have anything to do with, while others, I would highly encourage. YMMV.</p>
<p>@teriwtt - Thank you! I actually just posted about PMs in one of the many threads about this new format - you beat them to the punch with an answer. </p>
<p>If you haven’t already done so, a good place to start would be the website of his school’s Interfraternity Council. They will probably have links to all of the chapters at that school and you can look into those too. Most schools also publish the average gpa’s of each fraternity somewhere and that information may also be of interest.</p>
<p>A lot depends on the school and the individual house. Fraternities vary widely (as does the expense of belonging to one) . I would say that your son is already ahead of the game in avoiding some of the pitfalls of belonging to a fraternity because he is already a member of another close-knit interest-based college group. Would you care to share your S’s school?</p>
<p>
While the cost of fraternity dues aren’t prohibitive, bailing him out of jail might be expensive. </p>
<p>“While the cost of fraternity dues aren’t prohibitive, bailing him out of jail might be expensive.”</p>
<p>And so it begins…</p>
<p>Sorry, I couldn’t resist.</p>
<p>By the way, new members cannot PM until they reach a certain number of posts.</p>
<p>My son is at Yale.</p>
<p>I gather your son is a freshman? Congratulations to him on being tapped for an a capella group. I’m somewhat surprised that a kid with no interest in fraternities would look at one there, since the residential colleges provide a lot of what draws kids to fraternities. But as a freshman he would not have moved into his college yet. Yale has had it share of negative fraternity stories–the infamous no means yes chant episode, for example–but on the other hand they are not a dominant force on campus, as they might be at an SEC school. </p>
<p>I would just have a calm, non-judgemental conversation with him on the topic, and ask why he changed his mind, and what he likes about the houses he has visited and thinks he would like about fraternity life. </p>
<p>It is always possible that he either won’t get a bid, or won’t get a bid at a house he likes. In that case, you can console him with the prospect of living in his residential college. :)</p>
<p>
Got a nice little chuckle at this!</p>
<p>Do some deep researching of the fraternity and the fraternity culture on campus. Greek life is great and all, but not every chapter is perfect and without trouble. Know the positives and the negatives…</p>
<p>I don’t think it is the mother’s place to do such research…</p>
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</p>
<p>Why not?</p>
<p>If it’s the parent who wants the research to be done, why shouldn’t the parent do it, as long as it doesn’t involve direct contact with the fraternities? </p>
<p>Let your son decide if he want’s to be in the frat…please you parents spend way too much time obessing over this mess. I’m frat boy from way back and when my son showed up at my undergrad school and went to a frat event and introduced himself they stopped for a minute and said 'hey this is Mack’s son,well he chose not to be be in my frat, much to my disappointment, but considering all the BS he made the right choice…This site is great for people wanting to make inquiry, but I’m sorry if you aren’t in the frat there are just some things you’ll never find out.</p>
<p>OP,
My D was very active in Greek life at Yale. The Greek system is small but healthy. I have nothing but good things to say about her experience, other than the fact that the administration there does not like the Greek system and has worked to limit their freedoms.</p>
<p>@Consolation, Both the parent and the student should do researching. I’d want to know what I’m getting into and I’d want my mom to what I’m getting into. </p>
<p>If a parent is concerned, they should research and learn what they can that will provide them with unbiased (at the least multiple biased) perspective(s). </p>
<p>Well, I can assure you that I did my share of snooping around trying to figure out what the deal was with frats at S’s school, but I can also assure you that it was completely his decision to pledge and I had no input into it. :)</p>