<p>My impression is that frats at Yale are really on the fringe of social life there and that they are stereotypical (binge drinking, other bad behavior.) It doesn’t sound like something that would fit someone participating in acapella or in another activity which is not football or lacrosse.<br>
Someone mentioned about sororities at Yale, but I’d have to caution you that sororities and fraternities are very different. </p>
<p>collegealum314,</p>
<p>What is the source of your knowledge about Yale fraternities?</p>
<p>^Well, one source is from the news, which was trying to evaluate the place of fraternities at Yale because George W. Bush was in one. I also know a few Yale alumni.</p>
<p>I have no specific knowledge of particular fraternities. I did a google search for frat descriptions, and the only hit that characterized the different frats at Yale was the following.
<a href=“Tombs and Taps, An inside look at Yale's Fraternities, Sororities and Societies”>http://www.conspiracyarchive.com/NWO/Tombs_and_Taps.htm</a> </p>
<p>It’s a conspiracy website (their coverage is no doubt inspired by the secret societies), but the descriptions seemed pretty tame so it looked realistic to me. The description of individual frats is toward the bottom.</p>
<p>Are the Yale students you know in fraternities?</p>
<p>I ask about the source of your knowledge, because in general, all of these Greek discussions, regardless of the college being discussed end the same way: People who were not in them or had no kids in them, are very negative about them. People who were in them or had kids in them, are very positive (with a couple of exceptions thrown in). It would be nice if people who did not participate in the Greek system either directly or via their kids, would stay off these threads, because all those people do is offer negative hearsay and rumors about Greek life.</p>
<p>Not to discount your post, Bay, but it’s not like someone in the Greek system is going to say, “Being in (Insert Greek Letters here) is so great because I got my ticket for underage drinking waived.”</p>
<p>I don’t follow you, Niquii. Can you be less cryptic?</p>
<p>Someone who is in the Greek system isn’t going to talk about the negatives of being in a fraternity or sorority. They’re not going to speak out against the drinking, the peer pressure, the hazing, and the like. They’re not going to speak out on the negative situations they’ve been placed in. </p>
<p>I don’t think that is true on an anonymous message board. Why would they hide it? There are no consequences. </p>
<p>I have personal experience with frats, but not at Yale. </p>
<p>The Yale students I knew were not in fraternities, but their opinion that frats were on the fringe of the social life there is relevant if you’re looking for the general opinion of their place on campus. The Greek scene is very small there (~5 frats) and is generally not a mainstream thing to do, and the general picture people present is that it doesn’t really fit with the rest of the campus. Perhaps because it is so small, the only ones they have are stereotypical. At least that’s the picture I get. </p>
<p>I think of all the schools I know with a Greek scene, including elite schools, I think Yale is the only one where I would describe it as on the fringe of the social life.</p>
<p>I don’t find it unusual at all that initially he thought he didn’t want to be in a fraternity, but now does, especially given his connections within his a cappella group. D2 did not want to go Greek (although D1 did and had an awesome experience). Once she got into her a cappella group and made some really, really good friends, one of those friends ended up being in a sorority and many times tried to talk D2 into joining. Even though the friend was a year ahead of D2, they became very fast friends and ended up being D’s best friend in college. I think the friend wanted another shared experience with D, since they were spending so much time together. D was almost convinced to join, but never made the commitment; I think she had a hard time seeing herself in the sorority when her friend graduated a year ahead of her. But yea, if the OP’s son is making new friends in his a cappella group, then perhaps it is one of those friends who has talked him into rushing. </p>
<p>I think parents who were in Greek life and had bad experience would tell their kids not to join, and we are not seeing that. H was in a fraternity and I was not. He was not as concerned when D1 wanted to rush. I was the one who was very apprehensive and did all kinds of research, but I kept my mouth shut. D1 had a very good experience, D2 is in the same sorority as D1 and is also enjoying herself.</p>
<p>Collegealum,</p>
<p>Harvard’s Greek scene is smaller than Yale’s, fwiw. </p>
<p>As far as being “fringe” I’m not sure I know what that means. The Greek system is on the small side but it is quite active. Fraternity parties are open to all students. Is there something else at Yale that serves as a major source of social life for all students? A Capella groups are smaller than fraternities, aren’t they? Would you describe them
as fringe as well?</p>
<p>
It is true, though. For the same reason why a poster doesn’t proclaim that their daughter hates them, or that they are failing out of school, or that they’re going to court next week for underage drinking. It’s anonymous,but there is still an “online identity”. </p>
<p>Basing your impressions of fraternities at Yale off George W. Bush’s experiences - what, 50 years ago? - doesn’t seem all that intelligent. It would seem to me that the Yale forum would be the place to go for this discussion (if you can find it with this new format). This is SUCH a campus-specific thing; you just can’t generalize the over-the-top systems to the mellow systems. </p>
<p>I think a lot of parents have posted their kids not so proud moments on this forum and we all have learned a lot from those posts. My older one didn’t do so well on her college application process. I have posted it as lessons learned and I think many people have benefited from our experience. Others have posted their kid’s speeding ticket, DUI, suspension, drug problem…Why wouldn’t they post, “My kid pledged and didn’t really like it?” What would be the shame in posting that. </p>
<p>There would be no shame in that. Pledging and not really liking it is not what I’m referring to. </p>
<p>“Not liking it” could be 1) my kid didn’t like the fact he/she was forced to do things they didn’t want to (alcohol, drugs, sex, pranks), 2) to be friends with people they didn’t like, 3) spending too much money. What are you referring to?</p>
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<p>Yes, I knew that, but that is because Harvard banned their Greek system at one point. </p>
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<p>If they went through something negative like hazing and put up with it, it reflects badly on them, especially since the payoff (e.g., acceptance by a group of friends) may not engender sympathy among those who didn’t do it themselves. Even psychologically, I think there is a tendency to minimize it in one’s own memory.<br>
I remember how people viewed their own hazing while they were pledges compared to a year later.</p>
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<p>I didn’t really say that, though. George W. Bush’s candidacy spurred a lot of talk about the Yale fraternity system in general, both in the 60s vs. today. </p>
<p>Anyway, I think what happens is that when the Greek system is extremely small, the frats tend to be primarily of the stereotypical sort. That is my own theory. It may still be fun to go to their parties, but I don’t think your average student at Yale would fit in in a fraternity.</p>
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<p>Well, a capella groups attract people interested in singing, which is a small minority of Yalies. Who is the small Greek system attracting? Do you think it’s just like another series of dorms? My feeling is that, especially due to the limited number of frats, it will attract primarily the jocks, those interested in hard drinking, and those who are misogynistic. </p>
<p>If you have personal knowledge of Yale’s frats, feel free to share your experience. I am just sharing my secondhand knowledge. </p>
<p>I agree with Pizzagirl that you will get more informed views if you post it in the Yale forum. In the list of forums on the left of the page, there is a link to the ivy league forums. It is the last one listed.</p>