<p>My son was invited to pledge a fraternity. He really enjoyed it. In fact, I don’t think that he was ever as happy as while he was going through the rushing and pledging process. He just found out that they have cut him off (sorry I don’t know the frat lingo) from the pledging process. They actually cut about 40% of the students who were pledging. The frat members claim that they did not feel that these guys were “ready”, but encouraged them to try again next year. Without going down the road about how bad fraternities are, I would like to know if this is typical, and what usually happens if the kid tries again the following year. My son really has no idea as to why he was really cut, other than he feels that they were trying to cut down the size of the fraternity (it is not very large to begin with).</p>
<p>have you followed the DZ at DePauw saga? I would first inquire if this particular fraternity is in trouble with finances/pledging.</p>
<p>Must be hurting and stymied for sure.</p>
<p>Absolutely hurting, but seems to be dealing with it as well as one could expect. He did not see this blow coming at all.</p>
<p>I did not follow the thread on cc about the saga at DePauw, but heard it on the news this morning. I don’t think that it has anything to do with my son’s situation. My son was invited to pledge. He did write out a check, but not for dues, so I don’t feel that they just wanted his money. He did pay for one thing that he did not receive, but it was not a large amount of money that they took from him.</p>
<p>If they asked him to try again, he should if he wants to. Maybe his grades aren’t strong enough? My S is the education chair of his frat and he does go through the classes and grades of pledges. If he doesn’t think they can live the life and still make grades, they delay and ask the pledge to come back in the fall. Frats are under pressure at some schools to have a better gpa than the male student body. If they don’t they can’t rush. If they have a few years of poor gpa’s and miss rush, the frat could fold. So they do look at the pledge and try and figure can they cut it? </p>
<p>He could certainly ask for a reason and they should supply one. But if he wants to join later or any frat for that matter be diplomatic. Talk, don’t yell. It could be something as simple as spots available as well. Or in my D’s case, having doubts the last night if she wanted to make the time commitment. She went from in to out overnight because she had doubts. After 15 minutes she realized it was for the best as long as she had doubts. It was fair to everybody.</p>
<p>Thanks. No, the issue is not grades. They do have a certain gpa to maintain, but my S is above that average.</p>
<p>I’m very sorry for your son. I’ve never heard of this - at my son’s frat, if they are going to “cut” someone (which is very rare), they do it as part of the rush process - which is the intent of rush as far as I know. Once the bid is offered to the pledge and the pledge process has started, I believe that the frat is committed to the student but sometimes the student decides that the frat is not right for him. </p>
<p>My son had a great time during the pledge process and I can imagine the hurt that would come, after all that time spent and the bonding process started, if he was suddenly rejected. If it were my son, I would advise him to find a different frat to pledge the next time - unless they had a very good reason for their action (which they apparently didn’t), they don’t sound like the group of friends that are worth pursuing.</p>
<p>“Is that a pledge pin on your uniform?”</p>
<p>I’m a former frat boy (not proud of it, but there it is). I’ve also never heard of this. The cutting process was done during rush. You either received a bid or you didn’t. After that, I suppose we could have gotten rid of a pledge, but it would have taken some real transgression for that to happen.</p>
<p>Frats don’t generally want to be smaller. They need the money. If they pledged that many people, they must have wanted that many people unless they were being dishonest.</p>
<p>I honestly don’t know what to make of this.</p>
<p>Floundering chapter, in need of image upgrade, need to regroup…this is frequently the manner. Followed by in worst of situations a shut down on that campus for a period of time.</p>
<p>this is very surprising. unless your son (and the other 40% of his pledge class) did something completely ridiculous, i can’t see how they were cut once they were pledges. somethings up - either with your son or the fraternity. I suggest you try a different fraternity next semester.</p>
<p>Hello? Yes, I’d say that is sage advice.</p>
<p>Maybe he didn’t drink enough? (now that’s a thought…)</p>
<p>What school does your son attend? Does the school oversee the frats in any way? I think the school should be made aware of your son’s experience.</p>
<p>Just asked my fratboy (hubby). He’s never heard of this either. Cutting occurred during rush and you don’t ‘overbook’…though I will say, at his frat, pretty much everyone was welcome. They were just huge (and well liked) because they were not selective at all.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry to hear this northeastmom.</p>
<p>Why would they ask soooo many and then cut almost HALF?</p>
<p>I would bet they broke some kind of rule…at least morally</p>
<p>Why would he want to try again with a frat that treats the pledges like that?</p>
<p>If they do that, then sounds like a bad frat</p>
<p>and did he get his $$ back? if not, I would be p(#*&$%d…that would be a flag for me…</p>
<p>what was the money supposed to be for? and if they kept it…</p>
<p>say it was $100 buck, you have what, ten guys, it could be some serious $…</p>
<p>Is there any possibility that your S was asked to do something he was uncomfortable with, and he (and his pledge brothers) were cut for refusing to do it? And that he doesn’t want to admit to you that the guys he liked so much asked him to do something inappropriate?</p>
<p>My boyfriend and father are both fraternity alumni. I’ve heard of pledges getting blackballed, but only because they wouldn’t complete elements of the pledge process. At a good frat, that’s only going to be stuff like showing up at meetings, learning the history, etc. But there are houses out there that might ask a kid to do some pretty nasty stuff, and might kick him out if he said no.</p>
<p>Thanks all. I have no idea as to why this happened. Hanna, perhaps what you are thinking is possible. BTW, he did not pay substantial money to them, so taking his $$ does not seem to be a factor.</p>
<p>You seem to not understand the financial angle here. What money your son paid as a pledge is distinctly different from what he would have paid to live there as a full member or to participate as a full member. If the chapter cannot recruit enough paying members to sustain the house and all other functions…that is a chapter at risk.</p>
<p>hazmat, I get that. This is why I cannot understand that they turned away kids that they invited to pledge. My son had the $ to pay their fees.</p>