Do you have friends who are quick to give advice? Sometimes we just need someone to listen to us vent but there is always that one friend, as soon as you say something, they’re ready to give advice. Do you know someone like that? Do you find that comforting or nerve wrecking? lol
I’m a fixer by nature, so my friends who just want to vent know not to do that with me. I pick who I want to complain to-some friends are good at listening, some friends are good at fixing. You have to know your audience.
Don’t ask a fixer to be a shoulder to cry on-it’s not how we roll.
I guess it’s always good to have friends who are fixers, but lawwddd, just once in a while, give it a break, hey? lol
I am the advice giver. I apologize to all of my friends. 
If the situation is fixable, a good friend would offer advice AND help. If noting can be done, a good friend would listen.
Before you vent, you should tall them that you just want to vent, and don’t need advice.
(See what I did there?)
That one friend who always gives advice is H. Sometimes I just don’t tell him things because it’s frustrating.
Seems to me like you have good friends who want to help you. If you don’t want advice either vent to someone else or let the “advice givers” know in advance that you just want to vent and aren’t looking for advice at this point.
Oh for sure, it’s a good skill to learn to able to say, I just need you to listen and nod, I’m not looking for advice or asking you to fix this for me.
And in reverse, to be able to say, I’m willing to listen. I can keep my mouth shut and just listen, no advice, no comment, if that is what you need right now.
You’re on CC complaining about advice givers?? Many of us are here because that’s who we are! :))
Yes. It’s comforting.
You’re venting, right? Because you’re giving me mixed signals, displaying emotion yet asking questions, so as an advice giver, I would ordinarily take that as a cue to provide some direction, such as, when you just want to vent don’t ask any questions, but I will hold off on giving you advice on the matter because there’s a good chance you’re just venting but don’t know how to do it properly without seeming like you need something tangible in return, like some advice or something.
I’m with you, OP. I generally just want to vent unless I specifically ask for advice. And I try not to offer advice unless my friends specifically ask for it. Fortunately, it’s usually pretty clear whether a thread on CC is for giving / getting advice or for just venting.
I’m a fixer, too. Part if it comes with the territory of being a mom, some of it is just part of my pragmatic nature. I agree with others that if you just want to vent and don’t want advice, state that up front.
I have had to learn from my kids a little as they’ve matured to focus more on listening and not advising.
However, what drives me nuts is someone who complains about the same things or complains constantly but doesn’t do anything to fix the situation or take some other steps, be it career, relationships, family, whatever. On the receiving end, that gets old really fast. Ask yourself if you are doing that.
There I am, giving advice again. 
^^ that too.
I don’t stay friends with people like that. They’re just not a good match for me–I have a deeply ingrained anti-authoritarian streak, and the minute someone starts giving me unsolicited advice is the minute I write them off, for better and/or worse.
“deeply ingrained anti-authoritarian streak”
Really?? 
haha. (Note to self: use reverse psychology on @marvin100)
The worst are those people who are quick to give advice without anyone venting or asking them. And they keep repeating the same thing over and over again (with slight variations). My usual reaction is to do just the opposite.
I have an all knowing brother. he should be an advice preacher. and worst off he is like a human bit pull…if he locks on to something he does not let go until he gets his way or you see the light.
Oh yeah. Lots of quick advice people out there. Unless the parent is currently in the thick of it with a similar child academically, nobody understands. It is so easy to say to sent your NMF to the local community college to save some money. Unless that parent has a NMF and is currently looking at schools, they cannot offer any relevant advice. I just find it annoying even though it is well intended.
In many ways it is like dating advice. Everyone has an idea on how easy it is to meet the right person. You only need to go here! lol. So Annoying.
I spend a lot of time with engineers. I have to explicitly say I don’t want them to fix something when I just want to vent.