@itsgettingreal21 ngl Same
huh ?
My DiL’s mother died unexpectedly this week, and my son and DiL are having to plan some sort of something with no idea what she wanted, no other family to help, no funds set aside, no money of their/our own to cover the costs, no idea what’s in the will or where it is, and no experience in grief or funerals.
Do your family a favor and get something in writing, tell them where it is, and set aside something to pay for it before disaster strikes.
9 Likes
I realize I’m resurrecting an old thread - H and I do not have our funeral arrangements set yet. Neither one of us cares much about what happens except we don’t want to spend a lot of money. H’s father has 4 burial plots in an adjacent state that will never be used and asked us to either use them or dispose of them and keep the cash to buy something closer to him. The cemetery doesn’t want to buy back the plots and told us to sell them on Craig’s List or find a broker to sell them for a fee. I called a local cemetery for pricing for us upon our demise and just about did myself in right then. I knew it was expensive but YIKES - I thought I could get cremated and scattered somewhere and that be the end of it but the cost of cremation is high and the cost of urns are high and cost of 2 urns to a plot is high because the plot is so darn high! I really wish it wouldn’t creep my kids out to just scatter us wherever they like…that would be my choice but at the moment they are not comfortable with that, nor having us sitting around on the mantle. I think we may just keep those plots in the neighboring state and they can stick us there. This is way more difficult than I thought it would be. I wonder if universities take old people if they donate their bodies to science?
1 Like
Contact a medical school and inquire. Many don’t use real cadavers anymore…but some do. Try PCOM Georgia…I’m not sure what they do now, but they used cadavers 6 years ago. And at the end, they had a lovely ceremony giving thanks and honoring the families who donated.
Contact medical schools in your state.
We will be cremated, but no urn and no burial spot. No cemetery plot. No grave stone. If you prepay now, it’s less costly and the arrangements are out of the way and done.
threeofthree thanks for the suggestion about inquiring into a cemetery possibly buying back a plot. 10 years ago when we buried my parents I bought an adjacent plot for myself/my family. No one now wants to be buried there (including me). I thought that (substantial) $ was lost - will check into it…thanks
1 Like
I posted this two years ago…but in case someone doesn’t feel like scrolling up…here it is again.
For Georgia residents only!
2 Likes
Yes, that is what I was trying to do - preplan, but we are probably a little late - we are both going on 68 in a few months. But, we’ve been raising children and taking care of the elders so just now getting around to handling these very important issues. My mother had a binder with everything in it and all prepaid, so easy on us, no decisions to be made or money to be spent…and, at 96 she outlived all her friends, so no funeral…just a viewing for our friends and graveside burial and a sweet poem she asked one of us to read.
2 Likes
My mother moved here when she was 75. We went to the funeral home here, and made all the arrangements and prepaid. She died less than two weeks after we made the arrangements.
As long as you are still alive, you aren’t too late to plan ahead😉
8 Likes
Well, the cemetery we were inquiring with does not buy them back and suggests you sell them on Craigs List or thru a broker who takes a 15% fee to advertise and handle the front end of the paperwork - the cemetery handles the title exchange. My in-laws bought these plots in 1958 and the deed says $270 for 4 gravesites and $67.50 for care and maintenance for eternity. The broker site selling plots at the same place says 4 gravesites go for $9-10k but not sure if anyone is actually buying them these days.
1 Like
A simple cremation isn’t ridiculously expensive. It can be, but there are plenty of less expensive options. My brother’s cremation in 2018 was $730 through a local cremation service. We could have opted for a viewing and/or an urn at an additional expense. My FIL’s cremation in 2021, which was handed by a regular funeral home, was just under $2,200 (no viewing or urn). You definitely have to shop around, because costs are incredibly high at some funeral homes. When my brother died, the hospital hospice folks gave us a detailed list of local funeral homes/cremation services that included prices. It was really helpful at a time when we definitely needed that help.
2 Likes
Yes, I was quoted a minimum of $4,000 for cremation, not including an urn or any services.
Minimum of $7500 for a crypt which will hold 3 urns
Minimum of $5000 for a grave which will hold 2 urns
Just the basics, there would be other costs not listed still excluding a funeral.
There was a thread a few weeks ago and I don’t recall where it was, probably under the Inflation thread where someone mentioned how much “value” calculates into their decision to buy something regardless of how bad they want it or how much money they have to buy it. I feel this way, at the moment, about my burial options.
1 Like
They just might be. Some cemeteries don’t have a lot of available lots…and the ones for sale can be just what someone is looking for.
2 Likes
We have a memorial garden at church, where ashes can be interred. The current cost for members is $550 ($750 for non members). My FIL is interred in the memorial garden at their church (not sure what the cost was, since my in laws had prepaid). It’s a nice option if you’re a member of a church that has a memorial garden.
1 Like
Yes! Actually, I was looking for a “scattering garden” somewhere close by. My church doesn’t have one but perhaps another around does. 
1 Like
As someone who just had to make decisions for 2 unexpected deaths a month apart, all I can say is, at least write down, cremation/no cremation - I chose cremation for them both. I can only hope I did what they would have wanted.
5 Likes
Our church garden is easily accessible and very peaceful. The one at my in laws’ church is large, not quite as welcoming feeling, and in an atrium area, so you have to go through the church to access it. It’s not an issue for us, since neither H nor SIL lives nearby (each of them retained some of his ashes to keep near them) … but if I were looking for a place that I would visit, I would want it to be more like the garden at our church.
2 Likes
I figure anybody who does not preplan is deciding by default for cremation…. too much turnaround time (and money) needed for other options.
4 Likes
My dad’s 2017 cremation was inexpensive (under $750). Funeral home sent him to me via USPS that had a big label saying “human remains” or something like that. Our super sweet mail carrier rang the bell (he knew I worked from home) to hand it to me directly and say sorry for your loss.
Set Dad aside until I could round the family up for a burial at sea that worked for everyone. We chartered a large yacht. Couldn’t have asked for a better celebration of life!
8 Likes