<p>Cheers:</p>
<p>Your guest was beyond rude. I would have turned the lights back on and said
“In MY house, we prefer not having to squint at our food.” As for the pepper mill, I’d have said, louldy, looking toward the kitchen, “Waiter, could you bring the pepper mill, please?”
And I would never ever have invited the woman back to my house.</p>
<p>"She may have felt that it was a little bit of an imposition on guests to bring not only birthday gifts, but food. "</p>
<p>The food was to be the gift. The birthday girl didn’t want any birthday gifts.</p>
<p>Marge also without asking me asked guests to bring a poem to give the birthday girl. That was a well intentioned idea, however IMO it is much easier preparing a dish (or picking up something from a deli) than selecting a poem to give to someone. I didn’t have any rancor, however, about her asking guests to bring a poem because I can understand that Marge probably thought that wasn’t a big deal, and I don’t think it was. I don’t feel the same about the food, however, since she did ask me about the potluck, and I said that was the kind of party I wanted to host.</p>
<p>Cheers-- My jaw dropped at your story. Was the guest a new acquaintance or a friendless person whom you felt sorry for? It’s hard for me to imagine that such a person would get many invitations. Once would be enough for most hosts to abide having her.</p>
<p>Her husband is THE most darling man–a real storyteller and charmer. This woman has changed so dramatically in the last two years–I hardly ever see her anymore but relented so that some visitors could meet her husband.</p>
<p>I’m not sure what her other friends think–it’s not my circle. Her behavior is so odd now, I wonder about brain tumours etc.</p>
<p>cheers</p>
<p>I would wonder about brain tumor or mental illness too.</p>
<p>northsatarmom</p>
<p>What a weird situation!</p>
<p>btw, I prefer spitting tacks, but I guess nails would work just as well.</p>
<p>I have a friend whose behavior turned odd and it turned out she had a brain tumor.</p>
<p>Brain tumor or early onset Alzheimer’s?</p>
<p>Sometimes odd behavior is a symptom of some illness; and sometimes, it’s just rudeness.</p>
<p>Back in college, I invited some friends over for dinner. One of them brought a guest along (without clearing with me first). As I was slaving over the hot stove, the guest walked into the kitchen. Being an inexpert cook, I got flustered and dropped something. The uninvited guest promptly said: “I hope you’ll wash it before you drop it into the pan.” I looked at him and replied: “In restaurants, diners are not expected to walk into the kitchen; in private homes, good manners dictate that they eat whatever is served to them without demur.”
He walked out of the kitchen and I proceeded to wash the errant piece of food, as I had planned to do all along.</p>