Before anybody jumps on me, let me say that I love my mom and I am grateful for everything that she has done for me. However there are somethings about living with her that are fustrating. I dislike the fact that she is always in my business, snooping through my room and reading my mail. I am treated to the same tired lectures everyday. I have my own way of doing things that work for me, but I feel like she is constantly pushing her ways on me. has anybody else ever dealt with a hovering parent?
Sorry can’t help you with the hovering parent, but as far as mail goes at least- I’d suggest getting a PO Box. I’d also not keep anything in your room that you wouldn’t want her to find.
As the mom, I would suggest taking 15 minutes after school/work and talk to her every few days. If you keep her in the loop, she’s less likely to snoop!
But I feel for you. I TRY to stay out of my kid’s business. It is easier when he communicates tho. Good luck.
I feel you - I commute as well. Personally, I’ve had issues because I feel like an adult and want to manage my corner of the house the way I want. In my (not-as-humble-as-it-should-be) opinion, my mom cares too much about how clean the house is. (What - there is one dirty bowl in the sink? The house is falling to pieces!) Sometimes she can be a little overbearing, although I know she tries hard not to be. It helps me to try and consider her point of view, that a) this is how she has always run the house and the fact that she lets me still live there doesn’t mean I get to change the rules, b) that she is trying to cope with a rapidly emptying nest and it’s hard, and c) that I have qualities that annoy her as well, and we need to figure out how to coexist while acknowledging those annoyances. It’s definitely hard when you live at home. I think sometimes just the living situation breeds the feeling of hovering parents, let alone the fact that it makes it hard for them to resist hovering. It’s like a roommate that has been in charge for the past 18+ years and just now you are coming into your own, lol. I hope it gets better!
Oh, also look for stress in your life that might be bleeding into the relationship with your mom. I was very unhappy in my major for quite a while before finally changing it, and that led me to keep a smile on at school and dump my negativity at home. I’m not saying that’s your problem - just that my experience is that stress in other areas of your life can hurt the mom relationship.
Is your mom a little overbearing? Or is it possible she has a personality disorder? Google OCPD and Narcisstic Personality Disorder and see if these sound familiar.
Was it your choice to live at home? I would suggest doing everything you can to move out next year.