<p>I’m wondering what people think about this. I’ve been to just a handful of weddings in the past five years. One wedding had a gap of several hours between the wedding and the reception. I’m glad we were local because we could go home, change clothes, relax, and get a few things done. I wondered about out-of-town guests. Maybe there were activities set up for them? It seems like it would make a long day for them.</p>
<p>I know that at our church you have two times to choose from for weddings: 11:30 a.m. or 1:30 p.m. It seems early to start a reception at 3 (if you have the 1:30 wedding), but the thought of the gap bothers me. I don’t have any children who are engaged yet–just thinking ahead. ;)</p>
<p>Would love to hear about your experiences–as the guest or the host.</p>
<p>Are you talking about having the wedding & reception at two different locations? We did that. We were married in a park and had the reception in a church on the other side of lake Washington.
It worked out ok, but very small wedding.
No one from out of the area.</p>
<p>My wretched niece had what I believe was a five-hour gap two years ago. The wedding was held in upper manhattan, the reception was downtown and she made no arrangements for the guests. It was awful because no one lived in Manhattan. I think that if people are reserving an entire day for your wedding the bridg and groom shouldn’t cast them adrift for hours at a time.</p>
<p>I’ve been to plenty of weddings like this. Most of my relatives have Catholic weddings, and because of Saturday evening Mass, the weddings have to be earlier if on Saturday. It is a pain if you are in a strange town with no arrangements, we have been invited to ‘hospitality suites’ at a hotel or even to a gathering at the bride’s parents’ home.</p>
<p>We had a church wedding and our reception was in a hotel about 20 minutes away from the church. We had a gap while we did pictures at a nearby park. I think the wedding started at 3:30 and the reception at 6. We provided guests with non alcoholic drinks and cheese and cracker trays in the lobby outside the ballroom about an hour before the official reception started. </p>
<p>I know some people thought the gap was long but we used every minute of it for our pictures. During the reception we served a full dinner and had an open bar for four hours. The gap wasn’t ideal for all the guests but I feel like we provided enough hospitality to make up for the inconvenience.</p>
<p>If you have any time wedding besides 4 or 5 p.m. And want an evening reception, there will be a gap between the ceremony and reception. Sorry, but I don’t think it’s a big deal. As an out of town guest, you would know about this when you accept the invitation. We have been to a number of such weddings, including both friends and relatives. The time between ceremony and wedding was either used to see the place where the wedding was located, or to relax. In one case, our whole extended family had a chance to visit during that time. It was great!</p>
<p>I recently went to a morning wedding with reception immediately following. They chose a nice brunch buffet for the food…mimosas and bloody marys, Belgian waffle station, omelette station and a full brunch buffet in between. It was one of the best wedding receptions we have attended. Food was perfect for that time of the day…I mean really…who needs Prime rib, salmon or a pasta entree at 1:00 p.m.?</p>
<p>That brunch reception sounds wonderful. Was there dancing?</p>
<p>My issue with my niece’s wedding is that I think she should have made some arrangements at the very least for the elderly members of the immediate family, like my mother, but she didn’t. Because she couldn’t buy class with a coupon. This is something that I will have my kids consider.</p>
<p>We just attended a wedding last week. Ceremony was at a chapel, and the reception was a few hours later about 1/2 hour away. We had 2 sets of directions, the direct route and the scenic route. We took the scenic route along the coast, visited a park and my wife changed into her long dress in the back seat of the car. :D</p>
<p>I’ve noticed this trend as well. It ties up the entire day and night for the guests. If you are, say, a neighbor/friend/colleague of the parents, and not a relative or close friend of the couple, it’s very inconvenient and makes me not want to attend. I would much rather attend either a late afternoon wedding/evening reception or morning wedding/wedding “breakfast” (what thumper describes), rather than to be hung up for more than 12 hours.</p>
<p>The long gap also encourages people to drink a lot out of boredom, so you’ve got a lot of exhausted and impaired people at the end of the reception.</p>
<p>I am baffled more and more by modern weddings. You have guests — guests — that are treated like stage props. The bride and groom are the hosts of the wedding, and as hosts, it is their responsibility to make the event a happy and comfortable one for their guests. We have turned down reception after reception because the hosts wanted us to sit around for hours so they could take 200 photos instead of 100. When your photo op is more important than your friends, take it as a flag.</p>
<p>OTOH, we also attended weddings where the guests were thoughtfully provided with everything from sightseeing directions to flip flops to munchies for the ride home. You can be the center of attention and still be kind. I think a big dead spot in the day is rude.</p>
<p>Zoos…yes there was dancing. Reception ended about 4. </p>
<p>My own sister had a morning catholic wedding. The reception was about 5 hours later. We were out of town guests, and really enjoyed the break. We just relaxed all afternoon. If we had been more “local” we would have gone home for the afternoon.</p>
<p>These days most brides/grooms have wedding websites. Included are things to do in the area of the wedding.</p>
<p>I personally do NOT think the wedding party and family should be the weekend planners for the guests. They are planning a wedding! Providing information for the guests is a nice added touch. Folks KNOW where the wedding will be, and also usually have at least a couple of months to see what kinds of things are available themselves.</p>
<p>These days, many wedding guests will be from out of town.</p>
<p>If grandma is coming, it would be nice if other family members could include her in THEIR plans.</p>
<p>At my niece’s wedding, no one was local to manhattan, but too local to have had hotel rooms. Also, parking is very expensive in Manhattan over so many hours and multiple venues. This is why it is very common in this area for people to come to the reception but not the ceremony.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, we didnt get to do that with my niece’s wedding. We had to be there, wheelchair and inaccessible bathroom and all. However, it was so miserable that we all feel that we have done our duty and owe no further obligation to her. I also learned what not to do as the hosting family, which is very valuable! Sometimes it is good to see things from the other side.</p>
<p>I have a preference for morning weddings as I am a morning person. When I was getting married, I could not imagine sitting around all day waiting to get married – get up and do it, was my approach. I was married at an 11 a.m. church ceremony in Manhattan and our reception was held immediately following at a club three blocks away from the church.</p>
<p>My D is being married in late September and she and her fiance have their ceremony scheduled for 10 a.m. on a Sunday morning, with reception on site (museum grounds) immediately following. There will be a brunch buffet with mimosas, etc. and several light through more substantial entrees. And yes, there will be dancing.</p>
<p>Re pictures, they are doing something very different – following the reception, the photographer, bridal party and immediate families will board a chartered trolley which will take the group on a tour of various local landmarks (location is Boston – the Public Garden, etc.) for formal pictures. I think it is nice that D and her fiance will be mixing with their guests throughout the reception, and are putting what would work well for their guests ahead of how her hair will look at that later point! </p>
<p>I am all for bride and groom doing what works well for them, but do appreciate when it also is convenient and gracious for the guests. I really do not care for “gap” weddings but they seem to often be tied to the trend towards evening receptions.</p>
<p>Jem, the wedding plans sound beautiful, but I can’t help notice that there wasn’t a thread. Surely your family didn’t plan a wedding without our input.</p>
<p>zoosermom - I know you’ve had a lot of issues with your niece’s wedding about how you perceived she treated your mom, but I have to say that I don’t think it is the bride/groom’s responsibility to make sure everyone is entertained all the time. They have hundreds of guests to consider, I think other immediate family (like you) could be gracious enough to help take care of your own mother if she wanted to attend the ceremony.</p>
<p>I have been to many weddings with a gap between the ceremony and the reception, especially in NYC due to lack of availability for various facilities. I have also been invited to the reception, but not to the ceremony because the ceremony was for family only. </p>
<p>I don’t think most happy couples want to inconvenient their guests, but sometimes things are just out of their control. As a guest, I try to go with the flow and not add extra demand or complain. If the venue didn’t work for me, I could always choose not to go, but if I was so close to the couple that I felt I needed to be there then I would just suck it up.</p>
<p>I guess I’m used to it from all the morning b’nai mitzvah ceremonies and the evening receptions. (There’s a reason for having it this way, that depends on how religiously observant one might be, but that’s for another thread.) We’ve actually had fewer weddings with the gap in between!</p>
<p>For my daughter’s *bat mitzvah<a href=“morning%20ceremony,%20evening%20reception”>/I</a>, we had a “day room” for those locals too close to rent a room but too far to go home, at the same hotel that we booked for our out of town guests. They could use all the facilities of the hotel, and have a place to change (although depending on how many wanted to use the room at the same time . . . ). Those who were local went home, and those who had rooms used them.</p>
<p>
Jewish weddings, on the other hand, cannot be held on Saturdays until after sundown (no weddings on Shabbat). The ceremonies themselves tend to be short (under an hour - my own Orthodox ceremony was 20 minutes), and the Saturday night reception can begin immediately.</p>
<p>We also did something unusual - we took pictures before the ceremony (that’s not the unusual part - there’s no Jewish supersition about not seeing the bride before the wedding), and had our cocktail hour during that time. Then we had the ceremony, and went right into dinner so our guests had a little time to get hungry again! And no, we didn’t have any drunks.</p>
<p>S & DIL are having their ceremony and reception at one location. Ceremony starts at 4:30. Photographer will do some group shots with them and attendants (including a shoot at the library next door) prior to the wedding, then we will duck out during the wine/hors d’oeuvres hour to take family shots. There is a nice park five minutes away. Reception starts at 6. This is a largely DIY event so the reality is that DH and I will need to be on-site (or not gone for long) most of the day.</p>
<p>Will probably take S & DIL out to the local state park and perhaps to the Albert Einstein monument in DC for some other shots the day after. I will be shooting those.</p>