<p>I think you may be right since I see no bar mitzvahs listed during havdalah services in the last year at our temple. It’s kind of a moot point around here, since most Reform and many Conservative families are not so observant that they wouldn’t consider a Saturday afternoon party. Some observant families just do a luncheon with family on Saturday and a party for the local kids on Sunday or Saturday night. But with so many of out of towners as well as handicapped relatives, no way was I going to do a gap in any case. </p>
<p>garland, Yes, extended family photos are very common. I also insisted on table photos, something that isn’t always done in today’s photojournalistic style. When I look back at the albums, it’s always the pictures of people who were there that we focus on the most. Especially those that are no longer with us.</p>
<p>emilybee,
Not trying to be argumentative, honestly, just instructive for those not familiar with Jewish traditions. I just checked the sunset time in my area of the country for Saturday, August 16th, and the Sabbath does not end for observant individuals until after 8:30 p.m., since it formally ends about one hour after actual sunset. This presumably means not starting a ceremony until after 9 p.m. since you are not supposed to travel during the Sabbath. All this to say why summertime Jewish weddings are often held on Sundays. :)</p>
<p>I thought it was when you could see three stars in the sky.
All very interesting…</p>
<p>momof3sons-
A Labor day wedding sounds perfect!. Memorial day too. </p>
<p>My FIL was pretty religious. Knew about many holidays I’ve honestly never heard of. He took the calendar and looked at weekends in the summer, saying “not here, not here, not here… HERE”, and basically told us the weekend we could get married (2 days after his birthday, coincidentally). Good thing my mom found a venue (I told her she could have fun with it-- we’d show up). She found a great venue where there was an old historic mansion on the grounds of the hotel. They had just built a gazebo outside, in which we were married (first ever, so apparently our wedding photos were in their advertising for a while) and the reception was in the different rooms of the mansion, with the doors open to the patio/musicians/food stations outside. It was beautiful, except &$=&<em>&$(&%$</em>(^&+$ HOT!!</p>
<p>JEM, the wedding saws awesome. I always thought had my older d stayed up in the Boston area, the MOS would be ideal location for a wedding. </p>
<p>In my situation, I was married on a Sunday evening, as that was not so unusual back then. My husband grew up Orthodox so a Saturday evening would have been out of the question, and yes we did family pictures prior to the ceremony. There is not the prohibition of seeing the bride prior to the ceremony. In our case we were living together and drove to the venue in our own car so my husband had plenty of opportunity to see my dress beforehand. This was back in the late 70’s. I must say that our doorman was pretty surprised. Our big discussion coming home and this will resonate with New Yorkers… try for a safe spot for alternate side or spring for the parking ticket, yes or no???</p>
<p>We went to a wedding-with-gap ages ago. The bride was an administrative assistant at H’s office. Five hour gap between church and reception.
Since we lived closer than any one else, all the ‘office’ guests came to our apartment. We had nothing to do but drink. It was horrible.
Also, there were virtually no male guests at the church and most of the women who did attend were there in curlers and jeans…I am dead serious.
Later at the reception, the women were dressed to the nines and there was an absolutely disgusting amount of mediocre food. </p>
<p>Oddly, two of my adult girlfriends can describe eerily similar weddings around the same time and place.</p>
<p>Got all sorts of hits- anywhere from one hour after sunset to when there are three stars visible (and then a time given) to 30 minutes after sunset to 40 minutes after sunset to approximately this or approximately that time to its variable.</p>
<p>These were from synagogue websites or the websites of various Jewish organizations.</p>
<p>When I wanted a Jewish wedding on a summer Sat night (my anniversary is next week), my father said the rabbi wouldn’t get there until about 9:30pm, so the wedding was scheduled for Sun afternoon instead. </p>
<p>We’re going to a Jewish wedding in a couple of weeks that starts at 7:30pm according to the invitation. This is at a reform temple, so I don’t know if they allow “cheating” sundown.</p>
<p>Well, I do understand the hatred of Sunday evening weddings, but I have a better one for you - I got married on a Tuesday!</p>
<p>Let me explain. My grandmother, may her memory be a blessing, kept kosher as did many other relatives of her generation. So we needed a kosher catering hall. We decided in November to get married in August (school and work reasons). No Saturday weddings, and no Friday night weddings, for reasons already explained. By the time we got to the hall, all the Sundays had already been booked for the next August! So we would have had to either move the wedding around for a significant period of time (starting work in September, so wouldn’t have had time off for at least 6 months), or choose another date.</p>
<p>In Jewish tradition, weddings were often held on Tuesdays. Why, you ask? Tuesday is the third day of creation (Saturday being the 7th), according to Genesis. And it is the only day on which G-d said that “It was good” twice. So it is considered doubly lucky.</p>
<p>So we chose Tuesday. Worked out well for us - we had a lovely wedding, most of those we cared about came, and we were able to invite everyone who otherwise “would have been offended”, and 90% of them didn’t come! Anyone who felt “put upon” for having to take a day or two off simply didn’t attend.</p>
<p>Don’t think anyone HATES or feels “put upon” by the date of a wedding or the gap. Just expressing thoughts and experiences. For us, we obviously wanted to share in these celebrations and attended both events (my DH’s family is huge, and these were not “immediate” relatives, but children of cousins), but was it a bit inconvenient for some of the out of towners?-- sure. Actually, come to think of it, maybe because the family is so huge, picking a Sunday night might have conveniently cut down on those who were invited so as not to be offended. Maybe that was the hope/plan all along ;)</p>
<p>A Tuesday? LOL. Well, would not be a big issue for the locals. And curlers and jeans? Hope that was at your house, woody and not at the wedding!</p>
<p>We just had a big birthday luncheon. We expected maybe a 1/3 acceptance as it was in the summer, an hour and a half away and at 11:30 am. Wrong. Got a 2/3 acceptance!!! :eek:</p>