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I agree, also. I remember from another thread there was a poster who didn’t plan to go to wedding ceremonies, and only planned to go to the receptions if there was free-flowing booze (and just wine didn’t count, if I remember correctly). I wonder how many people feel that way? Then again, with the divorce rate as high as it is, maybe it’s no surprise that people don’t think the ceremony is very important?</p>
<p>Maybe the tattoos were all the same - a memento of the wedding. I imagine myself saying “You know I love you but, no, I don’t want your names and wedding date tattooed on my body, thanks anyway.” </p>
<p>I do love it when people feel free to shake up traditions. I remember feeling very intimidated by the expectations for a wedding and wanting, at age 23 and doing all the planning alone, to do everything right. Today I wouldn’t really care what people think but then I cared rather desperately.</p>
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<p>D’s ceremony and reception are taking place on the grounds of a museum situated along the Charles River. Ceremony in an open air pavilion adjacent to the river, reception in large tent (open sided assuming weather is good, clear sides down if weather poor) on same grounds. There is an esplanade along the river where I imagine pics will be taken conveniently at any point. (D and her fiance are actually planning to have croquet, etc. set up on the lawn for any guests who want to play. So guests can be mingling and gathering along the esplanade or playing sedate lawn games and “grazing” (LOL) while still observing bride and groom against wonderful views. I expect we will have pics of bride and groom playing croquet!)</p>
<p>As I have mentioned in other posts, following the reception (wedding 10 am, flows immediately into cocktail hour/hors d’oeuvres, then reception) bride, groom, attendants and immediate families are boarding a trolley hired to take the group and the photographer to a few special spots. But that will be after the other guests have left the reception. These will be the main group/formal shots, I imagine. </p>
<p>Reception ends at three, so five hours total for most guests – but all wedding guests are given free passes to the museum for use at any time over the weekend, and I imagine some guests will “do” the museum at that point, while those of us on the trolley are visiting Boston sites for posed pics.</p>
<p>This (doing most formal pics after party) is different from how just about anyone else would handle it, but it is how bride and groom (truly unique individuals themselves) decided they wanted to prioritize things, and photographer is on board. Their style is very low maintenance re appearances so hopefully they will not be too wilted by that point. Plus an advantage of the early start time is that they have plenty of time later in the day.</p>
<p>"Also, and apologies in advance to those who chose this, but I dont get Sunday night weddings. Its challenging enough to travel long distances to attend, but to have to miss work as well… is an additional challenge. "</p>
<p>I’ve never been to a Sunday evening wedding which wasn’t followed by a Monday holiday. They always seem to happen for me Labor Day weekend - which messes up my Labor Day weekend at the USO. </p>
<p>As for pictures when there is no gap - bride, MOB, FOB, brides immediate family and bridesmaids pics taken before the wedding (mine were taken at my parent’s house, for example) Groom, MOG, FOG, grooms immediate family, ushers, taken where wedding is. </p>
<p>Then during the reception, big family pics and bride & groom and wedding party pics are taken. Yes, everyone misses bits and bobs. It’s usually done when dessert is being served. </p>
<p>I also know that now a lot of the brides and grooms do the arty pics about town a few days before the wedding.</p>
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<p>My (jewish) wedding was immediately following the sundown and the reception was immediately following the ceremony. We took pictures prior to reception. I know it is not according the rules, but I personally am not religious and it was a reform synagogue, where it was OK (we did not take pictures in the sanctuary prior to sundown - only during the ceremony). </p>
<p>Majority of my son’s staged bar mitzvah’s pictures were taken on Monday the week of bar mitzvah. It was a pain in you know what to make sure that everyone looked the same on Monday and on Saturday, but it was unavoidable with the rules at the synagogue. My sister was out of town, so the pictures with her family were quickly taken prior to the service.</p>
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<p>Me neither. I had a Sunday evening wedding, but it was over Labor Day weekend.</p>
<p>YK, I’m realizing that the benefit of having a small family is that all these family pictures just don’t take that much time! I have a sister (married with a child), mother, father and grandmother. My husband has two sisters (one married with 3 children) and his parents. That’s it. There’s really no extended family to speak of. There aren’t cousins and aunts and uncles and all of that that would be important enough to have in pictures. From my kids’ perspective, they have 3 aunts, 2 uncles and 4 cousins. That’s it. I hear stories of people who have dozens of cousins and I just can’t relate!!</p>
<p>Is that a thing to do extended family pictures? we just had ones of immediate families. I figure there were enough cameras and willing hands around that anyone who wanted other group shots would get them. (but we did have a sort of DIY air to the whole thing.) I guess because we haven’t had any more formal weddings in the family, I don’t even know what the norms are.</p>
<p>The recent Sunday night wedding we attended was totally across the country and not anywhere near a holiday/three day weekend. Also happened a summer or so ago as well-- but that one was at least on this coast (though not on a holiday weekend but was held on a Sunday afternoon). I do not like to have to miss a day of work for an event like this. We went to both (family events) but was inconvenient. A holiday weekend would have been fine (though airfare might have been higher, but oh well). Our bar mitzvahs were both on 3 day weekends.</p>
<p>*** eta- the one on this coast, we had to pay to stay over Sunday night near the airport (the wedding was 3 hrs away from the closest airport) and took an early morning commuter flight, so was able to get some work in. The one on the other coast, the parents didnt negotiate the lower hotel rate for Sunday night- even though the wedding didnt even start til 4:30!! ::mad: We were able to get the hotel to honor the block rate, and flew home Monday.</p>
<p>I’ve been to plenty of afternoon receptions with dancing. They always felt perfectly festive and pleasant. </p>
<p>Actually when I think of the classic wedding, I think of late morning/early afternoon in the spring/summer with everyone dressed in light-colored, airy attire. 
Obviously, if one wants a black tie or black tie optional party the evening is going to work better.</p>
<p>I think of it as the difference between attending the opera at Glyndebourne and picnicking on the lawn, vs Thursday night at the Met. Both are great experiences.</p>
<p>^ Agreed – plus feel that variety (in wedding styles as in so much else) adds spice to life. Wouldn’t it be boring if everybody did **the exact same thing <a href=“perfect%20as%20it%20might%20be”>/B</a>?</p>
<p>I am debating between a traditional evening dinner/dancing reception, and renting the living room and dining room of a historical home for a dinner party style reception. Ceremony and reception would be in the same place back to back. Family is expecting a dj and a bar, but I don’t think they realize we only have 50 people to invite and most of them are older and single. Not sure renting a fancy hall and booking a band/DJ is the most practical use of funds in that case, and my fiance and I don’t drink or like to dance.</p>
<p>If we do end up with a dance floor, I am booking a swing band and taking lessons. It’ll be fun no matter what we do. I just want to wear a pretty dress and go on the honeymoon.</p>
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<p>Yikes, Zoosermom…remind me not to get on your bad side! ;)</p>
<p>Diligently taking notes for planning my own wedding (WAYYYYYY down the road. No guy in the picture…slim pickings in Student Affairs/Higher Ed.)</p>
<p>I never imagined having a huge gap. I’d like to have an afternoon ceremony and a simple reception. I’m not a super-fancy person, and for me it’s more about being around people I want to celebrate with than the food or the dancing or whatever.</p>
<p>I do think it’s important to make sure the guests are comfortable, but I’m such a hostess and such a “mom” that I’d do that anyway. I will have the flip-flops so the girls can take off their heels. I’ve also joked with my mom that I want to have In-N-Out cater the wedding…I think she has a mini-stroke every time I bring it up.</p>
<p>The financially practical side of me brought up using fake flowers to my best friend and future MOH once, and she nearly had an anyeurism and screamed “I’ll pay for the <em>expletive</em> flowers!” She means well.</p>
<p>I’m with Emaheevul. I just want to put on the pretty dress and go on vacation. The rest will work itself out.</p>
<p>I was intrigued by the thread about “unplugged” weddings…may consider that.</p>
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Good thing you clarified that! You would have gotten on my bad side had there been an engagement I didn’t know about!</p>
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<p>Is this the Museum of Science in Cambridge? We were just there this weekend.</p>
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<p>I think in general that’s a very unfair statement. First, the divorce rate is NOT 50% like everyone assumes – that’s from some numbskull who calculated the # of divorces in a given year divided by the # of marriages in a given year, when the proper denominator is all marriages that were existing, not just those during that given year. It got picked up as lore, but it’s not true. The true divorce rate is a lot lower. Second, what makes you think that people who wind up getting divorced weren’t as hopeful as everyone else that it would work? No one gets married thinking “well, if this doesn’t work, I’ll get a divorce and it will be as inconsequential as going to the movies.” I don’t see why the ceremony itself HAS to be important or a focus for the marriage to be taken seriously. It’s like those annoying new mothers who focus on the moment of birth as opposed to their lifetime with their child.</p>
<p>FlyMeToTheMoon.
Our photos were done just before the wedding, late Sunday afternoon. As I mentioned, in the Jewish tradition if one is somewhat observant, you cannot have a Saturday evening wedding during the summertime, because it would have to start VERY late, like close to 10 p.m., after the Sabbath ended. So, my experience with summertime Jewish weddings is that they are held on Sunday afternoons and occasionally Sunday evenings, like mine, when the Monday is a holiday. </p>
<p>jym626-I understand that some people don’t want their Labor Day weekend “messed up” with a wedding, ;), but that didn’t seem to cut down attendance at our wedding, although my father probably wished it would have! (We had a large wedding!)</p>
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<p>Nope! Exactly zilch. Trust me, as a full-time grad student who also runs a building of about 250 people and manages RAs, I can barely take care of myself; worrying about someone else is the LAST thing I have time for.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl–I think some celebrities maybe view marriage and divorce that way. Publicity and nothing more. (My opinion, clearly I don’t know these people and can’t speak to what they’re actually thinking.)</p>
<p>“As I mentioned, in the Jewish tradition if one is somewhat observant, you cannot have a Saturday evening wedding during the summertime, because it would have to start VERY late, like close to 10 p.m.”</p>
<p>I was married on a Sat. evening in mid August and sundown wasn’t that late. My ceremony was at 7:30. We may have cheated a tad, but no more than 15 minutes or so.</p>
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Yes, it is. D and her then boyfriend both lived in Back Bay, and were boating on the river when they saw a wedding in process and declared that it would be a wonderful site for a wedding. After they got engaged it was the only site they considered. It happens that her fiance is a scientist.
(The MOS has been named a “Best of Boston” wedding site. The duck boats blast their horns when they notice a wedding taking place!)
D always wanted an outdoor wedding, and we just hope the weather cooperates.
The site coordinators have been great so far. (But I think this is the first time they have been approached about having croquet set up.)</p>