<p>I just remembered something. Years ago, I was one of a group of people working as low-paid temps on a big litigation project. We found out that one of our co-workers, who was a very, very shy young woman, had gone out and cashed her paycheck the previous day, then been robbed by a pickpocket. We did a quick whip-round, and everyone put in around $10. We were able to replace her lost money in full. When she came back from lunch and found the cash in an envelope at her workspace, she was overcome.</p>
<p>I was the recipient of a nice gesture today. My D and I were having lunch at a university food court (it was early and most people have already left for the semester so very few people were around) when the only other person there announced to the cashier that she wanted to pay for our lunch. She did give a price limit, and I kept politely refusing, but she insisted. Turns out her dining bucks would expire if she didn’t use them today.</p>
<p>Me, being a selfish person, wondered why she didn’t just stock up on granola bars and chips, but I’m grateful for her gesture. And now I want to pay it forward somehow.</p>
<p>I was in a local shop where the person in front of me did not have the money she needed to pay for her purchases. I told her I’d be happy to pay for them. We left the store chatting and I reassured her it was nothing to be ashamed of…</p>
<p>just last week I was waiting for a bus in NYC, when I realized they wouldn’t accept dollar bills, and a young woman offered to use her Metro card for my fare. I was so pleased and handed her the few dollars, she refused and said this small act would make her day. We then chatted as the bus took another 20 minutes to arrive and it restored my faith in humanity. As a former NYer I especially like that it happened in NYC!</p>
<p>I have been on line in the grocery store and have paid for purchases of the folks in front of me.</p>
<p>Somemom…I have paid for the people behind me several times. I’m not paying for the WHOLE line, just the next two or three people. Those folks don’t pay at all. If they choose to pay it forward another day, fine.</p>
<p>This year, we got a secret angel child from a local tree. It was fun shopping for a little child again. We got the things on her list, plus added a number of other things.</p>
<p>I live in Brooklyn, where the NY Times had a series about a family living in a disgusting homeless shelter with a bright daughter in a local middle school.</p>
<p>I live in the next neighborhood to the east, where there was a discussion on a neighborhood email list about some kind of help we could give to the school the girl attends. Someone suggested we look closer to home, and a principal at a local elementary school gave us a list of kids in precarious housing situations and their genders and ages. Every kid was taken almost immediately.</p>
<p>The kid I was helping is a 12-year-old male sibling of a student at the school. I posted to another list of parents of teens in NYC asking for suggestions (I wound up giving him a Target gift card and a subway/bus fare card to get there and back), and many parents on that list wanted to help. A member of the list with a teenage kid said she works as an assistant principal in a small high school that has many shelter and foster kids. The teachers gather gift cards and do a raffle, which they rig to make sure the neediest kids get the good gift cards. She said many of the kids use their gift cards to buy presents for family members.</p>
<p>On Monday I mailed that one out, and today I dropped off the 12-year-old boy’s gift.</p>
<p>I am well below the median income (my daughter gets free lunch in high school) but I have to count my blessings.</p>
<p>“And now I want to pay it forward somehow.”</p>
<p>Our car broke down in the middle of proverbial nowhere many years ago in the middle of the state at Christmas. We are talking empty road with nothing at either end. And we didn’t have a lot of money (or even AAA). Way before cell phones. Truck stopped, got us a tow truck, hauled us to a shop. They were sort of in a hurry at the shop–they were late to the church for the Christmas pageant which was basically involved everyone in town–the guy who picked us up–the shop owner–the guy who fixed our car. They were so giving when we really needed it. I always think of that experience when I’m helping someone else.</p>
<p>It sounds cheesy just to say it but some of these stories remind me of that song about the guy in the truck who changed the old ladies’ tire but wouldn’t take money and then she went to the diner and had a waitress who was heavily pregnant…“The Chain of Love.” Makes me cry every. dang. time.</p>
<p>He was driving home one evening
In his beat up pontiac
When an old lady flagged him down
Her mercedes had a flat
He could see that she was frightened
Standing out there in the snow
'Til he said I’m here to help you ma’am
By the way my name is joe </p>
<p>She said I’m from st. louis
And I’m only passing through
I must have seen a hundred cars go by
This is awful nice of you
When he changed the tire
And closed her trunk
And was about to drive away
She said how much do I owe you
Here’s what he had to say </p>
<p>You don’t owe me a thing, I’ve been there too
Someone once helped me out
Just the way I’m helping you
If you really want to pay me back
Here’s what you do
Don’t let the chain of love end with you</p>
<p>Our chorus adopts kids for gift giving at Christmas at the elementary school we meet at. We get age, gender, and their specific requests. The teacher in charge told us to NOT give gift cards because sadly the parents often take the cards and the children don’t receive any gifts.</p>
<p>SR=senior, sorry for any confusion.</p>
<p>The folks who attended our support group meetings were surprised and happy to get a little wrapped gift. They are older and mostly in poor health. I am not sure any of them get much in the way of gifts and I think a new dishtowel helps brighten up a kitchen inexpensively. I will give more wrapped dishtowels to any folks who attend tonight’s support group meeting as well.</p>
<p>I have never understood the paying it forward at Starbucks either. There is a program where every day, the owner of a modest family-style diner pays for the tab of the table of one diner dressed in military uniform, whether the person is dining alone or with an entire table. He has given away over $5K in meals so far since he started the program and some other businesses and individuals are making contributions so he can continue and expand the program. That program seems like a nice idea. Thee military folks are also publicly thanked for serving our country.</p>
<p>gouf78, i thought of that. In the Times series about the homeless family, that sort of thing happens often.</p>
<p>I thought of several gifts for this 12-year-old boy (skateboard? should I get a helmet for him too, that he’d never wear? basketball?) but I figured that the principal would help in this situation. I made a point of giving him a Metrocard too so he could get to Target and back home.</p>
<p>Even if one can’t cure all a person’s ills with one gesture, it feels great to do something kind for someone, whether it’s holding a door open for the person behind you or someone struggling in some way, giving a financial gift, serving a meal at a soup kitchen, or any other number of small but heartfelt acts. People who have no desire to extend a kindness to strangers and prefer to allocate all their good will to their own families certainly are under no obligation to do otherwise. But personally, I think they missing out on something which is very special to both the giver and the recipient. ;)</p>
<p>I love this thread !!</p>
<p>Haven’t we all had a moment, when due to some life circumstance (not necessarily financial), a kind gesture means so much? A smile, kind word or a bit of help can yield enough fuel to encourage someone carry on. I try to be aware of others around me and what might bring a bit of “sunshine” into their day. I have complimented retail help and found the manager so I could pass along how grateful I was for the assistance I received. I have provided humor and encouragement for parents with upset children, when they feared judgement. While it means a lot to us to make charitable donations, I particularly cherish the face to face kindnesses, that are shared in spontaneous ways. I like a thread like this, as it reminds us all, that in some way, there are very few of us who couldn’t make a little difference in another’s day.</p>
<p>There was a nice young woman I knew only from CC who was getting married. She and her intended didn’t have much money (she’s a graduate student) and were paying for their own wedding, but her relatives kept complaining about every decision they made and demanding that they add this and that expensive option to the reception…without any plans to help pay for it, of course. The last straw for me was when they started insisting that she have favors, and she was trying to figure out how to make them inexpensively, which was the last thing she needed given that she was doing everything else, too. So I said forget that, I will GIVE you the favors as a wedding gift. I made 100 special chocolates for her–milk and dark pyramids filled with orange spiked ganache, packaged with ribbon in one of her wedding colors, and shipped them off. I got more gratification from that than from any other order I’ve ever filled. :)</p>
<p>TempeMom, I’m usually not much for those sentimental videos, but I do love that one. I think I’ll pop over to youtube and watch it again! :)</p>
<p>A toy drive can’t solve the problems of a poor family but surely it can give the kids a Merry Christmas.</p>
<p>^ I love that you did that Consolation…truly heartwarming!</p>
<p>I always understood the point of paying for a coffee to be that you pay for the person behind you and wherever the chain ends, that recipient gets to save his $3 and use them for something else he may need more. Problem with doing this at Starbucks is that the person who “takes” the benefit/ends the chain is likely not someone in need of $3; he came into a luxury goods shop (which is what Sbux is) ready to buy and then said – sweet, I don’t have to pay. I don’t know if you remember the 26 Acts campaign right after Newtown, but the Starbucks thing was big in NYC for a few weeks, and I always used to think – we’re at a Starbucks in a midtown Manhattan building that houses a huge law firm and hedge fund, no one needy is walking through the doors here. </p>
<p>I think the pay it forward thing works better at diners, fast food etc, where there are people who likely could use a $10-15 break on a meal and use that money for something else in their life. How about trying this out at an airport? I feel like travel is so expensive right now that it is a hardship for many to make it home for the holidays and with kids sometimes you do end up buying snacks/water at the airport that you can’t take through security – feels like that could actually help someone who is already worried about keeping costs down.</p>
<p>DH and his co-workers took a group of under-privileged kids to Target yesterday, and each kid was given a $100 Target gift card. DH was particularly touched by a boy who used his money to buy for his mom, sister, and - get this - two kids whose names he had drawn from an Angel Tree. He bought nothing for himself, even after he was offered a little extra just for that purpose.</p>
<p>We usually take our kids and have them buy presents for kids in need, usually donated through toys for tots. They get soooo much, it’s good for them to think about others a little.
We spend varying amounts, depending on how our year is going. As our kids get older, it’s fun to continue buying toys.</p>
<p>westcoastmom, your post made me cry</p>