<p>No, any mature, smart person knows it is very hard to make generalizations when it comes to how people want to live. You are not looking or listening to other people’s opinion, what you want is to justify what you want to do. I am very puzzle as to why you need that. You seem to be very sure of what you want, you don’t need people to tell you what you are doing is right. </p>
<p>In reading some of your posts, I am not certain if you truly like or love your BF. You are not supportive of what he wants to do as a career, and your time schedule seem to be off. If he is your first BF, I would shop around a bit more. You seem to have an idea what a relationship is suppose to be, what kind of job your future husband should have. As someone posted above, you need to be honest with your BF, that’s the mature thing to do. </p>
<p>A sign of maturity is also to be considerate, not always be so self centered, and able to listen to someone else opinion. Those are also some very important traits in order to grow/live with someone. My H and I have been married close to 30 years, right out of college. We are not the same people.</p>
<p>I gave the answer 25 because that is when I plan to be finish with all of my schooling, and not necessarily because the number is intriguing, but looking back on it now, it seems to be. I have since told him that marriage isn’t something I HAVE to do…kids on the other hand…yes.</p>
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<p>I think the problem with society is that people equate marriage to a committed relationship. A committment is in this unmarried relationship, but there are no legal bounds, potential ties in credit, etc, but…marriage is a big step, and I don’t think most kids my age really get that. From my personal observation, most view marriage as a “status symbol” and not a lifelong commitment. That is why divorce rates are highest in my age bracket, and I want to do everything in my power to ensure my relationship the best chances.</p>
<p>Why do you think you are so much better than your generation? It comes through your posts over and over again. Do you make your friends feel that way? I have 2 daughters about your age, and they are nothing like the way your portray your generation to be. I have also met many of their friends, and they are just like my kids. They are very serious about their school work, getting a real job, most of them have had few relationships in college, some hookups, no one is planning on getting married in the near future. I would say most of them probably wouldn’t get married until they are ready to have kids, and they probably would live together.</p>
<p>I couldn’t say that the changes between teenage and adult years are the same as the changes between 30 and 40 for a couple of reasons. 1. The changes from teenage to adult years are primarily forced by outside circumstances…ie, larger responsibilities, more competency in specialized areas, less freedom and more settling down. They are changes, to be sure, but they are basic changes in social positioning and not so much internally. 2. The changes that occur once somebody really knows who they are are much deeper and much more relational and therefore have a far greater ability to impact an intimate relationship. </p>
<p>The change at each stage is different in nature but no less impactful and no less life altering. I only say this because it would be a mistake to believe that waiting to "get married’ in any way assures you of having married some “set” person at 25. Most men and woman, at twenty-five, have a long way to go before they really have a deep understanding of who they are and what their priorities are really going to be later on in life. </p>
<p>fwiw: I’m not a baby boomer. H and I are gen-exers. I have no idea why we are called that, or why you are called gen Y…</p>
<p>The point is that people always change. Consider your husband converting to a totally different religion when he’s forty, or living his own religion if he is religious to a comparatively extreme degree. I see this happen all the time. This has a huge impact on the relationship and is unforeseeable in many cases (at least to the untrained eye, which I posit many of us have). Furthermore, people change, but that change can actually be controlled or directed. The change is organic, but not something that is totally without basis and without course. This isn’t some exploding cauldron of volatile chemicals. </p>
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<p>You’re right, that is just your opinion. Because “personal development” and “finding yourself” is IMHO a total sham and a complete waste of time. But I’m not going to tell someone who does it that they should go away or knock it off (although, as evidenced by this thread, I don’t have a problem saying I don’t think it’s a particularly productive endeavor). Furthermore, I don’t think that you are in a position to say that X is universally a beneficial product of college and that all should seek it or they are missing out.</p>