Ghosted by the AO

Not really, but kind of…DD had an interview via Zoom before an evening school function. Her portion of the interview ran way over and I had to explain to the AO I had to get her to her required school event. The AO was understanding and told me to reach out via email if I had any questions. Which I did.

I have not heard anything from the AO at all. It’s been over 2 weeks. Suggestions on how I should handle this? Do I just dismiss and worry about asking these questions should she actually be accepted? (One of the questions was regarding how they’d want us to submit her performing arts portfolio) I’m at a loss. I’m not wanting to assume this situation reflects on what they think of my DD, but that’s hard not to do.

Oh. And I’ve quadruple checked the email address.

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I understand your frustration! When we were going through the process last year, kiddo emailed a thank you with a few questions to an AO and she never heard back. I would say, if you can’t find answers elsewhere, and it’s something you need to know, I would email the AO again…either make a joke of emailing again or pretend you never emailed the first time. I highly doubt it is a reflection of your DD.

I would bet anything it’s a total oversight. (You are far too amazing to ignore on purpose.). But really – unless it has been two or three emails that were ignored, I wouldn’t think twice about it. Just email a quick follow up.

@Calliemomofgirls you are too kind. I’m at a loss how to even start with a follow up email without sounding impatient or pushy. We have decided to take advantage of an in-person visit over the break, so I may table my questions until then. I guess I’m letting my application anxiety (partially stemmed by 2 “official looking” but thin letters from colleges for DS sitting on the counter that he refuses to allow us to open) get the better of me.
It is the navigation of such social parameters that gets the better of me. I’m best in the corporate world when working outside of the networking/committees/focus groups and am relegated to the grunt work. I have yet to hone the delicate balance of assertiveness and offensive.
And to think…up until now, I was very relaxed about the entire process. ?

You need to steam those college letters open ASAP
Ok, but I am slightly serious.

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And I agree that a follow up email is totally fine. The AO might be out sick, or so many other crazy things that are happening right now.

@one1ofeach Steaming those letters is just plain silly. Obv just hold them up to a bright light. (I’m kidding.). (kind of).

And to add: really, really, really – following up is so not a big deal. People forget or overlook things all the time. I can’t even imagine for one second this is anything other than a tiny oops that your nice follow up will give complete grace for. “I know you have so many emails probably this time of year, so I’m just following up on my Q about XYZ.”

I probably had to do that several times last app cycle and I’ve already done it a couple of times this year I’ll bet. People are human. Seriously, don’t take this personally at all. (I am personally grateful when someone else gives me the grace of a gentle nudge. In fact I just got one today for a work thing next July where I was like oh gosh oops how did I miss this!?)

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Thanks guys!! ?. I am tempted to steam, although a coworker said freezing is better.
And I’ll definitely try to follow up in a very gentle, nudging way.
I appreciate you all for your input. I’ll get myself back together soon, I hope!

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Omg, you totally have to freeze or steam or rip open and apologize later. Good grief - there could be an invitation to apply for a scholarship or something in them! Some deadline he needs to know about. I couldn’t handle those sitting on my counter, not knowing!

Can you open it while facetiming, then hold the letter up to the screen without reading it first?

“The AO might be out sick…”

Given the pandemic this is exactly what I was thinking.

@CateCAParent he FaceTimes us every night…so I thought that would be exactly what we’d do. He said he wanted to wait until he got home…given that we will see him Saturday, I acquiesced. But I had to move them to his room to be out of my sight, and I’m still tempted every time I pass by his door.

@buuzn03 , you are a stronger parent than me.

Ok ok ok. Counting down the days until Saturday. You do know you have to report back here, right?

Saturday? I feel like that gives you DAYS to freeze, unseal, and reseal and thaw to normal mail temp. No?

From an experienced person with a daughter that had an art portfolio… YOU the parent should not be talking to the AO. Your child needs to talk the lead here. Your child needs to find the requirements which usually are on their website anyway.

As a hint. Make sure your daughter is follow collegiate portfolio guidelines. Have a real portfolio. The more professional (if ever doing live again) the better but don’t have to spend a lot. If not do it online.

If this school was that important then she should of missed or gone late to her school. Depending on how badly she wanted this school. If a LAC they tend to be more forgiving. If I am understanding if you ended her interview like during it… That doesn’t look good for your daughter…

So, Have your daughter reach out. Also check their website, Facebook etc for an explanation of where this person is. She can call the admissions office or whatever and see if she is around live or virtually. Someone else in the department will know again if this is a small LAC.

As far as opening letters Steam works fine but… Take a flash light… Shine it directly into the envelope… Do this in front of a bathroom mirror… Read the letter… Your Welcome… Lol ?:email:

@Knowsstuff this is the boarding school forum. My DD is 13 and she is taking the lead in most cases - she has asked every other AO this question regarding portfolios herself but instead of sending two emails (one with my questions that could not be asked during the interview due to our own time constraints and the other with this question of hers), I elected to just send one.

As far as the college letter- all of y’all are keeping well-entertained with your suggestions! I think the fear that I’d really flub it up is keeping me from acting on them!


Oh! And I must say thank you to you all! Especially with the letter scheming-my anxiety has abated and I’m back to my prior calm self. Both kiddos will end up where they’re meant to be.
(I do not guarantee that another angst moment will not ensue between now and M10, however).

LOL… My bad ?.

I didn’t see that this was a BS forum just say the question…

Carry on… BTW the flashlight trick works great…

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Omg. I can’t believe I caved. But I did- I had to put clean sheets on his bed and it was just too much for this poor mom to handle.

Flashlight trick was the key.

The sad news was it was just a ‘congratulations, your application is complete’ letter. Sigh. Sorry to disappoint.


I was so excited for you. ??

But now your mom brain can be at peace.

It would be far worse to have caved and it turned out to be important. Then you would have to cop to it.