<p>During the Thanksgiving/Christmas holiday season, do people buy gifts for a girlfriend?</p>
<p>We suggested DS to buy either some fancy chocolate or flowers for his girfriend. But we think this gift idea is kind of lame.</p>
<p>Both of them are still (grad school) students with no income. They have seen each other only for about one month only.</p>
<p>If she is going to be in your home during the holidays, it would be very kind to get her something. Nice lotion or soaps, a scarf, something simple and non personal. It shouldn’t be expensive but just a little something to show that you acknowledge her. You never know, she may join your family some day!</p>
<p>I took my son last year (he was a freshman) to Kohl’s where we found some nice silver earrings on sale, plus we used a coupon. I think jewelry is always nice and silver earrings are affordable, as are bracelets and chains. If that’s too “intimate” or he’s not confortable with that, another good option are something she needs, like a nice warm scarf or a lotion giftset from Bath and Body. I think those are all nice “girlfriendy” gifts that say you’re special to me and I thought of you, but let’s face it, I’m a starving student :D</p>
<p>My sister used to buy GF presents for my nephew.</p>
<p>I think my daughters would have been very disappointed if their 1 month old BF didn’t get them a small, thoughtful gift for the holidays. I think a bouquet of flowers sent to her home (or where ever she is going to be) would be very romantic. Because I have daughters, I would stay away from jewelry, clothes, even lotion until he knows her better.</p>
<p>If they have been seeing each other for only a month, I personally think jewelry is not the right choice…seems too serious. I agree that something nice she can use would be good…maybe a scarf, lotions, nice candies, flowers. The OP seemed like she was looking for a suggestion for her son to buy his girlfriend. </p>
<p>Agreed, if she will be in your home on the holiday, it would be nice to have a little something for her.</p>
<p>We have the same issue here…but for a BF. I think we will get him ITunes gift cards, and make some homemade cookies.</p>
<p>X posted with Oldfort…and I agree!</p>
<p>I think an inexpensive gift that shows he’s been listening to her is good. </p>
<p>What is she interested in? Does she like a certain kind of music or have a favorite band? Buy a CD. Is she a tea or hot chocolate drinker? Buy her a mug and/or some good tea or hot chocolate.Is there a certain syrup she always orders for her Starbucks coffee? Buy that. Is celebrity gossip her secret guilty pleasure? Buy her a subscription to People or Entertainment Weekly. On the other end of the spectrum does she love poetry? A gift subscription to a poetry magazine might be a good gift.</p>
<p>Is there a hometown food she misses? Can he order it on line? Since they are grad students, and thus presumably over 21, does she have a beer or wine that she especially likes?</p>
<p>While jewelry or a nice scarf is a fine gift, it’s something you could give to anyone. I personally think the best gifts are gifts that couldn’t be given to any young woman. They are gifts that show he has been listening to her and remembers.</p>
<p>Tickets to movie/concert/event they can attend together?</p>
<p>Thanks for all the good suggestions.</p>
<p>We live thousands of miles away from their campus, which is on the NE coast. Still too early for us to meet her yet.</p>
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I wish it is already a good time for DS to do this. But I heard she does not want her parents to know about their relationship yet, likely because of the length of the time they have been together.</p>
<p>It is somewhat strange to me is that, her parents will drive her to campus after Thanksgiving but DS is not arranged to meet her parents while they are on campus. I would think the parents would love to know who their D is dating with. Maybe the girl does not want her parents to worry that they live too close? (Not that they live together; it is just their dorm rooms happen to be on the same floor.) Both of them are not UG students anymore (26 and likely 23 yo.)</p>
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<p>Is the young lady from a traditional ethnic family of some kind? For some, introducing a steadily dating boyfriend is considered very seriously by the parents, a prelude to discussing an engagement. </p>
<p>If it’s that kind of family, one month of dating is not long enough to introduce to parents. She might want to get to know him better before riling her parents up.</p>
<p>Heard that her parents are indeed more “traditional.”</p>
<p>Both parents were college graduates from college in US and working in the Maryland/Washington DC area. They go to a Christian church attended by mostly their ethnic group. The parents would closely monitor who their D was dating with when she was in HS or UG. (But it was when she was in high school or in college.) It is not like they will not allow her D to date.</p>
<p>They also let their D live in the college dorm when she was an UG student even though the campus is within 20 to 30 minutes drive from their home. So they are likely not super conservative.</p>
<p>I think it is mainly the length of time they have been together. DS said they had been out for “date” dinner only two times. DS paid for the dinner.</p>
<p>A funny question DS asked us was that how many times he should pay for her. Would it be the case that he will pay for her forever? We told him not to worry about this at least for now. We are more concerned that he may not be romantic enough (he does not have much dating experience.)</p>
<p>They’ve only been a couple for one month. Let them decide if they feel like giving each other anything another month from now- the relationship will be twice as old or they might not be seeing each other anymore.</p>
<p>I can easily see any twenty something child not wanting parents to meet their current boy/girlfriend. They won’t know if it is a lasting relationship until more time passes. Who would want nosy parents second guessing, presuming too much or finding fault?</p>
<p>They are adults. No interference from parents on this. I remember chocolates and flowers from my boyfriend back in the day- he became my H, we were in our thirties and working. I certainly would be embarrassed by anything too personal until I was sure the relationship was becoming permanent.</p>
<p>Is their new relationship going along well enough, according to your son? If it is, why do you care whether or not her parents meet him? </p>
<p>If I were to bring up something like that with my son, it’d only make him anxious and he’d start asking the girl… Leave it alone! If it’s going to become a real longterm relationship, they will meet when the D considers the time is right.</p>
<p>Can we just go back to helping find a nice gift for this girl?</p>
<p>No- not our job. Consider- will any gift imply a more serious relationship than he may be ready for?</p>
<p>With the new year coming, how about a 2014 calendar with pretty photographs of something he knows she likes (dogs, cats, horses, natural landscapes…), to “show he’s listening”? Bookstores have many choices.</p>
<p>If they continue to date, she’l have some artwork on her wall that reminds her of him. If they break up, it’s easy to toss away.</p>
<p>Hey- that’s also a typical request from me to my H when asked about gifts this time of year. Good idea.</p>
<p>PS- in my case it is because I already have so many things, not because we’ll break up (although some days…).</p>
<p>It seems their relationship is going well so far. No arguments of any sort yet. The only “complaint” DS heard from her at one time is that she feels DS is not initiative enough. DS tends to be very cautious (i.e., he tends to think too much.) This is likely because he has seen too many failed relationships in his circle of friends.</p>
<p>I agree that I should leave him alone. It is already very nice that he will tell us this. We should be all ears but not give him unsolicited advices.</p>
<p>One month is a very short amount of time to be considering family provided holiday gifts. </p>
<p>As for gifts between the couple, something personally meaningful and yet, not necessarily expensive. Some examples I’ve given/received and seen from others include burning a mix CD of favorite artists/songs, creative artwork/written songs*, tickets to a favorite musical/theatrical venue, a booklet of aesthetically pleasing/relationship related photos, couple cooking classes, etc.</p>
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<li>Unless SO is exceedingly open-minded, only recommended if it’s to her taste and it’s not too horrid/avant garde.</li>
</ul>
<p>mcat2 - congrats on son starting a relationship. My girls will tend to let a guy pay for few dates in the beginning. Once they become an item, they’ll offer to take turns paying (they hate splitting the bill). Since your son is new at dating, one thing do watch out for if the girl should expect him to pay every time, especially if he doesn’t have a lot of money now. I think it is understandable that she doesn’t want to tell her parents at this stage, especially over the holiday time. </p>
<p>My younger one used to tell me every new boy interest, now she is a lot more cautious because of few failed attempt. D2’s best friend just told her father about her 4 months old relationship (the mother knew), and the father went off about no exclusivity, but he got over it.</p>
<p>Most kids don’t do the “meet the parents” thing with every person they date…even ones who last for a month. Meeting the parents signifies a more serious relationship in some young people’s and parents’ minds.</p>
<p>This couple has been going out for a month, not a year. Not surprising to me at all that the GF did not schedule a meet the parents time when they return to college.</p>
<p>One month is way too soon to meet the boyfriend or girlfriend unless it happens by accident (in which case it doesn’t have the same significance).</p>
<p>If the relationship has progressed to the point where they visit each other’s apartments, how about a board game? Lots of young people play board games, and some games are adaptable enough that they work for two players as well as a larger group.</p>