Gift ideas for a new girlfriend

[jonri]

<p>Seriously, mcat, you need to stop posting in this thread. </p>

<p>You’ve posted enough information that anyone who knows your S in real life would recognize him from this thread. I doubt your S would appreciate it if any of his classmates or other people in his dorm read this thread.</p>

[mcat2]

<p>Thanks for the advice.</p>

<p>I really should have stopped.
I personally did not ask him any question about this when he’s home in order to be not too nosy What we have learned is all what he is willing to share. But still it is not proper for me to reveal too much as you suggested. As someone posted, maybe it is me who is more “disappointed” about the development than him (even though he seems to have been unhappy about the development as well) so I may have over-reacted. Thanks again.</p>

[cobrat]

<p>

DS believes (although not 100% sure as she could be evasive) that the third person X in her hometown exists. She admitted to him that she did not tell X that the relationship between X and her has been over and she thinks X believes they are still together. Also, she is not willing to tell X that their relationship has been ended because she might lose X as a friend should she tell X this so she is not willing to do so. So it is still ambiguous (at least DS thinks so) whether X is still her current BF besides DS, or she really only does not want to lose his “friendship”. She also said all of their mutual friends think X is still her current BF and she did not clarify this during this Thanksgiving holiday.

</p>

<p>Sounds like she’s still acting like an immature middle schooler. If you’re going to have a serious dating relationship with someone, put 100% into it, clearly communicate at the beginning you’re parallel dating, or let the other person know you’re not interested so both parties could move on.</p>

<p>Moreover, she’s not considering most people, especially males do not like being relegated to “just friends” after a dating relationship or strung along. Especially if the person doing it spends a sizable chunk of the date/relationship talking about ex-es. Most people who experienced what you son did would feel hurt at being used….and be highly justified in having such feelings. </p>

<p>As with genuine friendships….if the “friend”/“SO” only/mostly calls you to help with problems or fix something….said person isn’t a real friend. Rather they’re using you and not being very nice or genuine about it. Folks like that don’t get beyond the casual acquaintance stage and if a friend starts acting like that with me or other friends in our social circle, they won’t remain friends with us for long. </p>

<p>

My ex would go shopping for me, bring it home and immediately give it to me in the plastic store bag he brought it home in. Not the least bit romantic, and when Christmas came around, I didn’t have a gift to open because he had given it to me so early. It’s all in the presentation!

</p>

<p>Depends on whether the gift recipient is romantic or not. I’ve known women who’d find such presentations a bit “trite” and prefer the simple unromantic approach.</p>

<p>More importantly, I think the issues with the OP’s S relationship goes much deeper than mere gift giving techniques….and has more to do with someone giving mixed signals and being a bit self-absorbed in giving such signals because she’s “afraid of losing the friendship”. Especially when it seems the relationship/friendship is very one-sided and thus, not a genuine friendship in my book.</p>