This topic came up in conversation the other day and I was curious what you guys thought. It’s definitely non-traditional. How does one even do that? With a ring pop?
My mother proposed to my father on their second date. They’re still together. 
Not every proposal has to be a filmed event posted on social media. Nor does it have to include a ring.
Btw, The ring pop comment was obviously a joke. That’s awesome about your mother! @Groundwork2022
I find it weird and a desperate move. If a man really loves a woman then he should be the one to bend on his knees and ask the question. But then again it’s the 21st century so maybe it is normal.
People propose to people they love and who love them back. He > She, She> He,
He > He, She > She. I don’t even know why we questions She > He if we support all the other ways.
I don’t know one person where the woman asked the man. I don’t think it’s the norm, but if it works for the couple then that’s great.
@BellaMorgan The problem with that attitude is that it is deeply embedded in the concept that women should be passive and should wait and that men should be aggressive and keep on trying.
When I see videos (or TV commercials) of those traditional proposals, guy on knee popping box with ring, girl getting all excited, tears, suspense (!!!), and girl says… “YES, I will marry you!” I always think, how nice, but how does that actually happen? Don’t they already know? My wife and I were very much in love when we decided to get married and I honestly don’t even remember who brought it up, but there was no “proposal” on either side. We both just knew we wanted to be together. Maybe I should ask her who asked whom! 
I dated H for 3 years. When I was graduating from dental school, he had 2 years left in a PhD program. I told him I would move to his area and after a year we would either get married or I was moving on. He thought about that and said how long does it take to plan a wedding? I replied 5 months (37 years ago). He said he was ready to leave his program (didn’t want to do the thesis). I said okay, 5 months from today is xxxx, is that what we are doing? And it was, but we added a week because my sister was taking the bar exam then. No ring.
So I guess I asked him. Nothing fancy and no engagement ring.
TBH, I don’t remember who asked who. Definitely no ring. Also no big emotional scene with tears. Still together after 31 years, so clearly something worked.
I asked my H. 35 years later, here we still are.
He was being transferred to the West Coast and it was either date long distance, break up or get married. Marriage won the coin toss…
I asked my H. We had been living together four years by that time, and it was a foregone conclusion we eventually would get married. It was just a matter of when. I hatched a plan - no ring, an “engagement guitar” instead. It was fun and personal and memorable. I highly recommend doing something traditional your own way.
24 years later, and he still loves that guitar. And me!
No bended knee proposal, no engagement ring, no filming, no asking my dad’s “permission”, no hoopla. 33 years married to my best friend and going strong.
I don’t see anything “weird” or different about anyone asking the person they love to marry. I’m glad more people have that option now.
FWIW-40 years ago my husband asked me, but didn’t ask my dad for “permission”, IMO asking the father is weird.
I thought I was the only one with no formal proposal. We had dated more than 5 years and had talked “when we get married” sort of discussions from time to time. We were out eating at Chi Chi’s one evening and were talking if we got married where would we go on a honeymoon. I know he had no idea the evening was going to end up with us engaged. All he said was, let’s do it then. I said “what” get married?. I think he turned green and said “yes”. Probably thinking what the heck just came out of my mouth. I said ok.
Then I got cold feet and called him the next day and said I think I changed my mind but I wasn’t sure. He said whatever I want to do. I was so confused. (He was probably relievedI had been dreaming of getting married.
I called my mom crying the next day at work and she talked me down. I decided that I did want to get married. I called him again to tell him I changed my mind again. LOL.
No diamond until our 5th anniversary and he let me pick out what I wanted, which was more than we could afford at the time, but I figured I had waited so long so what the heck. We’ve been married 35 years, together 41.
I still think it’s so romantic when I see proposals, but not the getting on the knees ones.
Another in the no formal proposal group - no asking permission, no ring, no bended knee. We just decided it was the right time (had dated for many years - married now for almost 35). I did speak with a young person (early 30s) who recently got engaged, and he mentioned how it was a proposal by discussion (no big scene with a camera filming to get the right social media picture). They too just agreed it was time (have been together for a long time.)
This video about proposals today makes me laugh - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTIpt65Ns24
Same with the rest of the crowd–no asking permission (my father was long dead, in any case), no ring, no bended knee. We just knew pretty early on that we were going to get married eventually. As it happened, “eventually” came sooner than expected because so did first child, lol. Thirty-seven happy years later, it still looks like a pretty good idea.
I’m surprised at this time that this is even a question, to be honest.
@kiddie, that’s hysterical!!!
Mutual thing for us too. When I was a senior and applying to grad schools I told now H that I wouldn’t build my list around his job without a commitment. We went ring shopping together and he officially proposed a month later.