<p>I think 1tcm is very perceptive and with good wisdom.</p>
<p>Marite,</p>
<p>I will miss you greatly. Hopefully you will stick around long enough for all those who want to to send their PMs to you.</p>
<p>Oh, Iderochi I get it now too!</p>
<p>On this forum you cannot be full of things like “wist” or “boast” or … heaven forbid, lust… or you will be censored!!! I especially enjoyed the juxtaposition of the forum censor mistakenly editing out 4 letters because it is an acronym for “shut the freak up” and this was immediately followed by the statement:</p>
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</p>
<p>How ironic is that?? :)</p>
<p>Why are people leaving?</p>
<p>I don’t post often, actually not at all since my school instituted a no-post-on-any-forum rule from school computers, but I do read this board quite often during breaks. I heard once that for every mouse (or roach, I can’t remember which) you see, there are dozens more hanging around. This is probably just as true for posters and lurkers here. You have shared a great deal of your time and wisdom with more people than you probably realize. Here’s a big “thank you” from one of those lurkers, and I do hope you will change your mind and stick around.</p>
<p>(Pulling over to the rest stop…)</p>
<p>Alright, now what’s wrong?! If you kids don’t settle down, I’m gonna turn this car around, drive straight home, and none of you will get to go to Disneyland!! I’m not KIDDING! I MEAN IT!!! </p>
<p>Sorry, Marite…you can’t go. You have to stay and drive the kids around. C’monnnn, pleeeeeeze, staaaaaaay! Really, you’re an asset to CC. Hey, you should see my “Ignore” list, and I’m still hanging around! ::::slugghuggs 4U:::: 
;)</p>
<p>Putting on my asbestos bugg suit… :)</p>
<p>Wow, I didn’t realize so many were so upset with CC and the posters. I hadn’t really noticed the hostility…I must be numbed by my big city life.</p>
<p>That said, I sure hope it wasn’t me. I’m not a coddler…so I don’t do that well. I do speak my peace. But, I try not to be overtly offensive (unless someone pokes me too hard). Even then, grudges aren’t held and life moves on. Some of the posters for whom I have the most love and friendliest rapport today are the same posters with whom I’ve shared a “spat” in the past. </p>
<p>I do hope Marite will return when she feels up to it. And, I hope everyone else will stay. Everyone won’t always agree. And, some will manage their opinions differently. But, balance is needed. The more mild-mannered posters will balance out the abrasive ones. And, the abrasive posters will learn the “tone” of this forum from the others. </p>
<p>While I don’t support abrasive conflict, I appreciate the diversity of the posters who move us a little farther from “Stepford CC”. </p>
<p>Now, if only the diverse posters tone it down slightly…and the more traditional posters could embrace new ideas a little more. </p>
<p>If I’ve offended anyone, I’m sorry. </p>
<p>I do wish we all knew why Marite was leaving so we could all stop asking “was it me”? </p>
<p>Maybe we all need a break.</p>
<p>Good grief, is it really that hard to understand Marite’s message? Have we not learned from Marite that she always finds the … right words! </p>
<p>“It’s been mostly fun and educational. I hope I’ve helped others. But the last couple of days have shown me that it’s time to move on.”</p>
<p>Looking for reasons? It HAS BEEN mostly fun and educational. This means that the CC parents forum has lost what made it fun and educational. Do you need more clues? Read the archive board and compare the December-April period of prior years with 2004-2005. </p>
<p>If you really want me to spell it out for you … this year has been the year of pompoms, levity, and ungraceful posters. Last year, we had a few of our most respected posters receiving the bad news of EA rejections. The following months witnessed those posters redoubling their efforts and continuing to support EVERYBODY without hesitation. One thing they never did is post one of those “How could this happen to my poor genius child? What an injustice! What went wrong?”</p>
<p>So, here you have it, folks! It is not hard to see that, in the last months, we have been inundated by posts that were neither fun nor educational. The posts were simply laden with raw emotions and frustrations. Take it as you wish, but that is NOT what this community was all about. We love to lend an ear, or even an occasional shoulder, but we expected people to get the message … and move on without arguing about the same issue for 4 months. This community believe(d) in helping others by sharing experiences and wisdom. Lately, all too often, any that was offered was rejected because posters just expected more sympathy, but found it much harder to give. </p>
<p>This board has NOT lost its underlying goodness and value. What made it fun and educational has simply been drowning in a sea of nothingness embellished by rah-rah, exclamations points, wet handkerchiefs, or other silly displays of immature and unwarranted rage. </p>
<p>I understand that the newcomers cannot appreciate the difference, and actually cannot be blamed. The silent majority of oldtimers should have been more vocal and be more forceful in its dismay.</p>
<p>Marite,
Thank-you so much for your wise suggestions regarding my son’s college application, and for encouraging me during a stressful time. I have also been dug at recently - but I will be staying at least a little longer. Best wishes to your wonderful sons for great success and much happiness!</p>
<p>Great post, Momsdream.
It really is beginning to sound like The Last Supper…(“Is it I?”) </p>
<p>The self-examination was good for the apostles, and it’s good for everyone from time to time. Any time I’ve mixed it up with Marite, she’s given as good as she got, so whatever has upset her so (the vanished threads?) must have been pretty egregious. [Xiggi has just posted #70–perhaps it’s just as plain and simple as he suggests.] </p>
<p>Like Momsdream, I have no illusions of winning Mrs. Congeniality any time soon, and I think there are many of us here whose temperaments and facility with the keyboard not only scare others out of the loop, but cause us to unintentionally hurt feelings. When we get into the political/socio-economic realm, where we all feel very strongly–and the discussion quickly overheats–I generally think my ripostes are fair and true; however, I have in the past re-read some of my own remarks, and thought: "I could have said the same thing without twisting the knife AND shooting him in the head with a .45. In my own defense, I will say that most of the folks I mix it up with are firing live ammo too. Anyway, I’m still on “speaking” terms with most all of my opponents in the caged death-matches, and I hope that continues to be the case. And I hope Marite will continue to share her substantial knowledge, which will only broaden and deepen as her son embarks on his Harvard experience.</p>
<p>" Good grief, is it really that hard to understand Marite’s message?"</p>
<p>It was for me. I guess I’m just an idiot. Gheez Xiggi…seems you need a dose of your own medicine, Son. </p>
<p>I don’t understand this place. Seems that it’s ok to abusive, as long as you don’t abuse the clique. Is that the message?</p>
<p>I’m off to practice my deep breathing. This is too much.</p>
<p>It might be helpful for those of us who might not have the talent for reading the terrain, to provide a bit of a guidebook as a “sticky” for newbies.</p>
<p>I, for one, could benefit from a better understanding of what is considered a “worthy” CC poster. If you aren’t yourself a product of one of the top tier schools largely discussed here or actively engaged in the machinations by which students are moved from hs into one of these schools; if you aren’t adopted into the parent clique or you march to a different drummer and lean right when others lean left, or vice versa, CC can seem a rather unwelcoming place. </p>
<p>I actually had a better time over on the Princeton board, until some young fellow observed (none too kindly, either!) that as a parent, I was unwelcome there. The other young people defended my presence, but I had received my come-uppance.</p>
<p>Maybe someone could suggest another forum for those of us who, as someone said, are “addicted” to CC, but find that it is not addicted to us?</p>
<p>(The lights are low, everyone has a candle and we’re all gently swaying back and forth … heck, we might even have our arms draped across the shoulder of the person next to us!)</p>
<p>Now, together on my count and in the key of … well, in whatever key you’re most comfortable singing - </p>
<p>All we are saying is give peace a chance</p>
<p>I am sure I ruffled feathers. I speak my mind. I try not to attack. I am not a coodler. I don’t necessarily say what everyone here seems to want to hear. I speak from a different persepective. I will contiinue to say my piece. I often disagree with the majority of posters here. Oh well. I can take the flack. Sorry someone feels the need to go. In my opinion, it is kind of unfair to be so criptic. We posters are blamed, but in such a generic way, we are scrambling around. If I said something, please PM me. I am more then willing to defend myself or apologize.</p>
<p>Dizzymom- a “worthy” poster is the poster who is able to impart some needed information or support to someone else! YOU have been that for me, especially with respect to athletic recruiting. We never know who needs us or who we need until the moment arrives. Anyone has the potential to be WORTHY. I was able to recently supply some knowledge which helped another member’s neighbor who has a struggling teen. That is why we are all here. If bonds have formed which allow us to brag a little, moan and groan and even argue, then that is the mark of a community. However, it IS the internet, and the subtleties of expression are often missing. It can be easy to offend and easy to hide behind our screens and say things that we might not say face to face. To me, the good outweighs the bad. If a thread or a poster bothers me, I ignore or avoid. The rudeness you referred to on the Princeton board was a minority opinion, but it was definitely a slap in the face when you only offered support and encouragement.<br>
I hope instead of leaving, members will take a break, visit more benign threads and stay the course.</p>
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I think that this quote can answer some of the questions about which you may be wondering. I also recently received a pm (not from xiggi) asking me to “deep six” the font sizes and colors in congrats threads. There ya go! ~berurah
p.s. I never knew exclamation points could ruffle so many feathers!!!</p>
<p>berurah:
seriously, if the biggest problem someone has is that he/she has to look at exclamation points…</p>
<p>that person must have very few problems in life indeed ;)</p>
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<p>oh, don’t deep six the colors and font sizes!!! I’m very envious that you’ve figured out how to do that!!! It took me two years to figure out how to do quotes!!!</p>