The NPC is more accurate than anecdotes from the internet. In fact, unless your parents are divorced or own a business or farm, most NPCs will probably be pretty accurate. @thumper1 can tell you what other situations might throw off a Net Price Calculator, but I think they’re usually very good.
If you need to get costs down to $20k when you have a $45k EFC, you’d have better luck creating a thread asking where you can get a $20k net cost with a 3.2UW GPA, 1450 SAT, and $45k EFC. Does your school rank? That might matter too. Posters could then suggest schools to you. I wouldn’t expect many universities to give a lot of grants to OOS students. Their mission is to help students whose parents pay taxes there. Would you consider an LAC? Does the area of the country matter?