<p>I have no problem whatsoever with googling. Most of what you’ll find is 99% positive or innocuous. I’d have absolutely no qualm with a likely roommate (or her parents) googling me, my husband, or either of my daughters, if that’s what it would take to set their minds at ease. Were I an axe murderer or a convicted pedophile, I’m sure I’d feel differently. … I’m not certain what all the hoo-hah is as to whether googling is “creepy,” an invasion of privacy, etc., etc. What’s google-able is out there for public consumption.</p>
<p>If you are simply curious you can grill the roommate in person–or would that be embarrassing and you’d rather skulk around the internet??</p>
<p>“If you are simply curious you can grill the roommate in person–or would that be embarrassing and you’d rather skulk around the internet??”</p>
<p>Why the two question marks, barrons? My answer is simple and I’m not at all embarrassed or guilt-ridden about it. Indeed, I’ll talk to my daughter’s roommate in person when I have the opportunity to meet her this fall; in the meantime, I’m 100% guilty of having “skulked” around the internet for a full five minutes or so–certainly, more out of curiosity than looking to discover if she’s Lizzie Borden reborn, or that her parents were Charles Manson and Squeaky Fromme. As I said, I’d have no problem whatsoever if she or her parents wanted to “skulk” around googling my family. The information’s out there. Why do you think it’s somehow nasty to do this?</p>
<p>Yeah, it was 5 minutes for me too. It is idle curiousity at this point. Maybe that’s not the highest ideal, but I don’t think it’s sick either.</p>
<p>Agreed. One who googles roommates is neither good citizen of the year nor scuzzy criminal. The “dirt” I’ve come up with has been more along the lines of awards won, athletic achievements, etc., rather than some crude invasion of privacy.</p>
<p>So when you meet them do you say–nice job on the football team–All County, cool. And National Merit Commendation, very good. Do think you should have prepped a little harder for the PSAT and made Semi-Finalist?? That would start a conversation, I bet.</p>
<p>As I’ve said earlier in the thread, the problem I have is not that using Google is bad, but that so few people seek the information just for its own sake. I mean, several posters have said that they contacted the college or university based on information they found on Google. If you’re going to make judgements about someone or make demands of a school based on your information-seeking, I find that problematic. </p>
<p>So, I wonder something. Those of you who are arguing that there’s nothing wrong with it – do you also look in the medicine cabinets in other people’s bathrooms? When a host isn’t looking, do you peek in her kitchen drawers? Do you look at your neighbor’s mailbox to see what they’re getting? Do you look at the things on your coworker’s desks “out of curiousity”? I guess I’m asking are you just <em>generally</em> nosy and seek out this kind of information, or are you only nosy about your child’s college stuff? I mean, the latter sounds like the punchline to a “You might be a helicopter parent if…” joke. If it’s the former, well, okay, just <em>say</em> that – “I’m just a nosy person, and this Googling is an extension of that.” I mean, g’wan and cop to it. No one’s perfect, and it’s okay for you to be a little freaky about this, but at least admit it.</p>
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<p>No, I don’t do any of those things. There is a huge difference between something put away in drawers or cabinets inside your house or office and something publicly posted in the plain sight of a billion computer users. Griping about your privacy being compromised by people reading stuff on Facebook, MySpace, blogs or other info you post yourself (including on CC) is like the Playmate of the Month complaining about her loss of modesty due to all the men looking at the pictures.</p>
<p>wow i didnt know parents were that into kids business, i never had parents so…</p>
<p>Hi parents,
When I got my Housing Assignments, I Googled my roommate and searched for her in MySpace. It seemed like a natural thing to do. Turned out, my roommate and I started emailing each other, and we found out that we have so much in common like interests and favorite things. During her Orientation, we actually met up and ate together. Her father was with her as well, so we all talked and it turned out to be great. If I never searched for her online, we probably would’ve never talked to each other until we move into the dorm. Bottom line, I think it’s okay to Google roommates. 
If my parents Googled my roommate, I wouldn’t have felt awkward about it. I don’t think they would be overstepping boundaries at all.</p>
<p>thank you college18–my daughter’s experience was the same as yours.</p>
<p>“So when you meet them do you say–nice job on the football team–All County, cool. And National Merit Commendation, very good. Do think you should have prepped a little harder for the PSAT and made Semi-Finalist?? That would start a conversation, I bet.”</p>
<p>Very funny, barrons. As a matter of fact, when I met my daughter’s roommate, one of the first things I said to her was: “I understand you’re an amazing writer.” (My internet “skulking” had informed me that she’d won awards for her journalism in high school–a very dangerous bit of dirt for me to have in my untrustworthy hands, I know.) Far from seeming appalled, she happily engaged me in a conversation about writing and her hopes for a newspaper career.
As for such extremely personal, specific, potentially scandalous info as National Merit commended status, no, I probably wouldn’t bring that up. (Though I’m still not sure why knowing this about someone is creepy and stalkish.) … Perhaps Congress should pass legislation to make it illegal to post such highly sensitive info on the internet, so that the youth of America can be safe from cyber-stalking potential roomies and/or their evil-doer middle-aged moms.</p>
<p>I am not going to apologize for googling my daughter’s future roommate. Like some others, I spent five minutes on it and if I had seen something of concern online it would have caused me to have another version of the “sex, drugs, rock & roll - don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you are not comfortable with” conversation with my D. She would have rolled her eyes but my concerns would be on the table at least. Quite honestly, you hope when they head off that you have helped them develop the ability to take responsibility and make reasonable decisions that work for them. </p>
<p>Slightly off topic - My daughter’s actual roommate was a delight but as we unpacked her gear one of the suitemates arrived who will forever more be known as ganja-girl. She was classic - an upper middle class girl trying to be very Grateful Dead with dreads and smelling of reefer. I had to fight incredibly hard to keep from dragging my D into the hallway and going into MOM action. I kept telling myself that my daughter would figure it out - and she did. My daughter and her roommate were not pot smokers and did not want their room reeking of it so ultimately, after some discussion, the wet-towel-under-the-doorway with the window of ganja-girl’s room open rule went into effect. It was not a perfect solution in my mind but my daughter could live with it. Most of the time roommates seem to work it out.</p>
<p>">>…do you also look in the medicine cabinets in other people’s bathrooms? When a host isn’t looking, do you peek in her kitchen drawers? Do you look at your neighbor’s mailbox to see what they’re getting? Do you look at the things on your coworker’s desks “out of curiousity”?<<</p>
<p>Of course not, though I recently heard that the Dalai Lama in a speech laughed about getting caught looking into someone’s bathroom cabinets. </p>
<p>Frankly, I have been surprised that so many people apparently do think it’s their business to look into people’s cabinets, drawers, etc. – things that clearly are private. There really are a lot of people who snoop while they are visiting people’s homes, and as a result, I don’t put anything really private into bathroom cabinets or dresser draws of rooms that guests may use. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, Googling someone reveals public information – the same things that one could learn by reading the newspaper or looking at a high school’s web site. As said before, one isn’t prying into someone’s bank account info – just getting the same information that one probably would get if one went to their school or lived in their hometown. </p>
<p>"“So when you meet them do you say–nice job on the football team–All County, cool. And National Merit Commendation, very good. Do think you should have prepped a little harder for the PSAT and made Semi-Finalist?? That would start a conversation, I bet.”</p>
<p>One wouldn’t do this any more than one would do that if one happened to have met someone who went to their high school and passed on info about the person. If you read in the paper or a school bulletin or hear from a friend that an acquaintance was “National Merit Commended,” last year, when you encounter them, do you say, “You should have prepped harder?” People bring up Google information in conversations the same way that they would bring up info obtained other ways. </p>
<p>Probably most people here have encountered people who have Googled them. The people don’t announce that in a conversation, but may use the information to steer the conversation to subjects of mutual interest. For instance, if Googling revealed that one’s kid’s roommate is a marathoner, and you happen to be a marathoner, in the brief unpacking time, you might mention something like, “I’m going to be back in this area soon to participate in the XXXX marathon.” That would probably lead to a brief conversation about your mutual interests.</p>
<p>Some people here seem to think that the point of Googling is to try to find out people’s secrets. I have a question for the people who have expressed negative reactions to people Googling others. Just what information would Google reveal about you and your family, and what is it about others’ knowing that information that concerns you? Is there anything that others’ could find on Google about you and your family that they wouldn’t find out if, for instance, they happened to have a friend who is one of your coworkers or whose kid was in your kid’s class at school?</p>
<p>I think it’s important to realize that no matter who you are, there are people in your life who know more about you than you’ve ever told them. This may be because they Googled you or because they know people who know you – people whom you have no idea they know. The world has always been a small place.</p>
<p>This reminds me of how when I was in grad school, one of my friends told me about a dean’s wife who had grilled my friend about his family background (He was first generation college at a school in which many came from highly educated families) and then had condescendingly said, “So, your dad was a cab driver!” I had never met that dean’s wife, but she actually was my cousin’s cousin, and my mom had known her years ago. I was able to tell my friend that that the father of that condescending woman had gone to prison for being a con man.</p>
<p>I doubt that information would turn up on Google. In fact, unless one has committed a crime that ended up in the newspaper, the info that people will find in a Google search about you is likely to be either positive or neutral.</p>
<p>I am puzzled by your references to many people who object to googling other people in general. I haven’t seen much, if any, posts saying that.</p>
<p>I’ve looked back over the last few pages of this thread and found a fair number of posts by those who think googling is tantamount to creepy spying.</p>
<p>I know the information is out there, I know it’s generally benign. I just don’t understand your need to do it.
As far as my immediate family is concerned, we all have rather common names so nothing meaningful would be revealed in such a search. The info that is actually ours would be quite benign I imagine, sports stuff, papers, conferences, etc. But I don’t know; I haven’t done the search.<br>
If your child wishes to google his/her roommate, fine! I just don’t get why a parent would do it.</p>
<p>I can tell you why this parent might do it. Mathson is one of those kids who will respond to questions, but rarely goes out of his way to ask them. Making new friends doesn’t come naturally to him. When he got his roommate assignment he sat on it. A couple of days later he got an e-mail which said. “I guess I am your roommate.” No further information! (Obviously he and his roommate are birds of a feather." Mathson sent back an e-mail saying “Hi. I’m a compsci major.” (Notice the question is only implied here.) No response back. I’m curious, roommate is googled. Nothing comes up. End of story. I certainly wasn’t expecting to find out he was an axe murderer! I don’t care about his religion. I suppose if I had found something interesting, I would have passed the info on - “Hey, your new roommate won ___ medal too.” or “Your new roommate plays _____.” I haven’t got any sinister motives except possibly to jumpstart friendmaking process. Since most freshmen roommates are from the same school at CMU, I expect new roommate is also a taciturn comp sci major. </p>
<p>Neither of my kids seemed at all weirded out by us being curious about the prospective roommate. Younger one in particular said he would have googled the roommate himself.</p>
<p>Hindoo–all the posts I read–including mine–called googling the roommate by the parent creepy, not googling in general.</p>
<p>“If your child wishes to google his/her roommate, fine! I just don’t get why a parent would do it.”</p>
<p>Curiosity. Simply curiosity. I don’t see what’s creepy about this.</p>
<p>In my case, the curiosity also was fueled by the fact that older S didn’t see any reason to call or e-mail his roommate before meeting him. His roommate also didn’t contact him. Perhaps this is the way many guys are as my H seemed to think this behavior was normal and said, “Guys aren’t like girls.” S and his roommate got along fine, incidentally: Both were slobs and loved video gaming. I hadn’t Googled his roommate out of any fears, just out of curiosity particularly since S saw no reason to contact his roommate in advance.</p>
<p>I expect that younger S will contact his roommates when he gets their info. However, younger S has never been able to describe any of his friends and acquaintances in any way that I find meaningful. As he puts it, “You know I can’t describe people.” He can’t even physically describe people. </p>
<p>I suspect that S can’t describe them to me because his conversation with them consists of things like video games, music and movies that I know nothing about. S describes friends like, “She is a nice person.” “He is a cool person.” He forgets to mention things like she has long strawberry blond hair and wears Army fatigues (She somehow got them for free) and has peace symbol necklaces around her neck, has a summer job in which she works with ex cons, and she plans to be in the Peace Corps after college. The “cool guy” is a shy, strikingly handsome 6’1 Asian American, who wants to participate in triathalons and be a politician. </p>
<p>How do I know these things about S’s friends? Out of being able to meet them and spend lots of time with them, not through Google.</p>