<p>LasMa- "“Gradzilla” is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh.<br>
That said, I feel for you. I know how hard it can be when their views of an event or milestone differ from yours. Sometimes I think it is their way of exercising some last bit of control.</p>
<p>LasMa–you’re a good mom.</p>
<p>LasMa…how gracious! That was a very nice turn-around.</p>
<p>I was afraid you would feel ganged up on with most of the replies, but I am so happy that you took the comments in a positive manner. I hope that you and daughter enjoy these last few months with her at home. Before you know it, she will graduate from college!
(a whole other set of challenges for us parents LOL )</p>
<p>Remind me again who is graduating? If she doesn’t want all the fuss, then fine. It’s her graduation, not yours and certainly not all the grandmas’ or aunts’ or cousins’ or neighbors or the pizza delivery guy’s day. I’m far from a tree hugger, but I agree with her on all the trees being cut down just to announce something that is already well known. I also agree that invitations lend themselves to begging for presents. </p>
<p>I was just like her. My only regret is I let the family insist I walk in hs and college. I hate to tell you but she probably will never like those pictures. Relax and let her do it her way and you’ll all be happier.</p>
<p>-------- ok, read your last post. Glad to see you’re letting her day as she wants. Give her a hug and validate her feelings on the subject.</p>
<p>
So what? Mom likes the pictures, and future grandchildren will have pictures to look at too. It’s a balancing act, I think it’s okay for you to have pictures (because you want them), but to forgo the big party (because she would hate it). Enjoy the last few months at home. My college son was home last summer, but this summer he is across the country - and I suspect there is a good chance he’ll end up there permanently.</p>
<p>From the title, I would have thought the daughter was demanding all the stuff mom wants…
I agree with the majority of the posters here… let her keep it simple.</p>
<p>Education is a HUGE deal in our family, too, but graduation from high school was always a forgone conclusion - never in doubt. We make a much bigger deal about our boys’ Eagle Scout ceremonies - now THAT was not a sure thing and they had to work WAY harder than they did for the high school diploma.</p>
<p>My son is OVER high school right now. Graduation is 3 days away, and I’m sure he’ll go and be happy to walk across the stage and get the diploma, but really, he’s already done. </p>
<p>Like many, I see the announcements as gift requests - we didn’t send any. Family and close friends know he’s graduating.</p>
<p>LasMa, I’m just in tears that you are so open to changing your pov on this. I tend to really dig in on things and I’m going to remember this. Big hugs to you and your lucky D.</p>
<p>Sounds like the OPs graduation celebration will be perfect…just what the graduate wants!</p>
<p>One kid wanted a party here…the other didn’t. We had a VERY small picnic for the one, and a neighborhood picnic for the other. No announcements sent as they didn’t want them. They chose the guest list (even the adults…they wanted people who knew THEM to be at these picnics). </p>
<p>The “gradzilla” title did make me chuckle. I do think it’s God’s way of making us WANT them to leave for college in the fall!!!</p>
<p>Wow…we weren’t planning on sending announcements, inviting anyone, or even having a party. I’ve heard of people having grandparents at the graduation if they are alive, and I’ve been to some college graduation parties, but I’ve never heard of a party for a high school graduation! If I did have one, I would state “no gifts”!</p>
<p>I agree with mdoc that your daughter sounds like the total opposite of a gradzilla. We should all have kids who have such good heads on their shoulders that they don’t want to brag, have parties, and get gifts…kids who feel like their accomplishment is enough.</p>
<p>LasMa…I am in awe of your ability to listen to the ideas/suggestions on this site in dealing with this new chapter in your life. You are a good Mom.
Be sure to do something special for yourself, in recognition of all the hard work you put into her first 18 years–take a moment to pat yourself on the back, too.
Your DD sounds like a great kid-BTW.</p>
<p>Maybe we are the ones that should get presents for graduation. The party should be in our honor.</p>
<p>What a thoughtful, considerate mom you are, LasMa! I hope your D has a pleasant graduation ceremony and that you all enjoy the low-key type of celebration that she wants.</p>
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<p>Without a doubt, the funniest post of the week – reminds me of my daughter at 17. Fortunately, for the public at large and my sanity, at almost 20 she is maturing into a lovely human being.</p>
<p>“The first signs of trouble were last October when we ordered announcements. She didn’t want announcements at all, pronouncing them to be nothing more than “begging for presents.” Plus “think of all the trees that have to be killed,” and “graduation is an industry and I don’t want to support it.” I was taken aback by her vehemence, but I finally insisted on ordering the minimum (25).”</p>
<p>I agree with your D. Neither of my sons ordered graduation announcements. Their reasons were the same as your D’s. H and I respected their wishes.</p>
<p>Older S also didn’t bother to go to his graduation. He had hated his school and our town. I hadn’t gone to my h.s. graduation either. Same reasons. </p>
<p>Older S also didn’t even have pictures taken for the yearbook. He did, though, cheerfully agree to have a family portrait taken to celebrate his graduation.</p>
<p>I think it’s their graduation, and we shouldn’t try to make them do things to please us.</p>
<p>I agree with grad on the industry part. We passed on the class ring. And I passed on my own prom.</p>
<p>Someday our children will have their own wildebeests in their trunks.</p>
<p>S1 didn’t want any pic other than what was absolutely required for the yearbook. They turned out fabulous. He didn’t give out any. I shared them with family, who enjoyed them. (The pics are for me – I admit it.)</p>
<p>He was vehemently opposed to sending out announcements (“no gift grubbing, mom!”), but I sent two to grandparents, who appreciated them and would have been upset had we NOT sent them, even though they would not be able to travel for the event. </p>
<p>No party, either. No new clothes. Told the HS where he was accepted to college, did not disclose scholarships awarded. He happily walked, though if it had been a choice between that and the programming competition he had been involved in for four years, he would have been cheerfully elsewhere last June.</p>
<p>Stongly suspect S2 will be the same way. He says graduating from HS is not that big a deal (for him). Earning the IB diploma, on the other hand, he says, IS a big accomplishment. </p>
<p>It’s not unreasonable – it’s keeping things in perspective. LasMa, do the parts of the coming week that will give you joy, and let your D do the parts that will make her happy. She’s got her head screwed on straight, and you just want to make it a special occasion. Both are equally valid points of view. Give that girl a big hug and resolve to ENJOY!!</p>
<p>I was walking down the fabric aisle in a department store several years ago and saw a bolt of red velvet. Suddenly I was carried back many years to my high school prom and the dress that my mother sat up nights sewing for me so that I would look pretty. I got tears in my eyes and wished at that moment that I could say thank you to my mother, because I am not sure whether I did at the time.</p>
<p>I was not always the most gracious and grateful of teenagers; I know that. I hope I made up for it in my mother’s later years. I really believe that a child cannot adequately thank a mother anyway. The only way to thank your parent for all they did is to be a good parent to your own child.</p>
<p>To the OP: You are indeed gracious. You have my complete sympathy for how you feel.</p>
<p>Add me to the list of those who think graduation announcements feel like bids for gifts.</p>
<p>glad to see you finding it working out. interesting how we all are different…I never thought about ordering announcements as I do kind of see them as asking for gifts…those who are close enough know your child is graduating without the announcement. neither my s or d would have wanted them either. </p>
<p>last year my s did not want a grad party, so we had a small special dinner out with family and couple friends. this year my d wanted a small friends only (hers) grad party and a special dinner. they are both low key, little shy kind of kids. (I imagine my S2 will want a big party as he is quite extroverted and loves the action and attention) I felt a little envious reading others’s plans for big parties as that was not happening here, but my kids were happy with their choices…</p>