<p>You’ve got incredible chutzpah with your sense of entitlement about other people’s money. </p>
<p>“So don’t feel resentful coz that will just make you rack up a huge therapy bill later on”</p>
<p>Hahahaha, great words to live by!</p>
<p>Its a gift.
The giver is under no obligation to give anything, so the gracious thing to do is be thankful.
And yes, I think OPs parent is awfully generous.
Don’t try and measure monetary gifts and assume they are actually love.</p>
<p>In our family, only children receive gifts for most occasions.
So I could say that because I have two kids, while my siblings have 4 & 5 kids, my family missed out.
But if I really cared, I should have just had more kids!</p>
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<p>Even more sense of entitlement. </p>
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<p>This. I’ve seen so many families with adult siblings who still squabble over who daddy or mommy loved best. Growing up means growing past stuff like that, imo.</p>
<p>I am an only child so all this fair’not fair was new to me. Honestly some of us woke up under a crabby/petty tree. Do you seriously think that kids don’t get that some siblings get “more” or Better? There is so much we can’t control. We all use the phrase from Mommy and Me…share. Sharing is a good thing. There were songs about sharing. Now suddenly sharing isn’t a good thing? Making one feel badly because you’re older? </p>
<p>Yes, it’s petty (but I’m guessing you picked up on this by now.) A gift is a gift. It’s not your money, and you don’t get to dictate how other people spend their money.</p>
<p>Life can be hard sometimes. Don’t go looking for any extra trouble! Let it go.</p>
<p>Nothing you can do about it–it’s not your money and not your place to tell the giver how to give. Be gracious and thankful.</p>
<p>My parents always supported my sister financially. She needed the $, I didn’t. Their Wills included my son, and sis doesn’t have a child. She could have complained that we (son & me) got more. There is just no way to be fair . Sure, your mom could say that by the time you are 21, everyone receives the same amount of $. It is not for you to suggest this, but for one of the older siblings. Meanwhile, enjoy the gift, and let your mom know how much you appreciate it. You are fortunate she has money to give, and is not dependent on her children.</p>
<p>The first time my son received a large (to him) sum of $4000 from his grandmother’s estate, he called to tell me he was having Lasik surgery the next day. He was 21, senior in college, and he was ready to ditch his contacts. He didn’t want my advice on doctors or anything. My mom, who wore glasses and/or contacts for years, would have approved. </p>
<p>As someone above has said-you’re going to get more at the higher “rate” than your older siblings, so it all evens out. That said, just the fact that your mother 1)has the money to do this and 2)is still around is a great gift in itself, so try to see that the intent is not to be unfair but to continue a tradition she started before she was financially comfortable enough to make even more generous gifts to you and your siblings. </p>
<p>In the long run, this isn’t about money, though certainly money makes the world go round for many people. Your mom is trying to share her good fortune with all of you-so try not to see the bad where there isn’t any. </p>
<p>I’ll echo some other posts and say that live is never really “fair”. When there is more than one kid, especially if there are several years in between them, there are multiple reasons it may not be possible to be exactly fair with parents’ money, time and personal possessions. But it’s how they FEEL about you that really matters. Do they love you? Support you? THAT’S the REAL gift!</p>
<p>I have had to rise above this, a relative has given each grandchild $5000 at college graduation. Back in '89 that bought a nice slightly used Civic. My youngest graduated in '13. $5000 was very welcome but nowhere near a reliable three year old car.
It’s not my money. Smile, nod and be happy that your kid got something. </p>
<p>Nothing is fair. My relatives used to give both kids money for Xmas and birthdays. I think the check stops when the kid reaches 18. Well for second kid, both grandparents were ill and the SIL didn’t have a job, so she didn’t have as much money she would have had for many years.
I find that in a lot of situations, sometimes I give one kid more expensive Xmas gifts then others. None ever complained.</p>
<p>If you are unhappy with the gift, feel free to re-gift it to someone else (like me!)
Our parents were not well off. H’s are deceased. They didn’t give gifts. Mine would give 20 or $30. Still grateful for their sacrifices and love.</p>
<p>It is ultimately the gift-giver’s prerogative and one does look petty complaining about it as the recipient. </p>
<p>Then again, there’s two things I tend to keep in mind:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Free anything is good so long as there’s few/no strings attached.</p></li>
<li><p>Be wary of any gifts with implicit/explicit conditions…especially from family. :)</p></li>
</ol>
<p>In our family, “gifts” started moving in the other direction awhile ago. At least from those of us that could afford it. </p>
<p>I do think the 100X thing is weird. Cute when a child, but odd as adults. </p>
<p>My parents gave each child, inlaw, grandchild the same amount (7 kids, 7 spouses, 24 grandkids). At Christmas, each family was given a check of $100 times the number in the family…so a family of 4 got $400. Yes, those with larger families got more, but they had more people. Fine. </p>
<p>Do not look a gift horse in the mouth.Smile and say thank you. And write a thank you note. Thats becoming a lost art.</p>
<p>No, it is not fair. But not a whole lot you can do about it except say thank you and be happy you have a generous relative.</p>
<p>Say thank you and be grateful you are getting a gift…at all.</p>