Thank you all for the support. To answer some questions.
They have been friends for 2 years but only dating for about 3 1/2 months. He is very aware of her mental issues. He is very stable himself which is good.
He has no family in the picture. His father is in his late 70s and very ill. His mother is estranged from him. He has no siblings that he is in contact with. He has been his own for several years and has some decent savings. He swears he has “run the numbers” and can afford this.
He wants my dd to stay home with the baby. I did discuss her doing pet sitting and finishing learning to groom dogs because those are things she could do and still be home but earn money. (She has experience in these areas and is very good at it).
They are renting a house and he can afford it on his salary.
We will help financially with baby care items, etc. He does not want to accept help at this point except for things like that.
She is adopted and is totally anti-adoption. He is also against it. Abortion is not in the discussion for either of them.
She won’t listen to anything I have to say at this point. She left to go to his town yesterday for a couple of weeks. I’m hoping she will look for a doctor there but I’m not sure. Insurance may be an issue but she has a plan (sort of).
I can’t solve her problems. She is not a child that will listen to me. In the future we will step up and make sure the child has a safe place to live. We just will not be in a place to raise it ourselves. We will make sure the child is first priority.
I have seen a therapist here. The NAMI chapters here have not met in several years and do not even answer e-mails any more. The nearest one that meets in an hour and a half away and I can’t get there after work. It sounds great and I wish there was one closer.
Again than you all.