My H made breakfast today as he often does. He said, where are your kids’ phone calls? I said, dunno, maybe they need prod from dad. We are packing to see S–leaving tomorrow. I can’t wait!
Spending a very special Mothers Day with my 94 year old memory impaired Mom in Texas - she’s always been funny but now with her memory lapses (and she’s very healthy and happy and not mean) she’s a hoot. I made a very nice brunch at my brothers house for my Mom, my 2 brothers, SIL and one niece. Gave my mom a gift of pretty smelling lotion and after bath spray - she went on and on about such a wonderful birthday gift and brunch. We each gently corrected her that it was Mother’s Day but 5 minutes later each time it was her birthday. We were eating outside by the pool - I went inside to bring our more coffee and when I came out everyone was laughing - apparently Mom was having a wonderful “birthday” but was sad her daughter (me) wasn’t there - well, I walked back outside right then and she was thrilled I showed for her birthday! Never mind I flew in yesterday and spent last evening at her place and all morning except for coffee refill! Ah…she is very happy and I do love her - Thanks Mom
That is so sweet, threeofthree.
We just finished speaking on the phone to each of our kiddos! I’m happy!
We celebrate it more than Valentine’s Day… but that’s not saying much 
When the kids were little my husband got them involved in making a nice meal for me, and sometimes there were small gifts. I reciprocated on Father’s Day. These days it’s a casual dinner with the family. Birthdays and Christmas are much, much bigger for all of us.
OTOH, both my mother and my mother-in-law get gifts, flowers and phone calls. They treasure the thoughts and gestures - and frankly deserve them. (Both are lovely.)
I went shopping today, and the clerks in three stores wished me a Happy Mother’s Day.
I can see how this might be an unfortunate thing to say to some customers. Some women who wanted to have children never got the chance. Some women who do have children are unlikely to hear from them on Mother’s Day – or ever. Some women may have recently lost their mothers or may have a bad relationship with their mothers.
As it happens, I don’t have a problem with Mother’s Day. I get along with my two kids – both of whom recognized the day in our family’s usual low-key way – and my mother has been dead for many years and I have long since adjusted to that fact.
But for some women, having someone wish you a Happy Mother’s Day has to sting.
S2 graduated yesterday, so I had the best Mother’s Day weekend of my life ;-).
Had a nice day with husband. Went hiking and golfing. D called early. Crickets from son. No idea why he avoids these things. I am not letting it ruin my day. If he wants to not call, that’s on him. If he wonders why I’m closer to his sister, he should know it’s because he doesn’t communicate.
He’s not mad or unhappy. He calls when there is something to tell me. I’m not mad either, it is what it is.
I called my mom, my H called his. Of course H called his mom from his phone. But why does she call back on my phone? She always does that, I can never figure it out.
Had the best mothers day gift -talking on the phone with my 28 yr old son for more than 2 hrs!
and hubby just surprised me by buying a uselful laundry room piece of equipment that I had mentioned I would like.
Mine was not a good day. My oldest did not contact me… I expected as much but was still let down in the hopes that she would . My middle is in the midst of a painful break-up , but sent me a gift and called. My youngest is in the middle of finals and absorbed all the pressure to make up for the lack of anything from the oldest…I made it clear that her schoolwork was top priority. My husband sent me flowers …and is traveling tonight to visit his mother.
I have become more conscious of those who find this day painful for a host of reasons , whether estrangement , loss of a child or mother.
Tomorrow is another day
Hugs @lje62. Like you say tomorrow is another day
S17 found a card D gave me in 2007 and gave it to me again. D herself was in Cuba but she called from the airport to say happy mother’s day. H made me coffee and picked up fried chicken, my favorite. I detest flowers so my family knows not to waste money on them. Sons 1 and 3 wished me happy mother’s day. Son 2 is away and is not the greetings kind - he is the most like me that way, totally unsentimental. I am hopeful that next weekend we can go out one day because it’s my birthday, which is more special to me than a generic mother’s day. My own mother is dead.
OTOH, if we don’t make a total fuss over H on Father’s Day, he sulks for weeks.
Like so many holidays or celebrations, it can be wonderful or sometimes painful, or a bit of both. I think our culture hypes up so many holidays and celebrations that many, if not most, people are bound to be let down…
I am sorry lje62 that you did not hear from your oldest. Did you hear from her last Sunday? If not,did you feel as bad? Probably not. But this arbitrary recognition of mothers on this day makes us feel worse if things are not what we might like them to be with our children.
I got a call from both D’s, a bouquet of flowers sent from D1 and a card from D2. S said HMD and gave me a small hug and a kiss on the cheek. Yet I saw all these people professing love,appreciation, admiration and greatfulness to their mother on Facebook. I felt a bit jealous.
WHAT? That is completely ridiculous. This is the hype I am talking about. lje62, so glad you heard from middle and youngest. I hope you can resolve whatever is between you and oldest.
My D did post a pic of the two of us on Facebook this morning with a Happy Mother’s Day banner. But I kind of think she was also trying to send a message to someone else as well. The caption under the photo was “If you’ve ever done me wrong, just know that my mother knows and she doesn’t like you!”
H surprised me with a set of amazing cocktail glass (think Mad Men) that we had seen at a fabulous
store a few weeks ago. He always gets flowers so this was much more.
D is here with her fiancé and we spent a busy but fun day going to 5 hotels and looking at rooms as well as
going to 5 parks looking for a wedding site. They are to be married in Sept. with a handful of folks.
D gave me a dozen red roses and FSIL bought me a big ballon boot that said Happy mother’s Day.
I teased him that it was the boot from the wicked witch of OZ.
H (and I in the end but he tried. The searing of the Halibut caught him ) and D made a nice dinner.
S texted and said, “Happy Mother’s Day I love You!”. So–the “I love you” is good enough for me.
Sadly, I had a mother who never liked a thing that was given to her. The memory of her helped me
not say a word when H served the Halibut with the pancake turner and served the rice with
a cooking utensil and D used paper napkins and the wrong plates …all was good and I was
happy.
Yes, but I think this is particularly true of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
I dread Father’s Day every year because one of my grown kids is not on good terms with my husband, and for convoluted reasons, my husband blames me for the distance between them. That kid will not contact my husband on Father’s Day as a matter of principle, and my husband will be angry with me for weeks. It happens every year.
Other holidays can be difficult, too, but at least they don’t celebrate some of the trickiest and most emotionally loaded relationships in our lives.
@greenbutton wrote
YES! I was so aggravated yesterday when I saw an illustration making the rounds of bunches of flowers and underneath it was “people who’ve lost their moms” “people who’ve lost their child”, and that’s fine (but not my thing), but they included “childless women”.
I was like, uh, yeah, no. Those people who are child-free by choice are NOT boo-hooing over Mother’s Day and they don’t need your misguided sympathy flowers, ugh!
@“Youdon’tsay” wrote
I agree with this so much! And I do think it is up to us women to communicate our needs clearly to our spouses and kids-“I need you to make an effort on this day”. Dudes are not mind readers and children are self-absorbed when they’re teenagers-if there’s anything I’ve learned in 24 years of marriage and 19 years of parenting, it’s that :).
^^My only objection to having the father model for the kids is what happened in my family. DH went beyond just modeling to doing everything for my sons when it came to MD and my birthday. He’d buy the gifts and cards that were from them up until they left for college. He also paid for everything for them even when they had the money to do so. Then, after they left for college, he’d be sure to remind them of upcoming occasions. S1 eventually got the idea himself, probably because his gf (now wife) was doing things for her mother. S2 took alot longer to get the idea it was now on him, but he’s pretty good at acknowledging MD and birthdays now at age 26.
Modeling is fine, but include the kids in what you’re doing.
I hope that Mother’s Day (or Father’s Day) is what each individual hopes it will be - and maybe that “hopes” not be too high. It is just a day and not an indication how much you are thought of/loved/appreciated.
I’ll admit to not being an “occasion” person overall. And I have to say I was about ready to gag over all the photos posted on Facebook when I looked last night of their array of flowers, gifts, expansive buffets, etc. A few people literally had a photo of their gifts/flowers/cards all lined up. It was a bit much for me to digest!
Messages of memories I like to read. I’ll thumbs up to that.
@abasket , I have to admit that the social media posts of all the perfect mothers and how their children celebrated them added to my sadness. While I realize that FB isn’t exactly the best place to see the reality of any relationship , I can’t help but think how people take inventory of who posts what. Two of my daughters as well as my step daughter
( who I have had a rocky history with ) honored me. I really appreciated that and don’t mean to be a whiner, but I have always had a particularly close relationship with my first born , so it was painful to be ignored