<p>My son just started at U Mich. and seems happy, but is less effusive than I expected. Is it a guy thing? CC Parents - are your sons communicating total bliss as college freshman or do they just seem generally happy?</p>
<p>My D has a friend far from home. It seems he’s having just a bit of trouble with the adjustment. He tells D that, but said he doesn’t talk with his mom about it.
Senior D on the other hand, has said that she expects to call me every night for a week begging to come home. (She has always had trouble with transitions. Camps, long field trips, summer programs.) Then she connects with people and I don’t hear from her until it’s time to come home at which time she calls crying and begging to stay.
I don’t think boys do crying on the phone very well, and so probably don’t want to talk about it. Especially with parents.</p>
<p>I think it depends a lot on individual personality, but I do think boys are less expressive of emotions than girls, generally speaking. My younger son is pretty open about what he is thinking and feeling, but my older son will generally just clam up when not happy and be relaxed, but not particularly effusive, when happy. I also think they talk more to friends and even siblings than to parents about such things. They may be afraid parents will get too emotional themselves. (Now where would they get an idea like that??) I know this spring my older son had two major disappointments within one week that totally changed his future plans. To us he pretended to be fine, even though we knew he couldn’t be. But he did tell his younger brother how depressed he was over the setbacks. (Fortunately, he has made new plans and is looking forward to them–just hope they work out!)</p>
<p>I don’t know, but with two boys and no girls, I feel like I’ve spent my life trying to glean the tiniest clues about my sons’ feelings. </p>
<p>“Effusive” - not most boys I know!</p>
<p>My son said this about MIT a week after he arrived there: “yeah, it’s pretty cool.”</p>
<p>That was as effusive as he got. But he keeps going back, and he tells his friends he likes it.</p>
<p>My son prides himself on calling us every 4 days but often it is very quick between classes, he reports a few tibbits and has to run. He is however still as a sophomore thrilled with Pomona. My D calls most every day long conversations, good and bad, happy things and stresses, decisions to make, new friends but has mixed reviews- is happy but not ecstatic. I know most guys are less open or even a little less in touch with all their feelings but the total bliss with school seems less so a gender thing, more of a fit between student and school and also how long it takes particular students to adjust. I am hoping that by the end of the year my D will feel similarly about USD as my S does about Pomona but we will have to wait and see and hope.</p>
<p>S is happy but not into calling home. He sounds exactly like Dmd’s S. Everything and everyone is “pretty cool.” From him, it’s high praise.</p>
<p>Every since Junior High, school for my son has been “Fine. Nothing interesting.” Soccer practice is “Good. Nothing interesting.” I expect college to be “OK. Nothing interesting”. He will occasionally have long conversations with his Dad, usually about rock music, analyzing the soccer game, or discussing how to make a waffle-iron float for Homecoming. With me, I get very few details.</p>
<p>I tell people that with my daughter, I knew that Barbie and Peter were gong to break up two months before they did (and my Daughter is neither Barbie or Peter). With my son, I didnt know that two of his friends broke up until two months AFTER they broke up.</p>
<p>There is definitely a difference between boys and girls!</p>
<p>Peg</p>
<p>I’ve only heard enthusaism for some of my son’s classes (and one in particular) and only through AIM messages. One progression went:</p>
<p>“classes were good, nothing much happening yet…”
“this HASS class [humanities] is going to be Awesome.”
“but the prof is just amazing and the first reading I’m doing looks Really good …”
“hass was AMAZING. it’s going to be just beautiful”</p>
<p>So apparently he likes this particular class, y’think? 
I guess if he has to gush about something, he could pick something worse than his classes.</p>
<p>He’s still p.o.'ed about having to share a single room, but is hopeful that won’t last through 2nd semester. He has classes that run continuously and keep him from lunch on Tues/Thurs which irritates him a bit, but he’s learning to carry a sandwich and apple. The few times I’ve talked with him on the phone, he’s sounded relaxed and upbeat and completely in his element. I think I can say he’s happy. Effusive? Except for his comments about that one class, no. He did tell me once that he’s sure he made the right college decision, though.</p>
<p>my son tends to stick to business items, but seems to be happy. We’re ecstatic everytime he communicates with us at all. Not much feedback on his classes yet, other than what they are. He placed out of a bunch of stuff and reported being pleased with that. He’s disappointed that he didn’t get the dorm he wanted, but the one he is in is “okay”, and he was pleased to get a single. We’ll probably never hear about Barbie and Peter breaking up. At best he might mention the names of his friends, but nothing more than that about them.</p>
<p>Same here with my new Freshman S. How are your classes? “Good” How are things going with your roommate? “Good.” I am trying to ask more challenging questions, like, Is there anything that is not going well? Ummm, I can’t get my computer connected to the network! Now that is a big one for my S who built his own pc, has had Cisco networking classes, and loves to play WOW…but he was very subdued about it. Go figure.</p>
<p>After 2 weeks of almost no communication (S asserting his independence) the feedback is so startlingly positive we are holding our breath, afraid it is too good to be true. After a HS career of either “boring” or “nothing” being the answer to almost any question, S writes in an email that “these teachers really know their stuff” and “I have learned more in 2 weeks here than I could in a month at HS.” Although not participating in his main HS varsity sport, he has signed up for flag football (with 4 guys from his floor) and… beach volleyball!</p>
<p>pdxmere, my D just started at UM too. She, on the other hand, has been enthusiastic about everything it seems. So, perhaps it’s a girl thing that brings out the enthusiasm. She seems to be grabbing ahold of all the opportunities of big school and new city. I’m sure she’ll soon realize she can’t do it all! Does your son mention getting involved in activities beyond classes? I think that’s an indicator…especially at Michigan where there is soooo much to do. If he’s not finding anything to do outside of class, I’d wonder. Otherwise, it may just be the “guy thing.”</p>
<p>Agree it’s a guy thing!</p>
<p>We mostly learn our son’s opinion of his school when we overhear his answers to other parents’ questions:
“Yeah, the profs are amazing.” “My freshman seminar is really nuts.” (This is good, apparently!)
“Most of the kids here are ridiculous” This is said in such a way to translate into “very smart”.
To us, things are ‘fine’. Few calls home, he’s too busy having fun and hopefully, studying.</p>
<p>this thread made me laugh - I am so glad to hear I am not the only one feeling the same way…
The best I can gather is that he seems to be happy, seems to have good profs, and seems to have friends, and generally seems to be happy :)</p>
<p>and he DOES love the surprise care packages ! (they’ve been “homemade” misc snacks, etc. but my next one will be ordered from Zaro Bakery in NYC - will also be trying fatwitch brownies)</p>
<p>Yes, my S fits right in here. He’s supposed to call home on Sunday night. First week’s excuse was he got back from a program too late. To make sure he called the next Sunday I emailed him that I’d like to talk to him about his birthday coming up. That insured the call! Of course, even when he did call, he had to be off by 9:00 p.m. because the season premier of Family Guy was coming on. He does have his priorities afterall…</p>
<p>My S usually calls me on his trek across campus between classes…first time he called I thought I had a prank caller with all the heavy breathing…it was just him hiking up the side of the mountain (he goes to Lehigh) and he was taking his mind off the hike by chatting! :)</p>
<p>Mootmom: dare you say which HASS your son is enjoying? My son professes to be annoyed and bored by all of his.</p>
<p>laxmom, My son also calls on his way places, usually to the practice rooms. Guess that’s a time he has nothing else to do. Of course, it also keeps the conversation short. :-)</p>
<p>dmd77: sure, I can say, although you and I may be the only ones interested. 21W.784 - Becoming Digital.
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