As title says…for those who have ventured before class of 2020: what was the most difficult, unforeseen, challenging part of the BonVoyage to college for you as a parent?
And on the other side: if your son/daughter has shared, what was it for them?
Parking.
Saying goodbye - without visible evidence of tears.
^^ and then, feeling dejected/worried/stupid when we didn’t hear from him for a week (it was because he lost his phone but that was a long week).
The most challenging unforeseen part of dropping off D2 was the stress of having two students and four parents in the dorm room at one time. But I was motivated to be on my best behavior because D’s roommate and her mom were grousing at each other and I didn’t want to be like them. The most difficult, but definitely predictable, part of dropping off both D1 and D2 was walking away after saying good-bye. I cried a lot.
Yup, I cried. Driving or traveling home without them was miserable.
How quiet and weird the house seemed for a while after leaving her at school.
^^ that- it was strange to realize they weren’t asleep down the hall or wouldn’t wander into the kitchen in the morning. Especially strange after the 4th and final drop off.
Agree with all of the above…but in addition 1) I had to resist my maternal urge to unpack and organize the door room for my kids because deep down I knew it was time for them to take charge of things 2) also I had to ignore the fact that my kid’s attention was focused much more on the roommate and kids down then hall than on me and H.
I used to get sad when I walked by D1’s room at home, and I would go lie on her bed sometimes. It was very hard to say good-bye. I was better prepared with D2.
I think it’s hardest when you have to walk away or see them walk away back into their dorm. But I also felt immense pride in them. So it was a mixed bag.
I have a ritual whereby I will read a very touching poem then send them off. With my first, I didn’t t cry but I think I will with my second who is a girl and my last.
I shouldn’t be reading this thread yet, but I can’t not. DS is HS class of 2017 but is away now for 6 weeks this summer. Sad walking by the closed door of his room. I’m counting the days.
I think the worst will be experiences that would have been shared and where he would be the person in the family that I would have talked with most about it. He won’t be here for the political conventions this summer, and we would have cheered “our team” and been snarky about “the other team”. It just makes me realize that he’ll be off at college the following year for the final season of Game of Thrones, for Star Wars VIII, for Blade Runner 2, etc.
Hugs to those of you who’ve already been through this.
@Ynotgo, “The Good Wife” was my and D2’s show. Once D2 was in college, I recorded all the episodes, and didn’t watch them until she came home for breaks and we could watch together. She graduated from college in 2015, and I kept up the tradition. Because we didn’t have time to watch all the episodes when she was home briefly this June, we still don’t know how the show ends.
Ok, I won’t tell how it ends. 
All of the above bring the memories rushing back. Say what you really want to say, either the day before, or in the car before you start the move-in process. You probably won’t get a private moment to do that - there will be some sort of quick hug goodbye so they can start meeting other kids and settle in. I still cry in the car after leaving any of them.
The first week at home without the oldest was the weirdest thing. There was this palpable void - like a hole in the soul of our family. We would awkwardly look at each other in the family room at night, and look at the seat without a person, and then look away.
The other hardest thing was seeing how upset the siblings were at their older brother leaving. They had never experienced any sort of “loss” - and having a person that has lived with you every day of your life move out, was a sort of “loss”. Seeing them upset made me realize how close they all were, and that also made me really happy - seeing confirmation of that closeness.
But… I also thought I would NEVER recover from them leaving. And I did. It definitely takes a while, but you do adjust to a new normal in your house. You develop new ways of staying in touch. You appreciate the times you can be together. It is very satisfying to watch them succeed out on their own.
The hardest part was her begging to come home with us.
It was hard the first time. But it got easier fairly quickly, esp. once it became clear in a week or so that she was doing well and having fun.
I think that’s what most of us worry about: are they going to be OK there?
It’s a fun, exciting time!
For me, the hardest part was the anticipation. Her whole senior year, it was always in the back of my mind that this was the “last” of everything…her last birthday at home, her last first day of school at home, her last this, her last that. I could tear up very easily just thinking about her going. I savored every moment. I echo pretty much everything that has been said before…saying good bye, seeing her focus on her hellos instead of our good bye and, yes, parking woes. BUT…I realized almost immediately that the anticipation was far more difficult than the reality. She was ready and raring to go and pretty soon after we left her, I felt a huge sense of relief of having that incredibly difficult senior year OVER! So for me, the hardest part wasn’t dropping her off at college, it was dreading it for a full year beforehand.
Actually, compared to dropping off the 2nd child off at preschool, dropping the kids off at college was easy. Somehow, that separation was more wrenching because they had been attached to me pretty much 24/7 since they were born. Both kids were increasingly independent as they got older, so somehow, it wasn’t as difficult when they went off 2500 miles to college. It helped that we dropped off S and then didn’t drop off D for another 3 semesters.
Traffic. One can’t even begin to understand how bad it is regardless of location, for a larger 30k-40k state school. It would be nice if such places followed the cruise ship industry and provided a rather narrow window of a couple hours instead of everyone showing up at the same time.