Not wanting to come off as the helicoptering mom since I hadn’t heard from S2 in a week since dropping him off, I asked S1 to text S2 “just to see what he’s up to” and report back to me. Then getting a call from S2 with so much noise in the background you could hardly hear him and he says “S1 said you wanted me to call you - what’s wrong?”. Uggghhh, S1 bailed on his responsibility. S2 was fine and said he was at a giant block party and he’d call me when things slowed down. a bit. That was 3 years ago and I don’t think he ever wants to leave college. I didn’t have that kind of college experience.
I felt like my daughter’s whole childhood was a process of leave-taking because she always wanted to live abroad. She went on a few of those overpriced People to People junkets in middle school, then a school trip to France in high school, so when she picked a college close to home, I was pleasantly surprised. By her junior year, she was ready to go again, and has spent the last 372 days (minus 12 days at Christmas) in England and France.
She comes home next Friday, but will spend the rest of the summer writing her Fulbright application so she can go back to France after she graduates. I think I’m used to the idea of her living her own life far from us, though it makes me sad.
My son is more of a homebody, so was a little more anxious at drop-off last fall. He called us every few days at first and didn’t make friends until the second semester. But I saw him mature in ways I didn’t expect, most notably in his tolerance of people who disagree with him and in his resilience.
The most helpful thing in letting go is to focus on our kids’ growth as young adults.
The hardest part? Well, not the ride home in the minivan without her … which took all of … 10 minutes!
The “sadness” that surprised me most came from the dog. For a good month after D left for college the dog would spend hours lying on her bed (which had not been one of her typical “spots” before). Got me every time…
Other than how hard it was turn turn around and leave our oldest that fist time, the other hard things were how much her younger sister missed her, and the time a few weeks after move-in that DH threw some burgers on the grill and we didn’t realize until we were sitting down to eat that he had made the usual five, but there were only four of us. Sad sad meal.
The best times are hearing stories of all the fun things she’s doing and all the big and little things she tells us that indicate she’s doing well and growing up, just like she’s supposed to, and picking her up from the airport as a family and enjoying how happy our kids are to be together after the long absence. One of my favorite photos in recent memory is one I took at the airport just after she arrived, of the kids taking a selfie together.
I agree with #32. I don’t remember if was winter or spring break but I took D to the airport and it seemed like half of the flyers in the luggage drop off lines had on college sweatshirts. I thought, “All of these young adults are leaving their families.” My head began to spin. I cried buckets for each student. Gut wrenching sobs. I can’t imagine how that thought popped into my head as D had been away from home significantly before then.
All three of mine were ready and raring to go to college. There were nerves, but no tears. My husband and I were happy for them. It was a natural progression in lfe. That said, the hardest parts were this interior monologue:
Good Lord do you really need to take ALL that stuff?
What if all doesn’t fit in the minivan?
Could you possibly get up a little bit earlier? We need to load all this stuff.
(For the two who went to a large university…) What the h*** is with all this traffic? Are ALL these loaded minivans headed to the campus? (Yes, yes they were.)
Thank goodness we brought the youngest kid to stand next to the pile o’ stuff that we just dumped onto the sidewalk outside that 9 story giant dorm.
Is it possible that there is literally NO parking spot left on this entire campus?
I wonder if we could get this stuff up to the seventh floor faster if we used the stairs?
Is it possible that the elevators could move more slowly?
Is there working air conditioning anywhere on this campus?
Smile and nod, smile and nod. Do not say a word that is even slightly critical.
Do not say what I really think about the need or placement of the giant TV the roommate brought.
Based on how hot it is in here we could bring this comforter back home for a couple of months.
Will he want to walk down to the van with us?
Did I remember to tell him how much I love him?
Did I tell him I love him too many times in front of other people?
Don’t hold the hug too long.
Have I just embarrassed him in front of his roomate?
Is he smiling?
Are his eyes smiling?
(I can hear him making plans with his roomate as we leave.)
He’s going to be OK.
I’m going to be OK.
Wow, I’m hot.
There’s a lot less traffic leaving.
Did I remember to pick up a good bottle of wine yesterday?..
Why did you post this? I am crying already, and she hasn’t even gone yet. 
I should add that I am thrilled and delighted for her, and she is excited and happy.
^this^ My oldest is just a rising senior and i have been crying since starting this thread tonight-- it makes my heart ache and my chest heavy…
@eastcoascrazy, I believe I said a lot of those things out loud.
Tears aren’t just for dropoff. I am pretty sure I am going to be a puddle of tears at D2’s graduation. She has had the most amazing undergrad experience – I know she adores her school and is very sad that she has to graduate.
I’m crying reading these posts, anticipating dropping her off in 6 weeks. The other day she mentioned that she was all caught up on a series that I watch on Netflix. I thought to myself, “good, we can watch the new season together in the fall.” It wasn’t until the next day that I remembered that she won’t be here when the new season starts.
I’ve dropped off two now. The first didn’t go far so I was basically OK. The second did go far. That dropoff was more emotional but I didn’t cry. The next day when I made the long drive home from NYC alone, I cried all the way through New Jersey (so, an hour) then stopped at the first exit in PA and got coffee and a sandwich and that was that.
One thing i did that made ME feel better, and my D also said she really appreciated, was to buy a gift and hide it before i left her dorm. It was a coffee mug with an inspirational quote about shooting for the moon and landing among the stars, and I wrote an encouraging “you can do this, I’m proud of you, you got this etc” (she was a little afraid of her reach school) sort of note and hid it on her pillow under her comforter. She texted when she found it and later in the year sent me a photo of her drinking out of it and said “you were right mom, it’s all good”.
I’m pretty sure I got that idea here on CC last year.
@eastcoascrazy :((
@OHMomof2, thanks for passing along that great idea. I will be using it. I know D could use some encouragement like that. 
::::::::love your list::::::::
S has begun the process of randomly walking over to me, leaning his head down, and hugging me for no reason. Yep, 46 days to go…
In the same vein as the hidden gift, I went around town after dropoff and picked up some gift cards and gift certificates to places I thought they would like to try (pizza, frozen custard, bookstore, etc). Put them in sealed envelopes to be opened each month and mailed them to them. It was also my HS graduation gift to them. It gave me something to do and a reason to leave.
@intparent, did you also send your children pix of the guinea pig? I love it!
Our last piggy passed away shortly before D2 left for college, and although I love them, I am allergic. So I do not own one at the moment. But this photo (with the hat) is D1’s recently acquired and much beloved pig. She asked me to use him as her avatar, so here he is.
I also did the hidden present thing for both boys. And the gift card thing for ds2.
Another thing I did for ds1 and ds2 and three of his friends that was a hit was to do individual 4x6 photo albums of them. Most of the pics were taken from FB, but I had hidden some back just for this occasion and surprised them. Kids always can go to pics on FB or Instagram, but having an album lying around their room is a conversation-starter for visitors. And on the last page I put a Pooh quote that will cause crying. For ds1, it was “Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” For ds2, it was “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” sigh