<p>Here’s just a simple thing he might try - leave his door open. D1’s proctor told us as we moved her in that is one of the best ways to get to know other kids.</p>
<p>Move in weekend was fun, but HOT! D’s room is charming, and we enjoyed meeting her roommate and roommate’s family. We decided to leave earlier than planned on Sunday, due to needing to get our younger children back to school, (and because once we got the car unpacked, we seemed to be very superfluous) and very reluctantly missed the opening remarks by President Faust and the photo. Any reports on these activities?</p>
<p>My d is happy, nervous, and reportedly making lots of friends. When she calls (which has been infrequent) she is in a hurry, and so it was very difficult to read any emotion in her voice. </p>
<p>She seems fine —no news is good news, right? I, on the other hand, feel as if I have been hit by a train. I love having more time for the other kids, but I really really miss her.</p>
<p>On another note, GAdad—I was really looking forward to meeting you and other CAers and I did lurk around the CA table at Annenburg a few times, but it was deserted, and I felt totally stood up!</p>
<p>Reply to Guitars 101: My niece was very homesick after leaving home for college in Boston last year, and my sister was a wreck. It was a while before she caught on to the fact that she couldn’t really manage my niece from a distance, and run up to Boston every weekend. (7 hour drive) </p>
<p>I second the perspective that often you get a call that alarms you, and you obsess about it for hours, while the kid has moved on to parties, movies, dinner, and other fun. It reminds me of when they were little, and would fall and then quickly look at your face to determine if they should cry. If you smiled back, most of the time they got up and that was the end of it. Sympathetic listening, with appropriate sighs, empathetic “un-huhs.” etc seem to diffuse things too. Your son probably has some very good problem solving skills already—he’s at Harvard, right? Just make sure you encourage him to use them.</p>
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<p>In her four years at Harvard the majority of the calls we got came while she was on the way to somewhere - while walking from point A to point B. It apparently was the primary time she was able to fit us in. She usually sounded slightly out of breath since she was in a hurry, and the calls always had to end when she arrived at her destination.</p>
<p>^ That’s a very apt description of my D’s calls. I am completely at peace with her being there. I know when she isn’t okay. She is just fine. And I’m really pretty content with our new configuration at home. I’m appreciating the reduction in labor in terms of laundry, cooking, general complexity. This is happening for us at the right moment. I think about her pretty much constantly but I am glad she is where she is. And I have a new email buddy - the mom of one of her roommates. That’s fun. I get another perspective on how things are going. And D2 seems to be blossoming as she starts high school and I think the undivided attention from mom and dad is good for her right now. It’s all good. At least today.</p>
<p>Loki - Yup, I lurked a bit too while I was in Annenberg and then it occurred to me that with over 1600 freshman families and probably fewer than 16 of us, we comprise less than 1% of the whole - pretty scarce. Well, during Parents weekend, there’s a free lunch in the fieldhouse before the Saturday football game. Assuming none of us are the types to pass up a free lunch, perhaps we should designate a way to touch base there.</p>
<p>OK–its a deal!</p>
<p>Guitars101,
In an earlier post you mentioned Skype. I took the advice and signed up its awesome. Did you try it, if not you should. I can see my D’s face when I talk to her and occasionally her roommates will come behind and say hi etc. Even though calls are rushed (as she is usually on her way here or there) its great to see her face, if she just wants to ask a quick question she skypes me I give her the answer and she’s off, almost like she is still home! It is free computer to computer but you can also skype a phone etc. For us this is good because we live in Europe and its cheaper than calling direct. If you haven’t done it give it a try, it will give you some peace to see his face and see that he is allright!</p>
<p>On another note is anyone bringing siblings to Parents Weekend? Gadad, you have done it before is the time really planned or is it like move in weekend where you can participate or not. What is your take on it?</p>
<p>We brought the siblings to move-in, but will not bring them to parents’ weekend. This is mostly because (1) expense, and (2) because they have their own activities, etc, and would prefer to stay home!</p>
<p>I echo Loki5 - we took D2 to move-in, which was very good because DH and I basically gabbed with other parents while she helped her big sister move-in. She has too much school stuff, though, to miss another whole weekend this semester. Thinking about bringing a set of grandparents though. These are ones that were very negative about seeing one of their offspring go to an Ivy League school - now they want to go see it for themselves and see D1.</p>
<p>Thanks, I will think on it. Mammal… That is interesting, why did GP’s have a negative feeling about Ivies? Just wondering because I was surprised my in-laws who also had a similar reaction, not neccesarily negative more that they were intimidated by their preconceived notion of what Harvard was like. They live several hours from Harvard and we suggested they go take my D to lunch and see for themselves! Will let you know what they think!!!</p>
<p>^ I think in addition to the attention to “first-generation college” we need a little attention to “first-generation Ivy League”. It has been quite a challenge for our extended family to process, but they’re coming around.</p>
<p>We didn’t bring D2 to Move-in or either of the two Parents weekends. She always had her own school activities going on. What we did instead was fly her there during her Spring Break to stay with Big Sis in the dorms, go to classes, and live the life of a college kid for a whole week. We did this twice - once during D1’s freshman year in the Yard dorms and again during her senior year in her House. It was great. </p>
<p>We also brought D2 to graduation.</p>
<p>EAO - There are a bunch of things planned for Parents Weekend and they’re all optional. Surely no omne would do all of them. It kind of makes me laugh because I’m a college Dean of Students and I help chair my school’s Parents Weekend. Of course I’m offended when parents don’t think it’s worth going to the things that our committee has planned, but when I was on the other side, I skipped all the info sessions and panel discussions! I wanted to see D1’s classrooms and meet her friends so that I had mental images of her life at college. We all found the mass lunch on Saturady to be chaotic but fun, and you ought to go to the Harvard-Columbia football game for the historic experience if not the game. Harvard Stadium is the oldest concrete stadium in the world, built in 1903 when H was the center of the college football world. At one end zone, the years of H’s eight national championships are commemorated (the most recent was 1919 
). Our younger daughter was intrigued and motivated by the weekend and her little brother had fun. On the other hand, taking a family to Cambridge for a long weekend is ridiculously expensive. At the price, you might as easily take them to Europe.</p>
<p>Anyone still reading The Harvard Crimson?</p>
<p>For your entertainment:</p>
<p>[The</a> Harvard Crimson :: Opinion :: Camp Harvard Revealed](<a href=“http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=524003]The”>http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=524003)</p>
<p>Actually Gadad I live in Europe! But we do have family in the Cambridge area, so that helps. All good advice and I think we will definately do football game. Thanks. Coureur that sounds like a better option that way we all get to spend time with her rather than all at once.</p>
<p>Speaking of Camp Harvard, did anyone receive the Paper call “The First Year” put out by the Crimson? Right before the welcoming ceremony I overheard a few “officials” from the Dean’s office talking about it. Basically they had told them not to send it and they did anyway and the woman from the Deans office had just found out that the Crimson had sent it because several parents had come up and asked about it. They were upset that it had been sent and surprised since they had specifically told them no. It was interesting to overhear and I just thought I’d pass it on. Not sure what you all thought of it but I thought it was pretty negative and painted a not so great picture of Harvard and was kind of surprised they sent it but after hearing this conversation I realized that it was something they didn’t want sent in the first place!</p>
<p>What the heck is with the article?? :(</p>
<p>Delightful satire, which always reveals some basic truths. </p>
<p>“The First Year” gives real peeks into Harvard student culture. While it might include details the College does not want advertised, parents must acknowledge that a culture dicatated by 18-22 year olds might not develop into the ideal one portrayed in glossy college brochures. </p>
<p>For instance, the description of the Houses and the Blocking /Lottery system gives fair warning for students to prepare by finding a group of friends, and also consider the major possibility they will be assigned to the distant Quad houses, or concrete charmless Mather. The plus sides of these situations is given (Quad can equal large rooms and the shuttle is great; Mather = singles for life and a close community).</p>
<p>I hope the administration does not ban the First Year–forwarned is forearmed. And the students are all smart & strong enough to deal with the bumps in the road/yard they encounter.</p>
<p>Anybody know anything about parents’ weekend for juniors?</p>
<p>DocT, The only thing that I know is that it is scheduled for 6-7 March 2009. I, too, would appreciate thoughts from parents who have previously attended.</p>