To give the benefit of the doubt, maybe that poster didn’t realize the poor timing.
I agree with you FallGirl! SAHM is a choice and at times harder and at times easier than jobs I’ve had before. That shouldn’t even matter. I was just relaying what my husband said to the family, and he said it that way because people always implied I was “taking the easy road” by staying home. It was actually hard to leave my job because I enjoyed it but I am happy with my choice. And I think working outside the home or not is totally up to the couple involved and no one else.
I think it’s patronizing to say “SAHM is a harder choice.” That depends entirely on the woman herself and whether she’s naturally cut out to do this or whether there were other circumstances, the particular children involved (some people love the baby stage, others don’t), and the financial resources available.
Because please, I really don’t want to hear how hard it is for a SAHM with school age children, household help, and the ability to go to the gym or out with other women all day long. My friend who was a SAHM to a special needs child worked harder, and that’s a fact. OTOH, I work hard but my life is still easier than that of the single WM who schleps her kid on 2 cross town buses to get to daycare and then stands on her feet in a factory job all day. Point is, you can make no assumption about how hard someone works based on SAHM v WM status. And it’s not a contest to prove how hard working you have it.
OP- Quite a few years ago now when I had first been a SAHM for a few years my Mom and I met my sister in NYC for several days. On one evening my sister arranged a dinner at one of the top NY restaurants with her business partner and a mutual friend of theirs who had been living in NYC for a few years. I happened to be seated next to this friend of my sister and we had a very enjoyable and lively conversation and a lovely dinner. My sister told me later that the next time she saw this friend he related to her that he had been disappointed when we first sat down at dinner and he was seated next to the SAHM from the midwest and wondered what in the heck we would have to talk about and thought he was in for a boring evening. He was very pleasantly surprised to be disabused of this notion and told my sister that he had had a very enjoyable time conversing with me and was surprised at how many interesting things we had to talk about. 
Be confidant in who you are! There is no shame in expending time and energy to nurture young human beings.
This. Why does everything have to be some kind of competition? SAHM versus working mom, breast versus bottle, cloth versus disposable - why does it seem that these are not choices but contests?
I hate to sound all kum-ba-yah, but why can’t we just support one another in our life choices instead of bickering and judging?
Dke, a simple I’m not presently working is probably the best response. It’s simple and open ended, people don’t know if you’ve been laid off, between jobs or home by choice. No need to expound.
Answer the question you wished they’d asked. What are you excited about? What do you look forward to doing or where do you look forward to going in the next 6 months? What’s your dream job? “I’m a stay at home mom but my dream job is to be paid to travel. I love seeing new places.”
In social situations and at school/kids’ events (as opposed to business events) I ALWAYS have to be the one who asks what the other person does. Although it must have happened some time, I can’t remember a time when a man or a woman at a social event asked me what I do. It seems that everyone is afraid to ask that question of a woman. When I ask the question, I am looking for common ground.
I don’t ask that question because of all the issues brought up in this thread. I don’t ask men, either. DH has a sibling with a chemical imbalance who ended up on SS disability. He looks fine and can make conversation, but I see him squirm when asked “the question.”
My response? “I don’t work outside the home if that’s what you’re asking, so everyday is a big adventure! Right now I’m planning a trip to Alaska/working on a volunteer project/starting a wonderful book by Jane Smiley.”
In other words, fill in the blank for whatever is going on in your world.
I think one reason why I enjoyed the 35th high school reunion, and why I don’t regret going to earlier ones, is because by the time you are in your 50’s, you realize that " life happens", even if you didnt admit it earlier.
Everyone has struggles and pain, whether it is visible or not. And I think people become more compassionate with age.
I meant I " dont regret NOT going to earlier ones".
I think when I was in my 30’s especially, that people needed the information provided by career choice, to determine what box to put others in.
Don’t assume that people are judging you or assigning worth to you by your answer to the “what do you do” question. I am out in the business world, but at a reunion I would find it more fascinating to talk to someone who, for example, volunteers at a children’s hospital than a corporate VP.
Just remember that in most cases, the dreaded question is meant to stimulate conversation…so no matter what your answer, add some little nugget of fodder for conversation.