I haven’t been, but then again I’ve been living as myself for only 12 years now, and I was 50 when I transitioned. One of the advantages of living as a woman only in middle-age – the accompanying invisibility. Plus, everybody at work knew me “before.” I was sexually harassed in the street a number of times in the first few years, and that was more than enough for me to know that it’s not a pleasant experience. In case there was any doubt! Verbal abuse is another story; I was relentlessly abused in that way by one person I worked for, for many years, and eventually quit largely because of that. And then there’s sexual abuse in childhood, which happens to people regardless of gender. Including me, a very long time ago.
I am all for the Academy throwing out Weinstein, but what about: Casey Affleck, Ben Affleck, Woody Allen, Roman Polanski, and you know there are others among the hound dogs of Hollywood who have groped women for years.
But at least the Academy did more than the NBA or the NFL. Have any of those players been kicked out of their sport completely for abusing women?
“Here is a question I have for the woman here…is there anyone amongst us that HASN’T been sexually harassed or abused ?”
Interesting. A group of my friends were talking about this the other day, and one of them said, “I have never been harassed at work, and I am grateful. I have worked in places where guys said horrible things to the other women there, and yet never me. And the sad thing is, there is always some little piece of me that asks ‘what’s wrong with me? Am I not attractive? Am I not sexy?’”
A lot of men are saying “As a father of daughters…” like it had never occurred to them that sexual harassment was wrong until their daughters were born. I’m sure that having daughters has made them realize the vulnerability of women. However, IMO they shouldn’t draw attention to how ignorant and clueless they were before their daughters came into the world or suggest that men who don’t have daughters have an excuse to ignore sexual harassment and sexual assault.
@lololu , is the harassment about physical attraction or intimidation and power ?
As a teen , I got unwanted sexual attention from men. It made me feel awful , but I sometimes pushed back when I felt that I could without putting myself in a worse situation than I already was in.
Sometimes it was cat calls when I walked down the street ,which I have always thought happened to all girls / women. I know it has happened to my daughters. One of mine was 12 when it started and since she worked with me, I saw it happening right in my presence. She was tiny with braces on her teeth and dressed like a surfer girl and yet men would stare at her and make moves on her !!!
Oh, harassment is about power. But I think she was saying that it is sad, that part of men’s power is their “right” to choose women. And that means they have the power to not choose you. She said she knows intellectually that that is wrong, and her value has nothing to do with whether men want her or not, but that some small part of her is still a high school girl who wants to be the chosen one.
Better late than never. You would prefer they never speak up? Because they don’t want to draw attention to ow ignorant they were before? Really?
Sure they should speak up but how about speaking up without the qualifiers? Just because harassment is wrong?
Fans do not seem to object to such things (unlike political protesting in some cases), so teams do not have much of a disincentive to avoid signing such players.
Regarding the “have you been” question, I thought we were talking about sexual harrassment at work, not about random guys catcalling on the street or whatever.
And I don’t regard the simple fact of a man, even a stranger, expressing interest or admiration as “harassment” in and of itself.
Regarding the “father of daughters” thing, I think that what they are saying to many men is that without that they might have continued unenlightened, just like you. So take it from me, it is wrong, and I now fully realize that, and so can you.
Football players who have been abusive have been suspended and fined and IIRC remanded to anger management programs. An NFL player who attended my HS ( decades after I attended) had his jersey taken down as well as other momentos. I do not think abuse is “tolerated” in the NFL. When it’s reported, it’s addressed. Michael Vick’s animal abuse landed him in jail.
Re: Better late than never…certainly true, but speaking up when it happened would’ve been better still, I’m tired of reading about how brave these people are for coming forward now. Brave would’ve been speaking up years ago and possibly stopping the cycle for who knows how many others. How many years did Paltrow, Jolie, etc. sit silently by knowing full well that other women were suffering the same indignities that they did? I’d love to hear someone ask them whether the money and fame they achieved was worth what they suffered…and others suffered because of their silence.
Hollywood is a cesspool. Between the cowardice, the complicity, and the corruption it’s no wonder this has gone on for so long. Actors, actresses, studio personnel, news media…all turning a blind eye for personal gain. It’s pathetic. Fearing for their careers?? Is it really a career worth having if you have to lower yourself to that level to achieve success?
I have never been harassed at work thankfully. I did have jerk rub himself up on my backside on a crowded Boston subway train when packed in standing when I was 20. I swung my elbow back as hard and sharply as I could without turning around and I heard an “oof” and I never turned around but he stopped. Yuck and gross. I have never fortunately felt I couldn’t handle a sticky situation. I am very lucky I guess.
People say this is not about sex, but power. I think it is about sex and they use their power to get it.
Example: I want my kid to do their homework and say, if you don’t do your homework I will take away your screens. Yes, I have the power to take away the screen, but what I want is the darn homework to get done.
I think HW likes sex with lots of young women and he coerces them to get it.
To be clear, it’s not that I want to exercise my power to take away the screens, I want the homework done. Flame away.
I happen to agree that it is about sex and not power. Which comes first the chicken or the egg? I am sure plenty of women stopped his advances along the way. But he is a predator so will proceed with the ones that don’t resist or stop him. That said I would think the ones that were violated did so because they thought he could impact their careers. Whether he could or couldn’t impact their careers can’t really be ascertained without considering who rebuffed their advances which is an unknown.
All the women I have read about were at the time young, thin and white. I have not read about an over weight woman, older one or woman of color saying he assaulted them (doesn’t mean they aren’t out there). If this is about power versus sex, would he not go after everyone? Probably not older because with more life experience a woman has learned to say buzz off.
I would imagine it was a powerful feeling to be able to “entice” beautiful women. Maybe not so much a woman who was overweight or older. Don’t know about the color issue.
There weren’t that many women of color in Hollywood to begin with…
Several actresses have come forward to state that they did rebuff his advances and they believe he did use his power to negatively impact their careers.