<p>I’m sorry. It must be terrible to be terrified of dying, something that’s inevitable for all of us. The people I know who are the most accepting of death fall in two groups: 1) those who are deeply religious and believe that Heaven is much better than anything here on Earth, and 2) doctors and nurses who have attended people as they died.</p>
<p>About the second group, I have heard so many of them say that death for older people whose deaths are not sudden is almost always a peaceful, comforting experience. They have told me stories of elderly people speaking, quite coherently and not under the influence of meds, to people who have died before them – people who are clearly “in the room” for them although not visible to anyone else. They have told me about dying people who “saw” God or Jesus with them, as well as people whose last words were those of wonder, accompanied by a smile.</p>
<p>One of my family members, a doctor, upon hearing the news that someone she knows is terminally ill, always asks if she may speak to that person. She offers words of comfort and experience, having held the hands of many people as they died. If you know a doctor, nurse, or hospice worker who has been at deaths, can offer words of comfort, and would be willing to talk to your mother, that might be helpful.</p>