<p>I thought you were always supposed to identify yourself on the phone before you asked to speak to someone. No, I’m wrong. FIRST you’re supposed to say, “Hello.” THEN you’re supposed to say, “This is My Name.” And only then are you allowed to say, “May I please speak to John/Jane?” Right? That was drilled into me when I was young, and it’s what I taught my kids to do.</p>
<p>But lately, whether I’m at work or at home, the first thing that follows when I answer the phone is “Is John/Jane there?” Sometimes it’s just, “Jane there?” as if it’s far too much trouble to greet the person whose day you’ve interrupted, or use any additional words. And sometimes the caller just says, “Jane?” which is the bare minimum, as far as words go.
At work, I’ll politely say “May I tell her who’s calling?” The subtext being, “Who the hell is this and what the hell do you want? It wasn’t my idea to talk to you!” At home, I’ll less-politely say, “Who’s calling?” About half the time, the caller is put out at MY nerve for asking.</p>
<p>Well, my home phone actually names names and announces who’s calling. Surprisingly, it often knows when even I don’t… It’s actually a little creepy. But, with kids especially I have noticed that some of them will do almost anything to avoid calling someone directly. Preferably, they will text or email. Personally, I like the phone. Sometimes, when I do identify myself it’s clear they already know.</p>
<p>…I don’t straight up ask, “Is Jane there?” That’s rude. </p>
<p>I know at work, generally because I have to remember they don’t know who is calling, I sometimes forget to say my name, but I always greet who is answering the phone. </p>
<p>WORKER: Hi, this Jennifer at (Insert Mall Here). How can I help you? (Something like that…)
ME: Hi, Jennifer. This is Niquii. Can I speak to so-and-so, please?</p>
<p>Well I guess I’ve just been rude all my life! I usually just say ‘May I speak to Jane please?’ I never identify myself first. That’s how most of the people I know are also. Sorry if you don’t like it. I hate talking on the phone and avoid it whenever possible. I love getting answering machines when I call. I also don’t think it is your business why I want to talk to Jane. It’s tough when I am calling someone and have to go through a lengthy explanation to her husband why I am calling her. Usually I am calling people who signed up for a volunteer list so my name is not recognizable to whoever answers, making more of an explanation necessary. I dislike the most trying to explain to a 6 year old why I need to speak to his mom. </p>
<p>Do you answer the phone and identify yourself right away? Like, hello, this is Susan? That might make me say Hi, Susan, may I speak to Jane please. I might even tell you who I am, and it would not mean anything to you because you don’t know me. Just as it’s not your idea to talk to me, I REALLY don’t want to be talking to you either.</p>
Well, dang. With that reasoning, the person you’re calling might as well hang up on you since you CLEARLY don’t want to talk to them. Better luck calling again and getting the person that is worth your time! / </p>
<p>
Or you could not give a lengthy explanation and just ask for Jane. </p>
<p>HUSBAND: Who are you calling for?
MAMA: Jane.
HUSBAND: What do you need to speak to her about?
MAMA: I’m calling to talk to Jane. </p>
<p>
It helps to develop a short little introductory sentence. </p>
<p>MAMA: I’m mamabear1234 with (Insert Volunteer Group). I was hoping to speak with you about your availability. </p>
<p>Sweet and short. Think of it as a cover letter for your phone call. </p>
<p>But really, if someone answers the phone and says someone wants to speak with me, I’m going to want to know who it is. </p>
<p>If someone calls my home or cell without identifying themselves and/or the organization they are working on behalf of, I’m going to assume the caller is either lacking in basic phone etiquette or a poorly trained sketchy telemarketer. </p>
<p>In both cases, my inclination is to just hang up…especially if the caller’s tone is imperious or demanding in tone. </p>
<p>If one is calling someone, I don’t think it’s demanding too much to be greeted properly and to be informed of the caller’s name and/or organization he/she’s calling behalf of. </p>
<p>Well, when I was in private practice the Police called and ID’d themselves but would not tell my secretary what they wanted so she told me in the middle of an exam that the police were calling. I then left the exam thinking it was serious about my family (near panic)- it was about a fund raiser for the police organization. This happened a couple of other times and my heart rate was lower and I informed my secretary that she needed to demand to know what it was about. I never donated. Not nice.</p>
<p>Do people still have communal phones where this is an issue? I don’t remember the last time I made a personal call where I had to ask for someone. When I’m calling on behalf of a business or something, I’ll identify myself but not personal calls because it honestly doesn’t come up.</p>
<p>Some of us still have land lines (ours with no caller ID). Most people who call here do not identify themselves first, I am wondering if it is a regional thing.</p>
<p>I am not imperious or demanding. I am very polite and grit my teeth and go through the whole explanation. It’s more like,‘My name is ___ (means nothing to them if they have never heard it before) I am calling for Jane. I got her name from Joan at ____ Church because she offered to be on our luncheon committee. I need someone tomorrow at 2:00.’ Then he will decide if he thinks she can talk to me. My husband knows better than to be a gatekeeper for my phone calls. If someone calls and asks for me, he hands me the phone.</p>
<p>If the call isn’t for you, then wouldn’t it be rude to ask who’s calling? It’s really none of my business, so I just hand over the phone. I only ask if the recipient asks. </p>
<p>
This has been my experience as well. But I can see why you might want to identify the caller, since it allows the receiver to decide whether to take the call. It’s a privacy vs. convenience trade-off. </p>
<p>Maybe it is regional. I think it is polite to identify yourself, before asking to speak to someone. I don’t think it is rude to ask whose calling, I think it is rude not to identify yourself. </p>
<p>Rude: Hey, let me talk to Rose.
Not rude: Hello, may I please speak to Rose?</p>
<p>Honestly, I’m not getting the gist of this thread, but I suppose I’m going to go with mamabear1234’s first reply.<br>
Additionally, I’m intrigued by the fact that peeps still have a landline for purposes other than a fax machine. (-:</p>
<p>We will always hang onto a landline, at least in this house. We have enough hurricanes, durachos, and nasty storms that knock out power in the area to ever risk going cell only. One cheap phone that doesn’t need power to operate gives peace of mind. </p>
<p>I will ask them to identify themselves first in that case. You called me. If you don’t recognize my voice, you could say “hi, this is xxxx. I am looking to speak with yyyyy.”</p>
<p>We are also holding onto the land line. I like to be able to use that number to give to various businesses, organizations, etc, when a phone number is required. Then they can leave a message on the machine and I can decide what to do with it at my leisure. Plus I still believe they may share or sell information like that.</p>
<p>We still have a shared landline. If someone calls and asks for either of us (me or H), I will ask who’s calling. I do think someone who wants to talk to me should tell me who they are, and I don’t hand the phone over to H anonymously. (He doesn’t hear well and does not like to take calls w/o knowing who it is.) We have Caller ID, but it’s not always clear from it who it is.</p>
<p>It just seems polite to me to identify yourself to the people you want to talk to; after all, you know who they are; why wouldn’t you say who you are?</p>
<p>We are another household that will never get rid of our landline. I don’t want people calling me all the time on my cell. I want a barrier to access.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I hate this too. Excuse me, caller, but you’re the one who imposed upon my time and attention in the privacy of my home. Identify yourself.</p>
<p>I agree with frazzled in the OP, and was taught to identify myself when making a call. If I am calling someone I don’t know well, I also state the purpose of the call to the person answering. In the south, where I live now, it would be considered rude not to ask the person answering the phone how they were and shoot the breeze about the weather or something. Just asking for “Jane” would be seen as unacceptably abrupt.</p>
<p>We also have a landline. It is the really old kind that still works when the power goes out. We make international calls occasionally. The cellphone rates on international calls are high or used to be. In addition, the cellphone reception is lousy in our house.</p>
<p>I don’t ask who’s calling unless I suspect it’s a telemarketer. I am not interested in being a gatekeeper. I don’t always identify myself when I call. I do say hello and may I talk to so and so. It doesn’t bother me if they just ask is xxx there or even xxx? when I answer the phone.</p>
<p>A caller asking me who’s this when I answer the phone ticks me off, too. If they are asking me who I am, they should introduce themselves first. I get nasty fast.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Or they are trying not to waste your time with unnecessary chit chat? In our area, it’s usually telemarketers who goes on and on with how are you today’s. I actually feel insulted when they do that. They are interrupting my peace to sell something and they ask me how I am. What’s so polite about that?</p>
</p>